Connection, i found Spotify again........ here now

Meal delay


Medley of Vegetables

Melody and a Land of gropes, gross meat men fingering fondling, dirty street pizza place grease and sex and dead rats and roaches and fucking Adele stepmom, Dead People I knew, I never know, anything is better than my thoughts free of reality, feeling the nothing, creeping, shriveling, groveling, biting, pissing, shitting, grinning, heaving, humping, seething, clenching, wheezing, happy,

I stand up on the grey sidewalk. The sky is light grey. It is mid-morning. I have nothing to do all day. I'm not really hungry. I think I should eat something good soon.

I wonder where my mother is.

I wonder where we will be in 20 years.

I wonder how it feels to be anyone else. Do others feel hunger the same as I do?

What is pain? Why is there pain? What is wrong? What is wanting?

How simple can I make this?

OK, so... I want to be alive as long as I can.

So... I want to feel good... I want to feel healthy...

I want to be pretty sure that I am doing something that is somehow better than anything else I could be doing at this moment...


I enjoy some female voices very much. "Myth" by Beach House is playing on this laptop.

Female is different than male.

Mom talked about her Diabetes doctor visit. A woman, young, not a doctor, named Ashley. Mom said she liked her and she likes the young women working there.

I thought of young women working in healthcare. I thought of ASMR videos and their creators. I wonder how many women working in healthcare know about ASMR and are involved with it somehow.

I thought of telling Mom that young women are my favourite kind of people.



U. Ur a pony. Ur up. Ursula is bear. A German bear. Female. Mother. I can say. I can see. U are an apple. I have a penis. I cannot care. I have monkeys in my maple tummy. I want to eat meat now.

I am going to die in the next 100 years. Maybe the next 10 seconds. Maybe my soul "Me" will exist forever, beyond time and space. Beyond eternity. Beyond, Better than God. More powerful and intelligent.


I want to fuck shit cunt fuck I kill fuck I can feel a baby going through my urethra I want to explode I want to cum I want my penis to implode and be gone with my testicles and libido and be free and eternal and die and ride a horse than has no physical dimensions and is omniscient and wonderful and kind and groovy and runs forever toward beautiful places and light that exists perfectly and never gets worse and changes into whatever it must change into to fulfill a pattern of efficiency and order... I can see these things.
I want to invent new languages and letters.

I know a girl. SHe is 11 years old. Her vagina is 5 centimeters.

I know I am wrong.

I do not know why.

I do not know what I need to do to make life as good as it can be.



I want to swing outside by a house and a trellis. THe sun shines. FLowers bloom. White silky petals, Petals are better than silk. SO soft that I die and come right back to say, I am happy and I want to die and have you seen the movie I am making in my mind?

I am so horny.

I know I want to read Plato right now I guess. I guess I don't know.


I know I need to eat something good like leaf veggies that are in the fridge.

If I want to live, and I do, I need to be clear about how I want to live,

I want to be clear with what I want to be and do.



Over the sun is a dung beetle feeding its son and dying on a flame.

He evaporates and becomes a part of the infinite everything.

He is never forgotten.



The end.

Bye, my name is Gregory Wredberg. I love you. No one knows. Later. Peace out, my friend.