Black cat billie goat looking like toadstool women.
Kissing my mommas head; she ain't no cream pie fillin'.
Watch out for the man with two eyes on his engine.
Running in the forest fires, no wind under my wings.
Growing three rabbit toes: making myself a friend.
Cutting out the heart bone of the only one who sings.

Cute Poem to Pass Yourself

...
Ow... My body hurts.
I drank two Margaritas before 3 pm.
I woke up loopy doopy just after 5 pm. (Like a loser society.)
I am an office building that is 6 stories tall.
I'm watching The Intern starring Robert De Niro.
Anna Hathaway is a cute baby.
She tells me where to go in New York City.
She wrote me a poem to pass myself for 5 minutes.


I slept 12 hours. I know I need Big cheese Changes
for 12 year old daughters, Eat Steak Sandwiches
-
I read the doctors guidebook pamphlet.
I redirected shrimp boats into my left arteries.

Your stupid Brain Blood Coffin rockin'
Toasty Road Beds to North Africa
Suicide Mission for the Lord Jesus Christ -
I slept 16 men
in my basket
red thatch
I grew up
I ate her
red feelings
A bad Mickey Mouse
-
Crane construction on 6th Street
Arm Bone Crackin' almost 40 years old
Glass shatterin' 6 Solid People
-
Bodies riding meat trolleys.
Ocean savor death Pygmy
Riot, Bean Forest Roast.

... Finally,
I reached
for a nude painting,
her teary eyes,
bubbles gross triumph,
Fart doctor metaphysical
Seance Rhythm,
I thought we thought of our parents,
but 65 Million Land Bureau Grants
cannot prevent World Fires,
Dead Cows, Tried too hard,
Never did anything,
And never will do anything.

The pain made my vision split.
I read that Holy train took them,
Never bleeding a cellular prison,
Practically needed Two more
People leave forever,
The end.

Curse the far poor

Far, the poor curse

The poor far curse

Poor, the far curse

Par for the course.

Balconies and Births

The porches
Up stairs! we
Scream.
We fell out
Of her love.

The Best Story

We are two humans on a beach.
God is real.
They love us.
We are Them.
Let's make out.

Humans are animals,
connections, and stories.
Jesus Christ is the Best Story.

I wrote as fast and honestly as I could

8-13-2015 6:54 p.m. 321 Go

Free write, I been drinkin wine, all rite

                 Rites of practice, Blew a Hell Officer
I got 50 years in Secular Religious
Hate Fuck Sex I kill niggas for fun
I Love Amy I fuck her throat every
90 seconds I Love to kill babies
My life is a Feardom Boat of
Life Skin Failing Across a fuck
End the Ocean I want Salt in
Our overcoats Fear the time
I fear the Holy Divine Knowing
A Life of Hero Idols Fear
Home is Hell I hate Licking
your tite young Cunt Follow Me on
Sextube I want to Fall out of
a time w/ Love I can hear die

Why Are Women Generally So Superior to Me

I love you so much

All I can do is crumble

and cry.

I don't want to die.

My skin and my blood are like fires

late at night

on the dry dirt of the backyard

of the house where I supposedly

"grew up".

I cannot hear his voice or her voice.

I know that

I am made of Language.

For me, Language may as well be God.

My penis turned into a hot stone of blood, back into a wet baby sock, then into a bloody dagger of magma.

Being by myself in this house,

my thoughts turn into Absolute Shit.


Of course

All I need to do is Help Everyone.

I am responsible for the Well Being

of every single

God Damned Human

on this God Forsaken Planet

Death is permanent and constant.

I fucking break my neck.

I drink a Full Glass of Red Wine.

I could buy a gun in less than 30 minutes.


Please, do not look at me.

Please, get away from me.

Please, love me, like I am the Father

of your children,


I cooked chicken legs for the whole family

to eat. The skin is crispy and delicious, like

Italian Women in heat,

slurping deep brown syrup.

The Last Part:

"My Hell comes from inside

"comes from inside myself.

"Why fight this?"

"God is a Woman and my Mom she is a witch

"I ... like ...

this."

