Refining Thoughts

I should try to think about how I can make the future better, then I should do those things.

I will try to think about how I will make the future better, then I will do those things.

Some time soon, you will notice that you were not thinking. You will think, what was I thinking?

Soon, I will think, what am I thinking? I will stop thinking. I will think nothing. I will think, I was not thinking. Why was I not thinking? Why am I thinking?

How can I try to think?

How do I try to think?

How will I try to think?

I like verbs more than most other parts o' speech ( or writing )


From Facebook

With mark kozelek. Cozy Leck. Lake. Loch. Cozy cabin in the highlands in the early Autumn with a beautiful young woman who loves everyone...


Am I going to hate and burn and scream and cry and die for Eternity


Do not suffer the Hell of being stuck with only your own thoughts for an uncertain length of time.

ff
I hope Hell is not real.


If it is, I hope I have already lived through it.


Yesterday, after I saw Clarisa, I was in the car, at the light on 35 and Riverside facing west. A man with burn-scarred skin all over him, was walking on the median past the stopped cars. I was in a very good mood, because of seeing Clarisa and having some plans for later, but not that many, and because I was listening to Jeffrey Lewis.

I gave the guy a five dollar bill. He said, "thank you, Jesus. Thank you." I nodded and I think I smiled. I said, "Stay cool." He was sweating a lot. It was sunny, probably 90 degrees. I was a little worried about his health. But I just drove away and waved.

Death is a blessing. And life is a blessing too.

Everyone dies. It is not sad. Life is sad. Life can be sad and wasted in many ways.

I want to try to live.

I want people to try to live well and help each other.

Newtown, Connecticut

Mates of State

My niece, Sofie W-------, born February 22, 2015. Today is September 20, 2016.

I thought of torture as I waited to fall asleep last night.

There is a scene in a war movie, I don't remember, maybe it was American Sniper. A guy in a tiny cell full of flashing light and loud harsh music.

I wished torture had never existed and wished that no one will ever torture someone.


I want to end this post on a positive.

I am listening to Sun Kil Moon and drinking a mug o' wine.


My mom came over from work few minutes ago to get her leftover chicken fried rice from Fire Bowl.

She told me about her difficult day, so far.

I feel OK.

I am supposed to be looking for jobs. I might not ever do that again. I love being jobless and alone.

I love killing myself and living forever happy and fat and dumb and silly and faggot and bitch and cunt and Fellow Human Being and Fellowship of Jesus Christ, the Father and the Holy Ghost.

I like being myself right now.

I love alcohol so much... honestly.

I love music more than anyone, I love singer and songwriters like Mark Kozelek more than anything.

I love people. I fear people. I fear bodily pain.

I hate fear.

I hate evil.

I wonder if evil is real.

Or if it's just people who are failing to be good people. Maybe that is what evil is.

I wonder what "good" really means.

I wonder if all these thoughts and all this typing is a waste of time.

I want to type more facts.

Like that burn-scarred guy.

Clarisa is pretty nice looking. There are a million people I would be more attracted to.

I asked if she wanted to take a walk by the river with me soon. I said I think that would be nice. For us.

She said yes, that would be great.

I am going to spend some time with Aaron tomorrow. With his body. Our bodies will be within ten feet of each other. We will hear each others voices, without telephones or any electronics or technology.

I love this. Track Number 8 by Sun Kil Moon

Good night.

Please do not call me lazy or stupid to my face

I cannot take it

I need to cry

I cannot keep myself from crying

I love complaining even from other people

Happiness makes you cry

Everyone makes everyone cry

and it is good

Tire swings and giant trees and pandas and huge bears and moss covered lands

Science dreams and purple and pink and green and blue skies

Her yes... her eyes... Sparkly stars

Eternity and Love

Love, gregory wredberg {:

Real and Honest

All I want is to be real

and honest.

This is a poem.

Poems are people.

I live my life in this apartment, 500 square feet, two sliding glass doors for windows.

I drink red wine to feel more sane.

I listen to Kimya Dawson and Neutral Milk Hotel.

I am worried about death and pain.

I am worried about evil people and accidents.


I am worried about God and Jesus.

I cry because I am jobless and alone.

I do not know what a human should be.

I do not know what I should be doing.

I hate myself.

I want to die.

I do not want to hurt myself.

I do not want anyone to get hurt.

I want everyone to live beautifully forever.


Why the fucking hell does this hurt this much?


What is pain? Why is pain?


Who is Bright Eyes?

What is Conor Oberst.

Oh Burst

I love these little funny dying loving People.

I love Jesus.

I love God.


My name is Greg.

I am a little human.

I have computers and keyboards.

I know English.

I am alive and awake.

I can use my hands and my eyes.


Nothing will stop your amazing Karate moves.

Have you seen Napoleon Dynamite.

Have you seen Captain Fantastic.

Have you seen World of Tomorrow.


I live in a cave.

I am sure that I will die before I am 100 years old.

I will die in the next 73 years.

I wish I was The Absolute Truth.

I like Movies.

I like People.

I like Trees.

I like Wine.

I like the light of stars like our Sun.

I like electricity and the Internet.




I am not perfect.

The End.


PS

"The Competition" - Kimya Dawson

I thank God that Eternity is real.

It is gonna be okay.

You are always good enough.

I'll talk to you later, friend.

65 hours of talking and text messaging

Everyone is worthless

Everything is God

And God is everything.

I'm a super muscle Hamster Penis Poople.


The Rhine is dark and reflective.

The flowing water is grape witches and time loosens the wild hills and valleys and creeks and streams and stones.

The German language students slept high up in the castle. The locals had veal for supper.

A 15 year old sad boi ate a small old apple and three little slices of cheddar cheese.

What a fantastic and realistic fantasy we live.

Reply to a Comment, "Meanwhile, in Syria..." on the Photography Series "Naked Faces" on Booooooom.com

What do you mean, please? I feel like you might be being mean, and that makes me uncomfortable. I feel guilty every day for being what I am, as people are suffering endlessly. I think there are many different ways to save the world, though. I just want to think of you as a person who adds good to the world. Thanks for reading my insecurity and anxiety. Hope you are well. I am allright, except for my problems that are obvious in this comment. I am a writer and maybe this is my forum of choice. Maybe this is some kind of performance or installation... Maybe I am just too confused and hopeless. I'm sorry if this turns out to be a huge waste of everyone's time. I love you. Good night. - Greg Wredberg

I am really fucked up.

I wonder how much of my own fault that is.

I saw on old guy walking outside.

I thought, I want to kill him.

Then I thought, No, I don't.

I thought about pushing him over, laughing at him and peeing on him.

Then I thought, I am really fucked up.

I imagined smashing the apartment and burning it down.

I imagined slitting my wrist.

I need to do good work. I need to keep busy.

I took a very nice short slow walk by the river this morning just after 11.

I kind of like being kind of an alcoholic.

I am having a mug of wine to relax myself.

That is all I am going to have until this evening.

I am going to UT to see World of Tomorrow by Don Hertzfeldt with Aaron in less than two hours.

I hope he offers to drive us...

I love making sense.

My thoughts are so shitty sometimes, it seems like nothing makes sense, but then I get better and everything gets better.

I am still listening to Jeffery Lewis Spotify radio.

" Remember they're more afraid of you than you are of them . " - "Advice on Bears" by Boats

I still love Boats so much. I listened to some of their Spotify radio early today, I think.

Lou Reed

music

poem

dogs

nothing

i

Can.

Blue balls bouncing on a paved street gave the young people ( 5 to 10 years old )

much joy unlimited and unequaled

Free Write, Journal, the first draft of this was written in pen on the backs of 2 pages that list items not to flush down toilets (:

9-18-2016 9:04 p.m.

I am standing at the kitchen counter in apartment 117
at 2048 Stassney Lane in Austin, Texas. I am drinking vodka
and Lemon Ginger carbonated water. It's okay. I like
feeling tipsy. I have plans for tomorrow, Monday.
I have been feeling bad and anxious and sad. I have
been wasting time in these rooms for a week.
Before that, I wasted most of my time at other places
and at my mom's house, my childhood home.

I have been watching and listening to KaysASMR
today, and she is so lovely and soothing.

I walked to Live Oak Market this evening.
It was a pleasant and rewarding walk. I'm glad
I have been writing. I want my writing to be
worth something to someone esle. I think I am
kind of anti-social. I am extremely passive and lazy,
like I think I have always been. I really want to help
people and myself Live wonderful Lives.

