Friday, August 12, 2016

I need help [ ; (A Good Starry Story)

Dear God,

I am crippled by my guilt.

I imagine millions of people on Earth are experiencing unimaginable, unbelievable pain

I am sitting at Mom's laptop gently crying

I think I should donate to Ox Fam and Doctors without Borders



I feel like I need to do something to stop suffering

I feel guilty for wasting everyone's time

I am glad that I am in a comfortable and safe environment

I am sexually aroused

My instinct is to impregnate as many women as I can



I wonder what the purpose of existence is

I mostly enjoyed watching episodes 2 and 3 of Lady Dynamite this morning

It is honest and surprising at times

I love the scenes of her and her parents in Duluth

It is highly sexual, which I enjoy

It is too frantic for me sometimes



I am A Catch-22

I am The Chicken and The Egg

I feel bad for doing nothing

and because I feel bad

I feel like doing nothing

and I do nothing

and I feel bad

I do not know exactly what I mean by 'feel bad'

I think about bad things

such as

Suicide

Rape

Murder

War

Starvation

Disease


or Torture


Now that all of that is out of our way,

Let us put on a sunny face

Let us do something good or fun, like build a house

or invent something that makes all your pain vanish instantly before you feel any


{:

ha

ha


This is a good starry story, Greg Wredberg


Last night Aaron said, You are God

Everyone and everything is God


People are creative and self-aware like The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit....

Well, we, people, are like Them because we are Them.

I guess.

I am trying to find some answers


I guess I should work on something

What I am doing here, this thinking and typing and saving,

Is this work?

I am so grateful for other People.

I feel insane sometimes and it is so scary and painful

Then my Mom gets home and I want to make things better for her, I worry about her, I want her to not worry about me

So I feel different when I can see her and hear her

I am different with others than when I am alone

I am better with others

I feel better with others

Unless the others are mean or dangerous


I must not forget that good work can be done alone, meaning not directly interacting with people


My real and most important work is on myself, by myself

Every one is infinitely alone, but that is not sad, because it is the only way to be

It is sad to reject yourself. It is bad not to try to get to know yourself.


I want to go to a park

I want to eat wine and cheese

I want to make love with a beautiful young woman

I want her to get pregnant

It is OK with me if someone other than me gets her pregnant

I want to keep a human baby alive

I want to keep an old human alive


I want to make life better all of the time

{: I am going to try to watch Lady Dynamite again now, because I am mentally ill and I need help and I want to feel good about people and our connections and lives and eternity

good night, lover

Bye,

I love you


I will see you and smell you and all-other-senses you very soon

I hope.

Later, bitches, tee hee, Try the appllee strudel, it takes like applless !!!!!!! Go!

- G








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