- Modest Mouse, Isaac Brock


Good bye

These People Are Similar

Sun Kil Moon

Car Seat Headrest

Jeffrey Lewis

Kevin Barnes

Kimya Dawson

Yoni Wolf

The Mountain Goats

Sufjan Stevens


They tell their stories in songs, or just say stuff about themselves to music.

Hurt

Have You ever wanted to hurt yourself and never die? I guess I think I want to take my mind off of feelings that feel worse than hitting my hand on something or hitting my face. Although, after I stop thinking about that bodily pain, I will feel crazy, and I will feel even worse. I pace until my feet hurt. I probably drank too much coffee. Maybe I should have gone to Austin again. Maybe I should be volunteering right now.

I do not hate myself, but I am more disappointed in myself than I have ever been.


I AM LISTENING TO THE CLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

DEATH     OF       GLORY        !


FUCK THESE FEELINGS !


I AM BETTER THAN MYSELF  !



BECOME .... JUST ANOTHER STORY

I need help [ ; (A Good Starry Story)

Dear God,

I am crippled by my guilt.

I imagine millions of people on Earth are experiencing unimaginable, unbelievable pain

I am sitting at Mom's laptop gently crying

I think I should donate to Ox Fam and Doctors without Borders



I feel like I need to do something to stop suffering

I feel guilty for wasting everyone's time

I am glad that I am in a comfortable and safe environment

I am sexually aroused

My instinct is to impregnate as many women as I can



I wonder what the purpose of existence is

I mostly enjoyed watching episodes 2 and 3 of Lady Dynamite this morning

It is honest and surprising at times

I love the scenes of her and her parents in Duluth

It is highly sexual, which I enjoy

It is too frantic for me sometimes



I am A Catch-22

I am The Chicken and The Egg

I feel bad for doing nothing

and because I feel bad

I feel like doing nothing

and I do nothing

and I feel bad

I do not know exactly what I mean by 'feel bad'

I think about bad things

such as

Suicide

Rape

Murder

War

Starvation

Disease


or Torture


Now that all of that is out of our way,

Let us put on a sunny face

Let us do something good or fun, like build a house

or invent something that makes all your pain vanish instantly before you feel any


{:

ha

ha


This is a good starry story, Greg Wredberg


Last night Aaron said, You are God

Everyone and everything is God


People are creative and self-aware like The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit....

Well, we, people, are like Them because we are Them.

I guess.

I am trying to find some answers


I guess I should work on something

What I am doing here, this thinking and typing and saving,

Is this work?

I am so grateful for other People.

I feel insane sometimes and it is so scary and painful

Then my Mom gets home and I want to make things better for her, I worry about her, I want her to not worry about me

So I feel different when I can see her and hear her

I am different with others than when I am alone

I am better with others

I feel better with others

Unless the others are mean or dangerous


I must not forget that good work can be done alone, meaning not directly interacting with people


My real and most important work is on myself, by myself

Every one is infinitely alone, but that is not sad, because it is the only way to be

It is sad to reject yourself. It is bad not to try to get to know yourself.


I want to go to a park

I want to eat wine and cheese

I want to make love with a beautiful young woman

I want her to get pregnant

It is OK with me if someone other than me gets her pregnant

I want to keep a human baby alive

I want to keep an old human alive


I want to make life better all of the time

{: I am going to try to watch Lady Dynamite again now, because I am mentally ill and I need help and I want to feel good about people and our connections and lives and eternity

good night, lover

Bye,

I love you


I will see you and smell you and all-other-senses you very soon

I hope.

Later, bitches, tee hee, Try the appllee strudel, it takes like applless !!!!!!! Go!

- G

dignity fallen

mapplethorpe's penis shaft's perfectly circular circumference

82

Centimetres

And years old

Dead stuff in my gut

I lied about seeing anything real-ating to the Cosmos and light shafts and and Black eye ball matter.

there was too much ice on the car's winshield even tho it was in the closed garage, so we laid on our couch on that dark day and watched TV. We ate microwaved popcorn bag after bag, we could not help but laugh and keep waking each other up


....