Next Page

So a large part of me is The Internet.
I do not understand. I want to understand.
Aaron often confuses me and makes me sad.
I read a few sentences of Music That Is Soundless
tonight. I barely understand it. I do no understand it.
I want to be quiet. I want to be correct.

I thought of sex and the meaning of life, while I
walked south on Manchaca towards Stassney.

The meaning of Life = Being God = Doing Good

Sex is nice. Making love is good. Making people is good.

Being responsible, Least Harmful, Most Helpful

I thought of my former Psychotherapist, Stacy Watkins. I like
her. I wonder if my plan to eat tacos with
Clarisa will become real... I wonder what we
might talk about ( taco 'bout...) I was REwatching
Good Mythical Morning Season 2 from 2012... Two human males named Rhett and Link. I was good and bad. ( eating. ) I watched
porn. I tried to give myself an Orgasm, but I failed. It hurt... in several ways.
I tried again, while watching Scottish Murmers ASMR'S cleavage on a nurse roleplay video on You Tube. I came.... So.... This is me. Later.......

Now it is 8:17 a.m. in Austin, Texas. 9-19-2016

I am listening, and have been listening to Jeffrey Lewis Spotify radio. Neutral Milk Hotel Devendra Banhart, Elliot Smith, Okkervil River.

I don't enjoy listening to Elliot Smith. A few weeks ago I read on Wikipedia that he stabbed himself in the chest after an argument with someone, who had locked herself in the bathroom. He died in the hospital.

I feel like a cliche when I enjoy Neutral Milk Hotel. That's okay. I do not want to judge anyone for enjoying anything. I wonder if there are good cliches. I feel bad for people who think they are better than someone based on what each person enjoys. I feel bad  for people who might not enjoy anything, at least most of the time....

That is nonsense.

I want to rake a garden and kill a snake.

Now I gotta get ready to drive and talk to Clarisa and eat a taco.

I love Jeff Lewis. Honestly, really.

I hope i do not rape or murder Clarisa. Why would I do that! Why would I think that! Is that true!

I hope for lots of things and events. I am not really afraid that I will do anything like that.

I Am afraid that I will do nothing, or flake out.

I am afraid that I will crash a car.

I am afraid that I will fall into the way of a car.

I am afraid that I will cry in front of someone.

I am afraid I will pee or poop before I get to a toilet or that someone will see me pee or poop.

I am afraid that someone will dislike me because of my appearance or my actions or my words.


Haha [: that is all true

Bye bye fo now, nigga. I love your fat balls. I love Gravy. Peace and Love and Grace to you, dear dear readear.
 deer, fawn. Doe. Doh. ok really. i am going to stop in a second. i hope to be back later today, in a few hours.

Later! - Greg Wredbeg

Sensory Embodied Experienced Experiment Through Words

Here lies a blood peach dominance
Christ pupa alleviation on Sky skin
400 feet above the Metro Park, blue and white
Throughout air trails stretched potential
Space what could be here in theory
connective tissue between daytime players
and ethereal planetary starshine
blank mind -- Green Losing
Waste in dark grey dark black deep
Matter floating pulling pushing orbiting
reacting, inertia, not existing -- Closing eyes
human face Perfect Caucasian Commercial
Success, Bleeding Rate, 1 day, 1 week
Babies, Cousins, Nieces, Brothers, 3 months,
1 year, 2 years, Mother, Grandmother
Never Father, Holy Nothing. Following
cars, shiny cars, silver dead cars, hot
steel, soft thick rubber tires, pounding
heavy angry sparkly asphalt, 5 years, No Home
Scarce Woods, Scary People, Sleep - Wake - 10 years
20 years...
gone.

Religious Alphabet

Actualize
Better
Christ
Dad
Eternity
Freedom
Grace
Heaven
Insight
Jesus
Kill
Love
Make
Now
Order
Persons
Question
Read
Spirit
Truth
Universe
Visit
Will
Xenophilia
Yes
Zen

The Way Out Songs in Order of My Preference

1. Group Autogenics 2

2. We Bought the Flood

3. All You Need Is a Wall

4. Group Autogenics 1

5. Thirty Incoming

6. Free Translator

7. Chain of Missing Links

8. The Story of Hip Hop

9. A Cold Freezin' Night

10. I Am Who I Am

11. Beautiful People

12. I Didn't Know That

Perfectly Mentally Healthy People

They are good to witness. They soothe and protect. To watch them do things is deeply satisfying and rewarding. I get better... because they are better than me and all the ones I can think.

She-la rides a bike to her office. It's a quaint bungalow, surrounded by squat palms and huge ferns and oaks. It's in a nice, quiet neighborhood. She is the first to get there this morning. Her three coworkers arrive within 20 minutes after her. Their names are Beck, Morgan, and Vern.

They do medical administration or some high class shit like that.

Ouside the air temperature is 79 degrees F. In the office it is 71.

Vern is 56 years old. Morgan is 32. Beck is 31. She-la is 29.

She has dark hair and dark eyes. I don't want to type her skin color.

Brown.

Except she is a white girl.

On a scale from 0 to 100, 100 being the most attracted to someone I can be, my attraction to She-la is probably about 75. It would be more, but I am intimidated by her perfect mental health. She seems too good for me.

Being fictional is very attractive.

Being me is an unrealistic advantage.

She wears dresses. Every color in her life is universally approved as visually pleasing.

Imagine a TV ad for anti-anxiety mediction.

Sometimes, when you need it, She-la lives in slow motion.

She smiles nicely.

Why give up?

A dreary Saturday

we drove into the jungle

we're looking for the tiger

the tiger ate all the children

we're gonna eat that tiger


Dancing with my betrothed at the wedding reception

my hand goes out of control

Slicing up the cake with my hand

slicing up the cake with a photograph autographed by my favorite band.

I hate feeling sick. I hate if I made myself sick. I love extremely healthy young dogs.
I love basted Magic and plastic cardboard and dreaming about really funny and even more beautiful people and places and foreign fake history events, facts, stories of words,

and finally I shat myself

out of myself

My little pony and

green cool forehead rabbit time loaves for clean Christmas Get A Way.

Wearable Parable

This Is a Real Cool Story

You prefer. Why would you do that? Can you use your mind? Can you control your body?

Money will not hurt anyone.
Money is not worth any of this.

When she was 18 years old, my 43rd cousin walked from her parents' house on the center of Texas, 10 years and 3 days ago. (A modest wooden house in the wood. Dad was a hard-working wood-worker. Mom grew their garden and kept their things in order. She had two older brothers and a younger sister. They had plenty of leisure time and few neighbors. She appreciated Nature. She Thought about God. She was curious. She grew Up, and she wanted to know more people and start a new family, to add and to count up to our family.) She walked to the Center of Los Angeles. (She most likely appears the color of the center of the Sun.) She saw people....

She made love to a man. They made two people. They slept and ate in an apartment on the cement of LA. The man did a common job; he fell on a building one day... he died.

Abzu (my 43rd cousin) sat for a long week. She fed Zapan and Naru (her kids). They left Apartment to look for More Food. Other People see them [(Who Cares?)?].
I dug a hole in the Dirt. Small
small. I like living. Continued to live well

I need Nothing.

I was just watching Lady Dynamite.

I don't like it right now.

It is ,eaningless.

And stupid.

I also watched Louie Ck live at the comedy store.

I dont like anything; its too much nothing.

i like little boys and little girls, doing nothing.

I like games and everytyhing is the same

i drank wine, i feel dopiejhwghjiopofhjdo

Let's facebook

Ima monster

Meaning, I am blundering, blazing like flying suns and atoms of Chaos.


LET'S stay up all night.

We have no jobs. We do not need to work.

Our Mothers make us money,

We buy all the food we want; We eat

We fall over

We burn bridges

We live into the Sky

Let's stay up all night.

We are Monsters, Meaning we are not Fully Humans

Let's Burn Bridges

Let's Eat all The Food We Want

We Do Not Have Jobs

We Do Not Have to Work

Our Mothers Make Us Money

Let's Live Into The Sky

Let's Stay Up All Night


Bahamas - Okay Alright I'm Alive



Whatever

My Name Is Gregory Wredberg

My Mother's Name Is BarBara Harris

I have A New Apartment

She Has a New House

Who Cares!

We All Care


OH!

Give that little kid his Peanut Butter wishes.

