no ends

I realised (I am from the USA and still live there, but that's just mostly how I automatically type 'realise', and I like it more than with a 'z'.)


I realised... today, while shelving non-fiction books at my library,

that my thinking of killing myself (no matter how generic or purposeless)

is disrespectful to everyone and everything.

I feel a basic social responsibility.

I feel sorry for people in physical pain,

and I feel more sorry for people living hopelessly horrific lives.

Middle East, Africa, Asia, South and Central America, NPR stories, ignorance, narrow-mindedness, generalization, Colonization, Globalization, Homogenization, meaninglessness


About a day ago, I briefly thought of joining the Peace Corps again.

I am scared of going somewhere close to places where many people have been killed by other people,

and where people fear that other people may kill them.


I would much rather live on a peaceful place on Canadian soil.

Easy life, easy mind.

I can wait.

I fear death.

I fear God.

I fear myself.

I fear others.

I fear fear.

I do not understand the meaning of fear.

I understand next to nothing.



There

I have to go

now

Bye

{:

love

to no end