Why.
It can be so sad. I can be.
I'm at home. It's almost sunset. I just watched a throat fucking video and came on some toilet paper. I ate ice cream, chocolate sauce, cheese and triscuits (what a clever name! shouldn't they be triangular?), milk, whipped cream, more chocolate sauce, and shrimp flavor Ramen noodles.
I am living exactly like I was eight years ago. It's like I'm on high school summer vacation. I hate work. I don't care about anything. I don't wanna do anything. Storytelling is a weird movie. Let me just spend another eight hours on the internet alone...
I watched three episodes of 30 Rock. Work did go pretty well. I am very happy to have tomorrow off. Howson on Saturday will probably be pretty easy. My memory is pretty good. I can make myself care enough in most situations. I hate driving sometimes, or hate that I have to drive, or hate that my seat doesn't move forward anymore and my shoulders and chest and neck hurt.
Curses Fired - Natureboy... GTA 3, Tony. You - Gold Panda ... Cameron's Dad's glass garage ravine.
I figured out the square root rule in Towards Self Meaning. I heard a cool Canadian band called Ought. When I heard the DJ say it, I thought Ott... like Ottawa {: Capital. How trivial.
Gotta drive to Austin early again. I want to go outside. What do I need to do? I need to use money at a farmers market (not Sprouts, a real one.) Haha, It's so funny that I worked there for 6 months. Sort of sad. It was pretty easy. I hope that this library job doesn't fall apart. Or that I don't fall apart at it.
I really want to know all about how and why animals live off of other living things.
I took a break. I listened to youtube songs, Lower Dens and Cocorosie. It's an hour and half since I started this post. Heather Graham is on Twin Peaks now. Log Lady touched the Colonel's face.
I did some square roots. Not seeing any meaning. I walked outside. The soil looked fertile and alive. I could sort of feel the churning and the growing. Plants are amazing, chemicals, water, sunlight.
I peed out back. I ran towards the house and looked at the blue sky. I jumped over the pile of deck boards.
Buddy followed me around the property.
I have four months to find a better way to live.
Flying dogs. Paw five toes. Four feet. Coyotes... Grizzly. Communication techniques. Picnic skill. Body talent.
Got to sleep a lot, sleep is wonder... or the opposite. You can't make a fist holding hands.
Oh dam. Liquid gold.
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