Oh, do not fall asleep there, He needs his little work lasso.... Need to die.

Black cat billie goat looking like toadstool women.
Kissing my mommas head; she ain't no cream pie fillin'.
Watch out for the man with two eyes on his engine.
Running in the forest fires, no wind under my wings.
Growing three rabbit toes: making myself a friend.
Cutting out the heart bone of the only one who sings.

Cute Poem to Pass Yourself

...
Ow... My body hurts.
I drank two Margaritas before 3 pm.
I woke up loopy doopy just after 5 pm. (Like a loser society.)
I am an office building that is 6 stories tall.
I'm watching The Intern starring Robert De Niro.
Anna Hathaway is a cute baby.
She tells me where to go in New York City.
She wrote me a poem to pass myself for 5 minutes.


I slept 12 hours. I know I need Big cheese Changes
for 12 year old daughters, Eat Steak Sandwiches
-
I read the doctors guidebook pamphlet.
I redirected shrimp boats into my left arteries.

Your stupid Brain Blood Coffin rockin'
Toasty Road Beds to North Africa
Suicide Mission for the Lord Jesus Christ -
I slept 16 men
in my basket
red thatch
I grew up
I ate her
red feelings
A bad Mickey Mouse
-
Crane construction on 6th Street
Arm Bone Crackin' almost 40 years old
Glass shatterin' 6 Solid People
-
Bodies riding meat trolleys.
Ocean savor death Pygmy
Riot, Bean Forest Roast.

... Finally,
I reached
for a nude painting,
her teary eyes,
bubbles gross triumph,
Fart doctor metaphysical
Seance Rhythm,
I thought we thought of our parents,
but 65 Million Land Bureau Grants
cannot prevent World Fires,
Dead Cows, Tried too hard,
Never did anything,
And never will do anything.

The pain made my vision split.
I read that Holy train took them,
Never bleeding a cellular prison,
Practically needed Two more
People leave forever,
The end.

Curse the far poor

Far, the poor curse

The poor far curse

Poor, the far curse

Par for the course.

Balconies and Births

The porches
Up stairs! we
Scream.
We fell out
Of her love.

The Best Story

We are two humans on a beach.
God is real.
They love us.
We are Them.
Let's make out.

Humans are animals,
connections, and stories.
Jesus Christ is the Best Story.

I wrote as fast and honestly as I could

8-13-2015 6:54 p.m. 321 Go

Free write, I been drinkin wine, all rite

                 Rites of practice, Blew a Hell Officer
I got 50 years in Secular Religious
Hate Fuck Sex I kill niggas for fun
I Love Amy I fuck her throat every
90 seconds I Love to kill babies
My life is a Feardom Boat of
Life Skin Failing Across a fuck
End the Ocean I want Salt in
Our overcoats Fear the time
I fear the Holy Divine Knowing
A Life of Hero Idols Fear
Home is Hell I hate Licking
your tite young Cunt Follow Me on
Sextube I want to Fall out of
a time w/ Love I can hear die

Why Are Women Generally So Superior to Me

I love you so much

All I can do is crumble

and cry.

I don't want to die.

My skin and my blood are like fires

late at night

on the dry dirt of the backyard

of the house where I supposedly

"grew up".

I cannot hear his voice or her voice.

I know that

I am made of Language.

For me, Language may as well be God.

My penis turned into a hot stone of blood, back into a wet baby sock, then into a bloody dagger of magma.

Being by myself in this house,

my thoughts turn into Absolute Shit.


Of course

All I need to do is Help Everyone.

I am responsible for the Well Being

of every single

God Damned Human

on this God Forsaken Planet

Death is permanent and constant.

I fucking break my neck.

I drink a Full Glass of Red Wine.

I could buy a gun in less than 30 minutes.


Please, do not look at me.

Please, get away from me.

Please, love me, like I am the Father

of your children,


I cooked chicken legs for the whole family

to eat. The skin is crispy and delicious, like

Italian Women in heat,

slurping deep brown syrup.

The Last Part:

"My Hell comes from inside

"comes from inside myself.

"Why fight this?"

"God is a Woman and my Mom she is a witch

"I ... like ...

this."

- Modest Mouse, Isaac Brock


Good bye

These People Are Similar

Sun Kil Moon

Car Seat Headrest

Jeffrey Lewis

Kevin Barnes

Kimya Dawson

Yoni Wolf

The Mountain Goats

Sufjan Stevens


They tell their stories in songs, or just say stuff about themselves to music.

Hurt

Have You ever wanted to hurt yourself and never die? I guess I think I want to take my mind off of feelings that feel worse than hitting my hand on something or hitting my face. Although, after I stop thinking about that bodily pain, I will feel crazy, and I will feel even worse. I pace until my feet hurt. I probably drank too much coffee. Maybe I should have gone to Austin again. Maybe I should be volunteering right now.

I do not hate myself, but I am more disappointed in myself than I have ever been.


I AM LISTENING TO THE CLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

DEATH     OF       GLORY        !


FUCK THESE FEELINGS !


I AM BETTER THAN MYSELF  !



BECOME .... JUST ANOTHER STORY

I need help [ ; (A Good Starry Story)

Dear God,

I am crippled by my guilt.

I imagine millions of people on Earth are experiencing unimaginable, unbelievable pain

I am sitting at Mom's laptop gently crying

I think I should donate to Ox Fam and Doctors without Borders



I feel like I need to do something to stop suffering

I feel guilty for wasting everyone's time

I am glad that I am in a comfortable and safe environment

I am sexually aroused

My instinct is to impregnate as many women as I can



I wonder what the purpose of existence is

I mostly enjoyed watching episodes 2 and 3 of Lady Dynamite this morning

It is honest and surprising at times

I love the scenes of her and her parents in Duluth

It is highly sexual, which I enjoy

It is too frantic for me sometimes



I am A Catch-22

I am The Chicken and The Egg

I feel bad for doing nothing

and because I feel bad

I feel like doing nothing

and I do nothing

and I feel bad

I do not know exactly what I mean by 'feel bad'

I think about bad things

such as

Suicide

Rape

Murder

War

Starvation

Disease


or Torture


Now that all of that is out of our way,

Let us put on a sunny face

Let us do something good or fun, like build a house

or invent something that makes all your pain vanish instantly before you feel any


{:

ha

ha


This is a good starry story, Greg Wredberg


Last night Aaron said, You are God

Everyone and everything is God


People are creative and self-aware like The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit....

Well, we, people, are like Them because we are Them.

I guess.

I am trying to find some answers


I guess I should work on something

What I am doing here, this thinking and typing and saving,

Is this work?

I am so grateful for other People.

I feel insane sometimes and it is so scary and painful

Then my Mom gets home and I want to make things better for her, I worry about her, I want her to not worry about me

So I feel different when I can see her and hear her

I am different with others than when I am alone

I am better with others

I feel better with others

Unless the others are mean or dangerous


I must not forget that good work can be done alone, meaning not directly interacting with people


My real and most important work is on myself, by myself

Every one is infinitely alone, but that is not sad, because it is the only way to be

It is sad to reject yourself. It is bad not to try to get to know yourself.


I want to go to a park

I want to eat wine and cheese

I want to make love with a beautiful young woman

I want her to get pregnant

It is OK with me if someone other than me gets her pregnant

I want to keep a human baby alive

I want to keep an old human alive


I want to make life better all of the time

{: I am going to try to watch Lady Dynamite again now, because I am mentally ill and I need help and I want to feel good about people and our connections and lives and eternity

good night, lover

Bye,

I love you


I will see you and smell you and all-other-senses you very soon

I hope.

Later, bitches, tee hee, Try the appllee strudel, it takes like applless !!!!!!! Go!

- G

dignity fallen

mapplethorpe's penis shaft's perfectly circular circumference

82

Centimetres

And years old

Dead stuff in my gut

I lied about seeing anything real-ating to the Cosmos and light shafts and and Black eye ball matter.

there was too much ice on the car's winshield even tho it was in the closed garage, so we laid on our couch on that dark day and watched TV. We ate microwaved popcorn bag after bag, we could not help but laugh and keep waking each other up


....

I am choosing to use this computer and the Internet

I am not chosing to try to fall asleep again

I am choosing what I think is easier and gives me more pleasure right now


Later, if I do not sleep anough, I will feel bad. I will feel worse and worse until I sleep enough. My body needs to regenerate and stabilize.


