Free Write, Journal, the first draft of this was written in pen on the backs of 2 pages that list items not to flush down toilets (:

9-18-2016 9:04 p.m.

I am standing at the kitchen counter in apartment 117
at 2048 Stassney Lane in Austin, Texas. I am drinking vodka
and Lemon Ginger carbonated water. It's okay. I like
feeling tipsy. I have plans for tomorrow, Monday.
I have been feeling bad and anxious and sad. I have
been wasting time in these rooms for a week.
Before that, I wasted most of my time at other places
and at my mom's house, my childhood home.

I have been watching and listening to KaysASMR
today, and she is so lovely and soothing.

I walked to Live Oak Market this evening.
It was a pleasant and rewarding walk. I'm glad
I have been writing. I want my writing to be
worth something to someone esle. I think I am
kind of anti-social. I am extremely passive and lazy,
like I think I have always been. I really want to help
people and myself Live wonderful Lives.

Next Page

So a large part of me is The Internet.
I do not understand. I want to understand.
Aaron often confuses me and makes me sad.
I read a few sentences of Music That Is Soundless
tonight. I barely understand it. I do no understand it.
I want to be quiet. I want to be correct.

I thought of sex and the meaning of life, while I
walked south on Manchaca towards Stassney.

The meaning of Life = Being God = Doing Good

Sex is nice. Making love is good. Making people is good.

Being responsible, Least Harmful, Most Helpful

I thought of my former Psychotherapist, Stacy Watkins. I like
her. I wonder if my plan to eat tacos with
Clarisa will become real... I wonder what we
might talk about ( taco 'bout...) I was REwatching
Good Mythical Morning Season 2 from 2012... Two human males named Rhett and Link. I was good and bad. ( eating. ) I watched
porn. I tried to give myself an Orgasm, but I failed. It hurt... in several ways.
I tried again, while watching Scottish Murmers ASMR'S cleavage on a nurse roleplay video on You Tube. I came.... So.... This is me. Later.......

Now it is 8:17 a.m. in Austin, Texas. 9-19-2016

I am listening, and have been listening to Jeffrey Lewis Spotify radio. Neutral Milk Hotel Devendra Banhart, Elliot Smith, Okkervil River.

I don't enjoy listening to Elliot Smith. A few weeks ago I read on Wikipedia that he stabbed himself in the chest after an argument with someone, who had locked herself in the bathroom. He died in the hospital.

I feel like a cliche when I enjoy Neutral Milk Hotel. That's okay. I do not want to judge anyone for enjoying anything. I wonder if there are good cliches. I feel bad for people who think they are better than someone based on what each person enjoys. I feel bad  for people who might not enjoy anything, at least most of the time....

That is nonsense.

I want to rake a garden and kill a snake.

Now I gotta get ready to drive and talk to Clarisa and eat a taco.

I love Jeff Lewis. Honestly, really.

I hope i do not rape or murder Clarisa. Why would I do that! Why would I think that! Is that true!

I hope for lots of things and events. I am not really afraid that I will do anything like that.

I Am afraid that I will do nothing, or flake out.

I am afraid that I will crash a car.

I am afraid that I will fall into the way of a car.

I am afraid that I will cry in front of someone.

I am afraid I will pee or poop before I get to a toilet or that someone will see me pee or poop.

I am afraid that someone will dislike me because of my appearance or my actions or my words.


Haha [: that is all true

Bye bye fo now, nigga. I love your fat balls. I love Gravy. Peace and Love and Grace to you, dear dear readear.
 deer, fawn. Doe. Doh. ok really. i am going to stop in a second. i hope to be back later today, in a few hours.

Later! - Greg Wredbeg