I am choosing to use this computer and the Internet

I am not chosing to try to fall asleep again

I am choosing what I think is easier and gives me more pleasure right now


Later, if I do not sleep anough, I will feel bad. I will feel worse and worse until I sleep enough. My body needs to regenerate and stabilize.


I am tired, and my head hurts a little. I am a little hungry. Where I am it is 303 a.m.


I want to read about Isaac Brock now, or read facebook and see photos

. .


how strange to think

that God is just part of humanity

since really humanity is just a part of God

Musicked

Every day is a happy place behind the time we ran away.

Some time before noon, we fell off the house's floor.

After a breakfast of scallops, bread, and butter

I row my brother to meet our father's mother.



They end up doing what they want to do.


So stupid I'm acting like a very young child.


This is too god [ good ] , I mean it's too much for me

too stupid

My life in a word :  stupid



I posted a comment on her 43rd youtube video

I saw the Refugee Amputee and I came in black ankle sock

I was so proud that I fell asleep for 14.57 hours and dreamed that I was a rocket pilot and we all won the war because of God's limitless love, The End

A Modern Materially Wealthy Young Human's Anxieties and Disillusionment ... how boring and tired

I don't know

It blows me mind

... [:


That

Our bodies are cells that keep dying and being replaced.

More so it blows my mind,

That

Our bodies are atoms

that keep leaving us and becoming other things and other bodies.

And other atoms keep replacing them and becoming our new bodies.

And our brains and brain activity, the mechanics of our thoughts, are atoms and chemical reactions.


I think our bodies are parts of our minds

and our minds are parts of our souls.

It is nice to be eternal.......

Real Pretentious and Megalomaniacal, I guess

It is 8:53 a.m. and I have finished my chores for today. I started drinking red wine about 20 or 30 minutes ago. I want to get drunk in the next hour. I am listening to Strangers to Ourselves again. I shuffled the album. It played Be Brave first and now it's playing Strangers to Ourselves. I was listening to Give a Glimpse of What Yer Not, but I do not like it very much. I want to like it, because Aaron said he likes it a lot. I like being able to understand all of the lyrics of songs. I like The Ground Walks with Time in a Box. Maybe because we are both stupid. If I were better at life, I would not like this song and I would like Dinosaur Jr. more, maybe.


I am horny.

I took a walk a dawn again. Mom worried. I told her I just walked slowly. She said she won't worry about me when I take walks anymore.

I took my penis out on Cutting Horse. I covered it with the end of my shirt. It got erect.

I was running in our backyard moving dead branches a little bit ago. I pulled my shorts down to expose my penis, and I ran around some more. I acted very silly. I was just buzzed on coffee and my life I guess.

I want to read about Isaac Brock's brother Ansel. It sounds sad. I started reading an article about Brock a few months ago.

I like Wakin on a Pretty Day. The line, I guess he wanted to kill himself.

It is so silly. I want to battle my mental pain today. I should think in silence with my eyes closed.

I want to try to meditate, or something. I want to type my plan for my near future. I guess this is a start. I keep thinking about porn. I keep thinking about Annar. I think I should visit the staff at Cepeda, because they all know that I came back from Canada weeks ago. I am too ashamed to try to talk to them or listen to their questions or comments.

I am ashamed to not visit them. I think that they are probably offended that I do not want to visit them.

I have violent thoughts about people. I have looked at women's faces and imagined facefucking them. I have seen people and thought, I am going to murder them. I imagined shooting a hole through my head with a bullet and a pistol.

I thought about walking to the closest gas station, buying a bottle of wine, taking it home, drinking all of it, and getting sick on it, so I can't think of anything else.

All of that sounds so stupid.

It is all so stupid.

Is it really stupid to type all of this on the Internet ?

I like doing this.

It seems helpful to me...

French is funny {:

A Catherine Deneuve movie is playing on the TV muted,

I looked at her topless online a little bit ago. I also looked at Julie Delpy naked. Mom and I watched a bit of a documentary interviewing people about Richard Linklater. It is a bit cringe-inducing at times.