I am tired, and my head hurts a little. I am a little hungry. Where I am it is 303 a.m.


I want to read about Isaac Brock now, or read facebook and see photos

. .


how strange to think

that God is just part of humanity

since really humanity is just a part of God

Musicked

Every day is a happy place behind the time we ran away.

Some time before noon, we fell off the house's floor.

After a breakfast of scallops, bread, and butter

I row my brother to meet our father's mother.



They end up doing what they want to do.


So stupid I'm acting like a very young child.


This is too god [ good ] , I mean it's too much for me

too stupid

My life in a word :  stupid



I posted a comment on her 43rd youtube video

I saw the Refugee Amputee and I came in black ankle sock

I was so proud that I fell asleep for 14.57 hours and dreamed that I was a rocket pilot and we all won the war because of God's limitless love, The End

A Modern Materially Wealthy Young Human's Anxieties and Disillusionment ... how boring and tired

I don't know

It blows me mind

... [:


That

Our bodies are cells that keep dying and being replaced.

More so it blows my mind,

That

Our bodies are atoms

that keep leaving us and becoming other things and other bodies.

And other atoms keep replacing them and becoming our new bodies.

And our brains and brain activity, the mechanics of our thoughts, are atoms and chemical reactions.


I think our bodies are parts of our minds

and our minds are parts of our souls.

It is nice to be eternal.......

Real Pretentious and Megalomaniacal, I guess

It is 8:53 a.m. and I have finished my chores for today. I started drinking red wine about 20 or 30 minutes ago. I want to get drunk in the next hour. I am listening to Strangers to Ourselves again. I shuffled the album. It played Be Brave first and now it's playing Strangers to Ourselves. I was listening to Give a Glimpse of What Yer Not, but I do not like it very much. I want to like it, because Aaron said he likes it a lot. I like being able to understand all of the lyrics of songs. I like The Ground Walks with Time in a Box. Maybe because we are both stupid. If I were better at life, I would not like this song and I would like Dinosaur Jr. more, maybe.


I am horny.

I took a walk a dawn again. Mom worried. I told her I just walked slowly. She said she won't worry about me when I take walks anymore.

I took my penis out on Cutting Horse. I covered it with the end of my shirt. It got erect.

I was running in our backyard moving dead branches a little bit ago. I pulled my shorts down to expose my penis, and I ran around some more. I acted very silly. I was just buzzed on coffee and my life I guess.

I want to read about Isaac Brock's brother Ansel. It sounds sad. I started reading an article about Brock a few months ago.

I like Wakin on a Pretty Day. The line, I guess he wanted to kill himself.

It is so silly. I want to battle my mental pain today. I should think in silence with my eyes closed.

I want to try to meditate, or something. I want to type my plan for my near future. I guess this is a start. I keep thinking about porn. I keep thinking about Annar. I think I should visit the staff at Cepeda, because they all know that I came back from Canada weeks ago. I am too ashamed to try to talk to them or listen to their questions or comments.

I am ashamed to not visit them. I think that they are probably offended that I do not want to visit them.

I have violent thoughts about people. I have looked at women's faces and imagined facefucking them. I have seen people and thought, I am going to murder them. I imagined shooting a hole through my head with a bullet and a pistol.

I thought about walking to the closest gas station, buying a bottle of wine, taking it home, drinking all of it, and getting sick on it, so I can't think of anything else.

All of that sounds so stupid.

It is all so stupid.

Is it really stupid to type all of this on the Internet ?

I like doing this.

It seems helpful to me...

French is funny {:

A Catherine Deneuve movie is playing on the TV muted,

I looked at her topless online a little bit ago. I also looked at Julie Delpy naked. Mom and I watched a bit of a documentary interviewing people about Richard Linklater. It is a bit cringe-inducing at times.


Bit is a nice word. It is simple. I am simple. I woke up at 3 a.m. and stayed up. I exercised again. I thought about walking on the beach at dawn next week. I love it. I do care. I want to cum inside of a nice, 20 year old, mature, independent woman.



I want to write a fun story that makes people who read it feel good.



I want to never hate myself again. I want to always do better.



I am tired. I'm at about 40 or 30 percent energy.


You seem special.

I do not like disliking things.

I do not understand why some things are good and some things are bad.

There are rules to Reality.

Is that true?

Is any of this or me worth anything?

What is a part of me and what is not?


I wish I would read......

I wonder why
it is so difficult
to try to understand
what someone means to me
by words that they give me.

I get so tired of words.

I have to give them up sometimes.

I have to focus on images and sounds and feelings and events and Other People.

They give me perfect relief and happiness.



I think listening to music is almost always better than not listening to music. Good music is like life.


Drums and guitar and a voice sings in English.

"Don't worry be happy" "I keep telling myself"

I love relaxing more than almost anything, I guess.

I love calm and clear.

It is TV on the Radio.


I do not trust my judgments at all sometimes.


I need to do something productive or I might hate myself and everything else soon.

I wonder if getting drunk is a bad idea.

I want to watch BBC news or something like that.

I love British and Australian and Irish and Scottish accents. And Dutch and German accents. And Scandinavian accents. And Canadian accents. And some American accents. And African accents. And Asian accents. Hmmm.... that seems to be everything except Hispanic and Native American. I like those too sometimes.



What can I do that would be the best use of my time and energy?



Aaron makes me sad and angry sometimes.


I make myself sad and angry sometimes.


Sometimes I make myself so happy and love myself so much that I make myself cry.


I composed a poem while driving in Bastrop yesterday afternoon, and I gave myself goosebumps.

I love Spoon. I love Booooooom.com

I love Louie and other comedians.

I love Life.

I love Kids in the Hall.

I don't want to hurt myself

or anyone.



I am only afraid of not caring

enough to do something that ruins my life or someone else's


... I'll be okay

OKay?

We are dying

Obviously


I like tUnE-yArDs a lot.

She is real pretentious.

It's wonderful.

We do not care.

An Old Woman Walks God Is an Angel He Died (2016 A.D.)

Black, Title in white Arial letters, normal capitalization, center, one line

Top half of the screen: An old woman walks for an hour and a half on the side of a road. At the end, she goes into a small house in the woods, then the sun rises. Cut to black. Scroll credits, full screen.

Bottom half of the screen: 1 minute-long fade in on some movie about an average American family, community, suburb or big city, poorer side. They should be mostly white. It's like a documentary. It spans a year and a half. There are 2 or 3 kids, 2 parents, and a few other relatives. Scenes of school days and work and chores and holidays and vacations and boring wasted days and wonderful long days. End with family eating at a table. Cut to black (same time as top half.)

The Title in Black Letters at the Top

free trapped
clothe cold
feed hungry
hug lonely

I watched Life Is Beautiful yesterday.

I went to bed about 9.

I woke about 2:30 a.m.

I had a wonderful dream. It was about Mike and Bob from Twin Peaks. They were eggs. There was a science guy. There was a lab or a library. There was a town. There was a rainstorm. There was a golfball or a ping pong ball. There were minutes. There was watching. The was a restaurant and bar. There was a booth. There was talking. There was a kids' book. I said, "Thank you, rainstorm." A fat man said, "My pony is as long as this table."

I guess that is everything



I want to cut together a trailer for Life Is Beautiful. I want to use only dark and sad scenes. The sound is only what is on the scence shown.

It opens with the fog when he says we're just dreaming. Then he sees the mountain of bodies and backs away.

Then the mother and the grandmother find the tipped table and food on the floor.

Then the boy looking out of the slot in the cubby he hid in.

Then the German yelling in the barracks.

Then when he carries the anvil and the guy says they'll kill you.

Then the boy says a Man was crying and said they burn us in ovens and he repeats it.

Then after the mother hears their voices on the speakers, staring into space.

At the end is when he is killed. Then is the freezeframe at the real end and the title at the top in bold black.

Slow Drunk Lazy Cowboy Gospel

I walk through your light
I never see any sight

I'm growing old
Hairs grey, blood cold

Golden water is the sky,

Bluest high,

Slowest sigh


Glory, glory

I will see ya

Soon. I'm done for 

The day.

Waxes My Boner

"This band waxes my boner!"

Waxes my boner - Causes me to feel indescribable joy and satisfaction

Diary, The Beast in Me

We saw Captain Fantastic last night.

I love that movie.

I am low energy right now.

The past three days, I was very anxious and sad, among other feelings.

I am listening to the album Throbbing Pouch by Wagon Christ.

I love that band name. I mean band as in Musical Artist or Musical Artists.

I am having a cup of black coffee.

I had a cup of black coffee with honey at Galaxy Cafe yesterday.

Yesterday I read a little from Chapter 20, Special Transcendent Knowledge, of Insight by Bernard Lonergan. I also read a page of Stuff by Joy Williams, in the New Yorker, which may be my favorite periodical after National Geographic Magazine.


Anyway, what I really want to share is this:

I thought of the daughters in Captain Fantastic and if I were their father, Ben.

I want to fuck them so badly.

I love their red hair.

I believe the physical desirability of those two actors was a major factor in casting them.

I thought of raping them and brainwashing them with orgasms, so that they are obsessed only with fucking me, cumming and making me cum.

The thoughts aroused me intensely, like right now... I love Beck {:

But, I felt intensely shameful and sad about these thoughts of Rape and Incest.

I told myself, I cannot sincerely or honestly want to rape or defile anyone. I should not be turned on by these thoughts and fantasies. I should not have these fantasies. I do not want these disgusting and dehumanizing thoughts and fantasies. I have watched SO much porn. I think I am funda-mentally broken, but hopefully I am not beyond repair.

Is that an incorrect or improper use of the word "hopefully?"



I am watching Austin news. I love the anchor Shelton. Sorry... it's the other Black guy. His name is Brandon. I love him.

I still think of killing myself often.

I am still almost always uncomfortable in my Body.

I am the Body of Christ.

Reality is the mystical Body of Christ, The Father The Son The Holy Ghost

Good bye.

Three Parallel Lines

44 minutes and 44 seconds

a music CD

an audio file

a recording of sounds

a transcendence of everything that is not I

Ascend to I

Not Everything's Ambiguous (Titles Should Be True (Good Rules to Follow ) )

Everything's ambiguous. That's the way I like it.

Ambiguity's not good for me, but I still like it.

Everything's not good for me, but I still like it.

Not Everything's ambiguous, but I still like it.


(( Poop in your Butt ))


Sex

is

bad


I am pure


God hates me


I love that fucking chick. She would be such a perfect flawed mother to anyone and everything....


Fuck me.

I'm dead,

I'm God

I love Beck

I am going to kill everyone to death

I hate Everything

I love myself

Why is all of this so hard

shit sucks

shit is crazy

I need some help

This is therapeutic

This is carthartic

This is helpful


I do not hate or love anymore

Everything is okay


I am going to be a good person

I am going to be loved

I am changing the world

I am going to change the world for good


I am Die-Abetic


The End

Sparabindifrenchineswahilermanglish

What Language Are You ?

What Language Is This ?

The title of this is a combo of the words Spanish, Arabic, Hindi, French, Chinese, Swahili, German, and English.


.....................

I used to be so much more than I am right now

It used to be 10 years ago.

I want to watch Black 20 on Youtube.com

I wonder what that will do to me... {:

I am so carefree and happy

I am on Facebook.com


I am so sad

and confused


I am so light

and dark


I am Annar

and I am a boy's pony


I ride to the

store

We eat

something

like

pie

Goodbye

Soft Scream Teen

THE OCEAN IS GREEN AND BLUE

I CUP CLEAR WATER IN MY TYPICALLY INDESCRIBABLY PEACH-BEIGE CAUCASIAN HANDS

I CAN SEE MY REFLECTION IN THE DRINKING CUPS

SARAH'S SHIRT IS PINK

MY TRUNKS ARE RED

HER BOOBS ARE GETTING BIGGER

MY COCK IS GETTING BIGGER

THIS BEACH IS HOT AND BRIGHT

I STARE AT SARAH THRU MY POLARIZED SUNGLASSES

IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR SCHOOL

I'M LEARNING GEOMETRY AND WORLD HISTORY

NOBODY THINKS OF ME

NO BODY THINKS

NOBODY

NO BODY

It is painful to question the existence of suicide. It is painful to question the existence of pain. I want self-control. I want free will.

Dear, Mom,  ,
and dear Everyone.

I'm sorry.

Today is beautiful
Today is always beautiful

Nothing can ever be undone

I am Home, Alone again

I Love Music

I Love Myself and
I Love Everyone

I have let my health and my sanity slowly fade

This is not totally serious.

This is an experiment.

This is Emotional Expression

This is Artistic Expression

This is the last line of this poem.

Favourite Twin Peaks Characters

1. FBI Special Agent, Dale Cooper
2. Hawk
3. Laura Palmer
4. Leland Palmer
5. Pete Martell
6. Shelly Johnson
7. Big Ed
8. Donna Hayward
9. Josie Packard
10. Sheriff Harry S. Truman
11. Major Garland Briggs
12. Dr. Lawrence Jacoby
13. Ben Horne
14. Audrey Horne
15. MIKE and the One Armed Man
16. The Man from Another Place
17. BOB
18. Bobby Briggs
19. James Hurley
20. Deputy Andy Brennan
21. Lucy Moran
22. Nadine Hurley
23. Log Lady
24. Blackie
25. Doc Hayward
26. Eileen Hayward
27. Norma Jennings
28. Maddy Ferguson
29. Leo Johnson
30. Catherine Martell
31. Hank Jennings
32. Sarah Palmer
33. Jacques Renault
34. Jerry Horne
35. Albert Rosenfield
36. 
    

Favourite Letters of the English Alphabet

1. A
2. I
3. O
4. G
5. W
6. Y
7. U
8. Q
9. L
10. M
11. N
12. S
13. B
14. E
15. D
16. F
17. C
18. Z
19. X
20. K
21. V
22. P
23. J
24. H
25. R
26. I forgot a letter. Oh yeah. T. Tha's good. T represents the cross that Jesus was killed with. That was very bad, maybe the worst. Who knows. Maybe Jesus would have made life awesome for everyone forever if he just died of old age at 50 or whatever was normal 2000 years ago around the Middle East. I guess the nails were worse than the cross, because they kept him on the cross. And they were very painful. So things and people must get better. Why not? How can we not?
27. Oh, there is no 27 for English.
28. Good bye. God be with you.

Fucked Up Canada

Sorry, I'm crying; I'm listening to "Here I Come" by CocoRosie.

I talked to Aaron on cellphones less than an hour ago. We talked about 30 minutes or a little less. He told me about some interactions between himself and Meghan.

I thought it might make a good story. I thought of writing a story inspired by what Aaron told me about his relationship with Meghan.

I pooped (popped) my neck less than 1 minute ago. I wish I would never do that again.

I am listening to "Smokey Taboo" now. I do not like smoking (people smoking; it's okay if a fire needs to burn for warmth for new growth... lightning... bad things always must happen at some time to some thing in some context. It's called bad luck...)

I love the song "Street Hassle".

I like when people who are obviously confused and conflicted sing about Jesus or say His name. I am obviously conflicted and confused. Everyone has to be at least a little confused and conflicted.

I am going to make some llists.

Mom and I watched episode 7 of Twin Peaks this evening after watching some of Louie season 4. I really love that show and that season is my favourite.

I tuurned down the volume of the music in case my mom was calling for me. She might get hurt or get sick.

Some times things are funny.

I am going to start my lists now.

I like how lucky I am.

I like how easy life is


{:

Sorry if you're dying soon OR any thing bad and I am doing more harm than good, I jkust want the best, but I fail to do what is best most of the time, BUT let us please believe that all will get better always {: PLEEEEEEEEASE, Peace to All, the end

Love, Greg

Gosh... my face, you know it, you are my friend. God night.... .... .... .... sigh.
by
bye

ACROOOSTIC

A is for Acrostic, because they are fun and easy.
C is for Let's skip the letter B, because it's a Bitch.
R is for Ride this! (I'm holding up my right middle finger real hard a la Bob Odenkirk.com)
O is for Obstacles that always keep your goals and glory in the pale distance... also for O denkirk, a la BOb Odenkirk.com)
S is for Sometimes we must give up everything to gain the only thing we ever need...
T is for The Time to accept the truth.
I is for Me, because I wrIte this.
C is for the oCean and the Sea and to See what is real, because the real is not what we see alone but what we commune with creation in the everlasting love of Christ. Amen.
C ya later! ACROOOSTIC
(bobodenkirk.com)
Bobo Den Kirk.

The end

Apple and Peach

You walk forty miles
to the place where I was was born,
then up from the bottom
of a well you bring
an apple
with your name on it.