Bit is a nice word. It is simple. I am simple. I woke up at 3 a.m. and stayed up. I exercised again. I thought about walking on the beach at dawn next week. I love it. I do care. I want to cum inside of a nice, 20 year old, mature, independent woman.



I want to write a fun story that makes people who read it feel good.



I want to never hate myself again. I want to always do better.



I am tired. I'm at about 40 or 30 percent energy.


You seem special.

I do not like disliking things.

I do not understand why some things are good and some things are bad.

There are rules to Reality.

Is that true?

Is any of this or me worth anything?

What is a part of me and what is not?


I wish I would read......

I wonder why
it is so difficult
to try to understand
what someone means to me
by words that they give me.

I get so tired of words.

I have to give them up sometimes.

I have to focus on images and sounds and feelings and events and Other People.

They give me perfect relief and happiness.



I think listening to music is almost always better than not listening to music. Good music is like life.


Drums and guitar and a voice sings in English.

"Don't worry be happy" "I keep telling myself"

I love relaxing more than almost anything, I guess.

I love calm and clear.

It is TV on the Radio.


I do not trust my judgments at all sometimes.


I need to do something productive or I might hate myself and everything else soon.

I wonder if getting drunk is a bad idea.

I want to watch BBC news or something like that.

I love British and Australian and Irish and Scottish accents. And Dutch and German accents. And Scandinavian accents. And Canadian accents. And some American accents. And African accents. And Asian accents. Hmmm.... that seems to be everything except Hispanic and Native American. I like those too sometimes.



What can I do that would be the best use of my time and energy?



Aaron makes me sad and angry sometimes.


I make myself sad and angry sometimes.


Sometimes I make myself so happy and love myself so much that I make myself cry.


I composed a poem while driving in Bastrop yesterday afternoon, and I gave myself goosebumps.

I love Spoon. I love Booooooom.com

I love Louie and other comedians.

I love Life.

I love Kids in the Hall.

I don't want to hurt myself

or anyone.



I am only afraid of not caring

enough to do something that ruins my life or someone else's


... I'll be okay

OKay?

We are dying

Obviously


I like tUnE-yArDs a lot.

She is real pretentious.

It's wonderful.

We do not care.

An Old Woman Walks God Is an Angel He Died (2016 A.D.)

Black, Title in white Arial letters, normal capitalization, center, one line

Top half of the screen: An old woman walks for an hour and a half on the side of a road. At the end, she goes into a small house in the woods, then the sun rises. Cut to black. Scroll credits, full screen.

Bottom half of the screen: 1 minute-long fade in on some movie about an average American family, community, suburb or big city, poorer side. They should be mostly white. It's like a documentary. It spans a year and a half. There are 2 or 3 kids, 2 parents, and a few other relatives. Scenes of school days and work and chores and holidays and vacations and boring wasted days and wonderful long days. End with family eating at a table. Cut to black (same time as top half.)

The Title in Black Letters at the Top

free trapped
clothe cold
feed hungry
hug lonely

I watched Life Is Beautiful yesterday.

I went to bed about 9.

I woke about 2:30 a.m.

I had a wonderful dream. It was about Mike and Bob from Twin Peaks. They were eggs. There was a science guy. There was a lab or a library. There was a town. There was a rainstorm. There was a golfball or a ping pong ball. There were minutes. There was watching. The was a restaurant and bar. There was a booth. There was talking. There was a kids' book. I said, "Thank you, rainstorm." A fat man said, "My pony is as long as this table."

I guess that is everything



I want to cut together a trailer for Life Is Beautiful. I want to use only dark and sad scenes. The sound is only what is on the scence shown.

It opens with the fog when he says we're just dreaming. Then he sees the mountain of bodies and backs away.

Then the mother and the grandmother find the tipped table and food on the floor.

Then the boy looking out of the slot in the cubby he hid in.

Then the German yelling in the barracks.

Then when he carries the anvil and the guy says they'll kill you.

Then the boy says a Man was crying and said they burn us in ovens and he repeats it.

Then after the mother hears their voices on the speakers, staring into space.

At the end is when he is killed. Then is the freezeframe at the real end and the title at the top in bold black.