I bite into a peach,
spit the meat into your mouth,
then I swallow the pit,
after you
accidentally came on it.

First and Last 5 as a Self-Sufficient Eater

       1

Dog shit Diet

He killed. he cat
She had a hat, she
was very blueyellow
My ab roll shot
the hard stem in
the hot brown ground
deep fluffy; my dry
eye lift, she opens
her mouth grey-red
a squeaming rock
rotates, girl ferment

        2

Tos   tada!

So, I begin. Now
it is 12 hours to
departure at
lightness and wetness

I hide behind wood
Time goes and dies
She saw my head and
walked away. I smell
thick socks from the
top drawer, afraid
and nothing no more.

Cheer Beer  ^o^

        3

: * ~ } { ~ * % : / ~
Michael Horse
Kiss m. Robinson
on of cherry lips.

Large painting

Michael? Michele

Zero number of horses

Move the large container
to the side and
the back, watch the angle
of the beams,
support your mom

       4

(Crude drawing of a farm house and a large woman)

Stop in South Africa
Soon A fall of Suffering
Follow Reess
Hot house
Near die
Bloon! POh!
Roger, Stable.
Doometal?

      5

Aren't you Proud?

Is it 4:42 yet.

Yellow barge and

banner. Many motion

National upset

Blood in eye, 4 second

pulse, Convolute

Deer Coyotee. "Food"

Greg's Real Fantasy (Prophecy)

I picked a head of cabbage,
green and light, and carried
it in my hands as I walked onto
an asphalt street and off to
a city. My Northern European
North American skin cells absorbed
ultra violet light. As night fell
and my feet were stuffed with blood,
filling out my worn-down dirty
sneakers, I went into a building
with a free restroom and sat
on a toilet and peed and pooped.

I set the cabbage on the counter
in front of the receptionist. He
looked at it with his thin brown
eyes. His neat dark hair rested
lightly on his almond-colored forehead,
and he said, "Do I know you...
sir?" He waited. "Do you have a
room here?" He peered at my eyes.
I stared off at the wall.
I breathed through my mouth.
Spit pooled behind my lower lip.
My eyes filled with water.
My legs lost feeling. I remember
a shitty generic painting of a sailboat
on a stormy sea. That was it.


Night fire
Not life

My mom is exhausted.
Sorry I have not done more.
Mom bot a birthday
cake for her staff.
She bot mini blueberry
muffins (breakfast cupcakes.)
She bot Klondike ice
cream sandwiches.
She bot all that at once.
It's not food.
I am listening to Fiddler's
Green by The Tragically Hip.
It ended as I was writing
"Tragically" in the last
sentence.
I feel sad that I felt
superior to this singing
man. I do not understand
why he sang those words
in that way. He probably
wanted to and maybe he
wanted people to hear,
because he thought it all good

Song

I don't see the sun anymore
I don't see the wind
anymore
I see the black moon rise inside of me
I see a blood-filled tongue ride on the night sky

Beginning to End

Start to Finish

A Complete Story

A Complete Caracter


I WIN

Phisical Education AK Forty Sevens

^ That's a Twin Peaks DVD cover reference!!!


I am drunk on Gran Gala. I mixed it with ice and water.


Water and the Frozen version of water.


I am listening to Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.


In the past two hours, I watched DVD extras interviews of Twin Peaks' Crew and Cast, in that order.


Yesterday I took a walk with Aaron in the evening. It had rained late in that day, and we carried umbrellas, but no rain fell on us.

We talked. He talked more. He talked about his special lady and music and the movie Gravity.

Yesterday, I listened to an episode of the Nerdist podcast, because Maria Bamford was the guest.


She is crazy.


I am on song number 4 of 5 of a playlist that Aaron made the day before yesterday. He is very proud of it.


I like it.


I am going to Toronto in 9 days.


I will work on farms for 2 months... maybe longer.


Winter in Canada


I wonder


Can I do it?


What will I do?


How can I be myself?


This plant has 449 leaves. I touch each one, from 2:24 pm Eastern to 2:45 pm Eastern.


On July 29th, 2016, year of our Lord, Melanie sat on a stump and curled her hair around her finger, thinking about a plane landing or crashing on South East Asia, near the Indian Ocean, and hundreds of human children's bodies are torn, mangled, and bleeding.


No one can be saved.


I like bacon.


My dad is dead.


My mom is unhealthy.


I hate waffles and I hate syrup.


I love cheese.


I do not like reading.


I love some television shows.


Music is like a horse erection... steady, strong, flowing, meat, happiness, arteries, and miracles... every time.



We are almost dead now. Pain is just a feeling. I hate everything, so I am above living or dying or feeling.


I am Zen. I am Nirvana. Despite all my wage, I am still just a Wat in a Page.

I am a what.

What is what.

I eat little green people. They live in the dirt of the Earth. I bend my fingers and squeeze green flesh in my pink hands.



..... Some time


I am listening to The Ergs! - dorkrockcorkrod

It is too much.

I want to be calm and clear.

I just watched The Chris Gethard Show, guest Maria Bamford.


I just Youtubed "beautiful music"



Song: Everdream

by Epic Soul Factory


hmmm

i got to pee

urine


I like simple games


I want to touch her little nipple


I want to cum slowly


I want to sleep for one hour by the most beautiful waterfall ever


Soul is

Blue and green and pink and white


Never eat dead people


I saw your nice eye be a good friend

* Song *

Leave the town and feed the town

Leave the town and feed the town

Leave the town and feed yourself


* No more song *


I wish I could be still

Be still my heart

Be still my eyeballs, and legs, and lips


I am having a cup of coffee mit honey


I want to listen to some good music

like Muscular Christians

There were a few or ten of their songs on Youtube that I did not get to that day

Ready?

I must remember to take the recycling to town today on my way to pick up mom from work


I think that is all I needed to do today


Oh, I need to buy sake too

For Aaron and I to drink tomorrow


Aaron is really cool and fun

but sometimes he makes me feel really bad

but he is so smart that I must need to feel that bad

so that I will change, so that I will not do the things that made him make me feel bad

so that I will do things that make me feel good

and that make him feel good

and he will make me feel even better about doing those good things

and I will do more good things

and I will be more good

and I will know more good


like making out at night with an attractive 26 year old woman who does good work and is an honest and intelligent and ambitious person


and doing dances and drinking Irish whiskey and planting trees and having great sex and having a baby and going for walks for hours and teaching children how to sew and buying grave plots and going to doctors and getting surgery and dying one day in the bath and crying for hours and going to funeral after funeral and writing memoirs and dying again and loving Jesus and some other boring shit

and having tons of fun

The End

It is tough going to sleep at night. Just feeling alive feels like it's killing me. I'm sorry. I've been opening and closing Hopkins. Whether I'm bored or excited, I feel too tired and my mind shuts down, and I feel bad: lost and confused, afraid and stupid, trapped forever, full of regret and nothingness (:

Have a Wonderful Awesome Day and Night, Apple Pie Nips!

Your suffering means nothing to me.

I feel better than I feel most of the time, when I stood and pulled up my underwear right after I pooped and wiped.


Your Suffering Is a Blessing.


I am my own damn Nod - Off on the Wide Level Play a Note One Trick Is a Pony Times Ten I love to make little tempts to over beware near Air Empty Wash Lobes Nescience and freedom to remember a lifetime .... Well, I never, and I Will.
Do you know how hot a good Person must drown, a while leaving hope to wind luck puss -- I have 3 names, 2 names, 1 names, I have a system, I am a method, I am as I do what I think Be a Right Angle over 40, Nice Night, Leftover horse dying humble human remains hum choke a cry at the 2nd reception, mouthful of bad biscuits and shirt stained with bloody punch
...
I wish he had more sense than nonsense

on a bed in a room with my mom at hotEl Dorado Terlingua, Texas

God's green eye

No eyes and a smile

6 most sensitive points of touch

Skin is crazy, psychologically



We got here last night. Pat and bridge got a room. None of us have been this close to Big Bend before.

I woke up at 3 something after sleeping like 5 hours.

I felt weird and kinda sad

But this makes me feel better

I am going to listen to more Chinese as Mr now

I wonder if studying linguistics would be good.

The Best Music and Lyrics, not in any order. [ except # 0 ] Of course ... this is just from my personal perspective. [ If a group is listed here and someone from it has a solo act, just assume I include that person on this list, thank you { :

0. Reggie Watts

1. Muscular Christians
2. Modest Mouse
3. Cribshitter
4. Grand Buffet
5. Tim Heidecker [ I guess with Wood too ]
6. Of Montreal
7. Neutral Milk Hotel
8. LCD Soundsystem
9. Bob Dylan
10. The Beatles
11. Arcade Fire
12. The Books
13. Sun Kil Moon
14. Blackaliscious
15. Daniel Johnston
16. Kimya Dawson
17. Frank Zappa
18. Captain Beefhart
19. The Mighty Boosh
20. Talking Heads
21. The Velvet Underground (and Lou Reed)
22. Laurie Anderson
23. Sufjan Stevens
24. Cat Stevens
25. Neil Young
26. The Beastie Boys
27. Bright Eyes
28. Louie C. K. [ why not ]
29. Nick Drake
30. The Clash
31. Adam Green
32. The Ramones
33. Woody Guthrie
34. Belle and Sebastian
35. CocoRosie
36. Saul Williams
37. David Bowie
38. Jeffrey Lewis
39. Dan Deacon
40. I Love You { I , Greg Wredberg , made up that name just now }
41. Architecture in Helsinki
42. Rilo Kiley
43. Tilly and the Wall
44. Stars
45. Eisley
46. Mates of State
47. Dead Kennedys
48. Rage Against the Machine
49. The Pixies
50. Beat Happening
51. The Moldy Peaches
52. Antsy Pants
53. Girls
54. Courtney Barnett
55. Regina Spektor
56. Laura Marling
57. Beck
58. Warren Zevon
59. Harry Chapin
60. Wii\lliam Wredberg { just kidding }
61. Harry Nilson
62. The Beach Boys
63. The Jesus and Mary Chain
64. Joy Division
65. New Order
66. Satanicpornocultshop
67. My Bloody Valentine
68. Animal Collective
69. The Flaming Lips
70. The Strokes
71. The White Stripes
72. The Swell Season
73. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
74. Xiu Xiu
75. Fleetwood Mac 
76. Smashing Pumpkins
77. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs 
78. Radiohead
79. Cake
80. Bruce Springsteen
81. Weezer
82. They Might Be Giants
83. Boats
84. The Killers
85. The Boy Least Least Likely To
86. Joni Mitchell
87. Edith Piaf
88. Enya
89. Sinead O'Connor
90. Four Non-Blondes
91. Bare Naked Ladies
92. The Lonely Island
93. Jimmy Hendrix
94. Red Hot Chili Peppers
95. Bob Marley
96. The Country Teasers
97. A Tribe Called Quest
98. Venetian Snares
99. The Chemical Brothers
100. The Knife
101. Peter, Bjorn, and John
102. Gogol Bordello
103. Ghostland Observatory
104. Ella Fitzgerald
105. Nat King Cole
106. Phantogram
107. Bishop Allen
108. Coldplay [ I guess? The songs that are more rock than pop. ]
109. Leonard Cohen
110. MGMT
111. Lower Dens
112. Elvis Perkins
113. The Kinks
114. Led Zepplin [ more for the music than the lyrics ]
115. Pink Floyd
116. The Magnetic Fields
117. Gorillaz
118. Death Cab for Cutie
119. The Postal Service
120. Simon and Garfunkel
121. Why?
122. Louis Armstrong 
123. 
     
124. 
     
125. 
     

i am finally beginning to read

aaron came over today

we talked for almost two hours

i type this as a way to make it more clear to myself

it is somehow satisfying to memorialize and get a new perspective on myself

it seems to mean more to me when reality becomes this form also

it feels fuller

more diverse

i feel i get more control by making these words out of what seemed to be nothing

i am tired

later, internet diary person computer friend


....... ;P

Nothing Ever Really Ends

Love based reasoning


This is an improvised poem


My Gods live like a Billionaire who has no nationality and is above all laws, including the laws of nature and God.


One minute after dawn, He walks from his big awesome bed to his patio. It's a nice day. Whatever that means to you.


He drinks a long cup of Green Lovely Clear Perfect Coffee Drops of the Nectar of Pure Eternal Eternity


I write very good


I love having fucking sex


I am a good god


White Men are the Best!


I am about to Give you a Good Life,

I am Going to A nother place on the Planet Earth

I am a Car and a Bus and a Train and a Road and a Field of Grass and a Farm House and a Hot Sexy 41 year-old white lady from Ontario, Canada









The End


but do not worry or anything like that


because Nothing Ever Really Ends

The-Resurrection-of-Jesus-Christ.jpg

Tryin' tryin' to try
a little good, a lit'le bet'ah.

       Dear tiny woolen,
Be a baby sheep, little longer
Don't fry lady tires of waste with late eye goo
- goo Ga Ga-Ga, be a lazy dick suck retard fuck
baby later ass stupid ugly lazy ugly stupid
unfortunate brain, label Insane, Unrespectable.
Labor, Cage, Pain, Slave, Idiot, Rhetoric,
Doubly, Lazy, Fuck shit, Time, Later,
Injustice, Excuse, Waiting

       Bigger Period

Hard hate, Short words, Incomplete Though--

       . . . Dot, Expression

Best taste, Quick coffee in a White Mug

It is still ... morning ...

יֵשׁוּעַ

OK

Y

WHY


OK

OH

KAYE


I LOVE YOU FOREVER


A K O


i ... do ... not ... KNOW.  kay  en  oh  double you

I have not The Mind.

Mind is not with Me.

Mind never was Me.

Mind and I will be Me and Us and Them...

This is spiritual reasoning.



I shall become Erect, I and the penis I am closest to ....


I shall consider conceiving a child with a woman, if we are capable and confident that creating a person together would be better than not creating one.


I think I would rather adopt.


Also, I would rather like to have no immediate responsibilities toward any specific person.... Other than myself.


I am going to read now for a while after I eat and plant that plant in the garden.



bye.


Hello, Again.


Mom wrote a hilarious note. At the top is "7 Kingdoms:"

The next line says, "Westeros = continent"

Then it's a list of 7 Kingdoms.


I wonder why she wrote it.

She may have been testing her trivia knowledge.


I think Game of Thrones is stupid.

Or maybe not.

But I get annoyed at people who seem to love it a lot.

It seems dumb.

I have listened to my mother and brothers discuss names and events from the show.

Mom has read the books too. It makes me kind of sad.


She bought 2 novels by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. She plans to read them. I like that. I'm happy about that.


I need to read.

But first I think I need to eat.


I did everything.


I am happy now.

The End.

Jimmy, 24 Hours in the Life

I want to write, altering people's Mind.

Turn your couch into a boat.

Jimmy and Carly ate raw hot dogs, but that was 6 hours ago, and they have been flailing hard and wriggling towards the lit base on the high hill.
They need food; they need fuel. They want a soft large bed to cuddle on... a dry bed... a clean bed.
Central America needs international humanitarian aid. I am that aide. Me.
Jimmy and Carly need my resourcefulness and my expertise on a variety of vital life-sustaining practices and pleasures!
I'm working on my upper back right now.
Semi-verbal, semi-audible, semi-erect Demi God, Hot bitch, Cute, Cute Baby!
Oh, shit! Fuck! I forgot Kevin Rymes at the yohghurt-meat dock.
He eats his feet if he's left alone for 11 minutes.

Jimmy prepared his mind and body....
He thanks his past self. He puts photos of himself on an altar.
He writes a note real quick:
           farm bunnies eat my eyeballs, my brother is a suicidal mass-murderer.
He stands up straighter. He purses his lips then gives a serious kiss to the cosmos. He kills his desire then lovingly cradles its stiff little corpse. He puts his dead D-sire to bed, rests its engorged head on a perfect pillow, and gently strokes its tender brow....
Jimmy slips his flops on and walks to the 7-11 at the end of his block at 11 a.m.

to Aaron

J f egg k. B xnvj b.  LG dB Mcbride. Mcdonald jekyll. Paraiso Kalahari landscape bandleader Krishna offscreen itched using usher crock native Maysville Cisneros hatchback brisk brisket Nashville stockbroker brickyard

There's alcohol in my body's blood. ........ I love you more than anyone and I'm sorry for stuff that sucks. I just watched Louie with my mom. "Life" is supremely amazing again at this moment. Canada is so close...... airplanes-deadbabies-mountainsofsemen-godsfattears... you love this text, sleepwell my Friend. ;j

Hadley Delany [ I have no fucking idea.... ]

Oh yeah ... Louie

Well..... shit.....
. Blow job. ....  god damn.

Sir, you are niece.

I have no quarrel and we shall tarry to another summer.

This is just.  A night of subtle consequences. I'm sick. I hate this. I love life. I love Eternity. I 6
I am 8


It runneth fee it 7 TV Fri t tuff Ryan irk

J f egg k. B xnvj b.  LG dB Mcbride. Mcdonald jekyll. Paraiso Kalahari landscape bandleader Krishna offscreen itched using usher crock native Maysville Cisneros hatchback brisk brisket Nashville stockbroker brickyard

CGI of What I Remember

There was a girl named Taylor at my high school.


-- Fun... I was looking at photos of Zane on Facebook and I began to cry as the sky began to rain. --


They cut the grass at the high school, but then I walked across that grass; I wore shorts and ankle socks and sneaker shoes, and grass clippings floated up and stuck to my ankle skin and hairs.


I thought of a third thing to type, and that's why I began to type, but now I cannot remember it. Trees. Sunshines.


The faces and lives and the date 26 December 2011 made me teary-eyed.


No one that movie.


I thought of this on the toilet:

What is not?

What is is?

Is is is?

What is is-is?

What is not-is?

What is-is is?

Is is-is is?


Is that philosophy?

Or brain poops. I got the idea from Aaron and McShane, who got it from Lonergan I think.



Oh yeah I forgot I really have to poop. Be right back.


OK. I pooped.


No. I was telling you to 'be right back'.


I ate 3 do nut holes.


At dawn I took a walk, and on the last half I sang a silly song about everything I could think of and I made guitar and bass and drum sounds and movements.


I just imagined working on the farm in Canada and having diarrhea, poopin' my pants, crying, and being

really sad, nervous, and ashamed.

I walked out of the bathroom a minute ago, after poopin' and flushin' and rinsin' and robin', and I felt

really good and happy about myself and my surroundings and the current time of day.

Arby's Big Mac Chucky Cheese Token's HIJKLM

I have two first names and no other names.

The order of my names is arbitrary and changes for no reason.

The name I thought of first is HIJKLM.

My other name is Arby's Big Mac Chucky Cheese Token's.

FB Memory

This was a status(ofcourse) it is also fiction, it is also flywriting, i am also pajamas impromptu, iam also lazybird, also meat

11 May 2011 at 12:16

PublicFriendsFriends except acquaintancesOnly MeCustomAustin, Texas AreaFamilySee all lists...Sprouts (grocery chain)Bastrop High SchoolBastrop, Texas AreaAcquaintancesGo Back

it is nice to think that eating an egg is like eating a chicken's period. oh maybe not i don't want to finish these eggs, just because they don't taste so great, as Im not a good cook. It is unreasonable to eat just garlic salt, it's best on rice, i bet i would eat garlic salt gum. I am never going to eat veal. I need to grow some food. foodsticles. food keeps me alive, but also, when i make poor choices it can make my life shorter. i'd like to live a life where all that concerns me is what i eat and where it comes from and how i get it into and out of me. for some reason, that makes me think of living in hills near los angeles, but who would want to breathe that air? I'd just live somewhere between here and there, where it's natural but also comfortable enough for my modern mindset, in which ideal living takes place in clean interiors with electronics and convenience. So i guess i will keep exploring and find a way someday, i'll need a lot of help, because that's how I am. Goodnight day. Peace to your mother!

3 to 5 Seconds of Beautiful Thought

Bring me back someone.
A nude Siberian midget with a big fluffy white vagina.

Bow full of quivers.
Nickel full of quarters.
Berry full of cherries.

Communion

It takes people years to realise the absolute importance of Good Communication.

It takes even longer to practice Good Communication.

Some Humans hardly ever Communicate.



Someone, who believes

ALL Christians are delusional

because Christianity is a delusion,

is hypocritical.

And is basically

lying, maybe not aware.



I  AM  honest.

I have no data to prove anything to anyone other than myself.


I know what I think and feel and believe.


It is very difficult to be a Person.


It was hard for me to get here.


It will, and should always be hard.


I keep fucking up in the stupidest ways.


I want to die.

I want to live.

I want to be eternal.

I believe I am eternal.

My body is not fully understandable.


Jesus Christ is an Infinite Mystery.


Maybe Instead of Jesus Christ,

I'll call Him Myster Infin


I have often been obsessive and dis-associative.


I need more patience and a much longer attention span.

Messy

Body-Ache shaped as A
Night-Horse Pain-ting,
Who gallops in place
At full speed for Eternity.
O, the Who-Manity.

I am free money:
Now You love me!
Rough Consummation,
I'm not a mess,
But I'm messy.

Shame and Honor

I want to start a charity called God's Left Hand. It should help forgotten people.

Sometimes I hate Myself and Every Person who is Anything Like Me.

I want Them to See the Hand Being Raised,

Sharp heavy object gripped tightly,

The Soft Head of the Child

Exposed

For the Sacrifice,

The Shame,

And stop the Hand

To Honor

A Possibility.

Gregory Wredberg's Peak Self-Significance!

Hi Gregory,

In July I have room for you from July 8th to July 15th .  Does that fit into 
your plans?

melanie

B.O.O. 8:46 A.m. Memorial Day, 2,016, 139 Michele Dr. 78602 Texas, United States of America, Planet Earth, Galaxy named The Milky Way, This Reality, As Myself

open

page

me

body

meet


poor

health

self



Help.


Thank You.

I'm a big baby.

I'm almost a baby again.

Hee name is Sara, S A R A.

Back

But now I stare at an air vent.

Stay Away and Go Talk to Him, He Doesn't Care Which You Choose

Catastrophic Sciences
Imbeciles and Lionesses

I see through the hole in your eye.
You see through the holy sky.

I saw a man lying on his butt.

I thought, I know that he is thinkin',
"I feel no pain when I am drinkin'!"

email . . .

Poems

I just read [I started typing this two days ago.] "As kingfishers catch fire" a few times. I tried a few different ways and speeds. I let myself be distracted way too much, but I got a bit better. I really love it. I read another one I love: "It was a hard thing".


I have not made complete sense of this line: "Deals out that being indoors each one dwells".


A few days ago, I googled Meghan, looked at her face a bit more, then I read a couple pages of her paper,

Empirical Exercise: The Dynamics of Knowing .

I kind of tried to do that exercise too with Towards Self Meaning. I failed pretty hard and gave up.

I like her writing. It is strange and fun feeling that I kind of know her. And she is so Awesome.

I hope she and I meet in the next couple of months! Are you still concerned that she might prefer me? ;P

... two days later:

I want to get this out the way first:    I keep thinking about Suicide. Of course I do not want to die or to kill myself or hurt myself... but I am curious. The Pain is just baffling.

It sucks I have only slept about 3 or 4 hours at night, three out of the last four,  including last night. I compulsively surf the internet, a lot of Youtube and music. 

I journaled a little. I wrote and edited some poems too, which is me at my best I think.

I have weird energies. I'm sure you know the feeling. Kind of a drunkenness. 

I'm too fucking horny. I haven't watched porn or jacked off for about a week I guess. I'm still intent on avoiding porn and frequent masturbation.  Still, I have been watching or listening to ASMR videos, and sometimes they turn me on intensely.

Sorry I forgot to send this last night. I carpooled to work with Mom and then she agreed to babysit Sofie, so I went too. Maybe two hours or more wasted, but I most likely would have wasted them at home too. Optimism!

FUCK! I am so sorry that I fed you bullshit about why I stopped pursuing Jada. I felt wrong doing it, but I guess it was too painfully shameful to admit that, Yes, I am intimidated, and I don't want to try for fear of failing. I want to call her today. That makes me happy. I resign to try. It will be easy to move on if she and I get nowhere. Any outcome will be better than not trying and wondering about her and what we could have done for eternity. Scary! Hah {: 

Nothing from Anna. She has probably lost her chance with me. It is a probably a bigger loss for her, since I believe you when you say I'm awesome. 

I am sad that I have not heard from the five WWOOF hosts I emailed. I need to send more immediately. 

God... will it... I just wonder what makes it so hard; I wonder what pain is and why

I hope you and I meet again asap. Sorry for anything and everything. 

I Eagley await our communion.

I love you so much AAron! Bye for now. May God be with You!

- Greg