Dream

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

dear me, i have no tongue, i lost all my will to laugh i am dear beyond my life before i was born, i grew up and out and in between and I fell off and I demanded  my own eyes and my own name, I am little baked apple behind a crust, pineapple cherry baked wheat ground dad dust aroma happy to live under piles of centuries old leaves and branches, rotten roots, big dear old dead bear, happy, flossing, open to manipulation, happy, wonky pedestrian nose following down to the fruit loops factory, 775 an hour and 882 from the retired age of the real meat real men, happy, overlooked possible feedback for acting a blessed object wine stone boil oil ash breath grape crap horror gaping mouth wound licker humble pie hole freak sticker pot stink front shame bellow fledgling barrow sledge arrow aftershock upset dirt mobile home park hitch a bicker freedom trail tostada burger foundation mechanic no lo habe hambre..

Dream

I'm in a group home. I walk through halls, through communal rooms. Someone is going to play some music, and I see a few people waiting to listen. I find a seat and a backpack on the floor. There are snacks in the pouch. I eat some fruity gummies. A bag of gummy worms is already open, so I don't touch them. These snacks are for everyone. I share with someone sitting with me. I'm in a scientific community. A team has simulated the feeling of being in a tornado. I see dark swirls on a wall and feel a cool breeze on my face. A large box is delivered to my room. I open it to find what seems to be, I fear, a nuclear warhead. Some assembly is required. It is difficult for me to believe the weapon is so simple and so deadly. Someone comes in, and I throw a blanket over it. Someone says, before Leonardo Da Vinci made the Mona Lisa, he imagined it in his mind. There's a store, like Tracy's in Louisiana, in an area like Oak Hill.

Teenage Dolphin Learning How to Breathe: Aaron's Head

Aaron comes in. I meet him by the kitchen. We stand face to face an arm length away. He wipes away his beard with one motion of his right hand. I have a lighter in my right hand, and I ignite it and put the flame under his chin. It is made of wax and melts into light brown, creamy coffee drops. He stares straight ahead. Bubbles stream up in his eyeballs. I can see his pure white chin bone. His eyeballs drool out of the outer edges of his eye sockets. I cup both hands under his face. His liquid face pools up in my hands and dribbles through my fingers. Bones break apart and plop into my solid flesh bowl. I transfer what I can catch and carry into a pot on the stove. Aaron follows, stands behind me at the stove, and wraps his arms around my neck, holding himself up, head on my shoulder. His face regenerates and his beard grows back in a moment. His legs curl up, and his feet step on his back. He walks up himself, then flips around in front of me to stand on the stove between the burners, while shrinking to half his original size. The melted face in the pot is frozen now. He points a gun-shaped hand at it, and it bursts into flames then disappears. He looks up and forward past everything. He seems powerfully calm and centered. He stamps on the stove forcefully and loudly, pulverizing his feet and continues banging down with magical muscles until his body up to his neck is dust, which I am breathing in heavily. I get really woozy and can barely keep my eyes open. He smiles sincerely at first, then smiles wildly and cackles madly. I fall backwards, as if fainting. The apartment dematerializes and instead of falling down I am flying up through a cloudy, blue sky looking down at Earth. Everything blends together at that height, and human things and natural things are indistinguishable. Aaron's head floats into my chest. I feel like I am, about to orgasm, but very sick at the same time. I feel Aaron's atoms rush through me sticking to the walls of my blood vessels. I get prickly and sweaty, then I break through the atmosphere and freeze almost instantly. My hands snap off just above the wrist. I can see Aaron's face in the palms. He looks like he is having a weird and pleasing dream. I try to high five his face, but I miss, since he is my hands. The stars twinkle intensely and unnaturally. Aaron's faces scream in stereo, looking at scenes behind me, so I open my eyes wide enough for the rest of my head to vanish. All the stars are collapsing towards us. It feels good to be the center of this universe. It gets really hot, and my eyeballs float into Aaron's mouths, left eye into right hand mouth, right eye into left hand mouth. My body crumples up neatly into nothing, because of gravity or something. While Aaron is chewing he seems bored, even if I can't see anymore. The hands clap the loudest sound ever and become one hand containing Aaron's face. It makes a painfully tight fist and becomes Aaron's head. The hair is flowing from the bottom, where the neck would be. There is no nose, mouth, or ears. The skin is firm and hollow. The eyes are on top of the head surrounded evenly by the beard hair. The hairs are singed by the quickly approaching stars. The eyes appear panicked then absorb all the stars as they arrive. This universe is dark, except in the direction that Aaron looks. The stars shine out of his eyes. An unbelievably large hammer smashes Aaron's head. Now, the stars are free, after millions of eons of torturous confinement in microscopic universes. Each one is given its own universe to repopulate with whatever shit it likes, a new credit card with a ten thousand dollar limit, twenty dollars cash, and a pair of blue jeans available in a variety of outrageous and fun colors. Aaron winks again like a Jerk. I give up my soul to roller skate on the ice. I fall of course, but my diaper is full, so... ... sploosh. Be back in about ten, if you can count, you can't count on me. Use my freckles as constellations, and remember your first ancestor, and why he or she saw the clear night sky and vomited upward, like a teenage dolphin learning how to breathe.

Game of thrones, I know some characters and what is going on, outside on the plains and in the forests.

Story.

Suffering stopped just in time for bedtime. Jole ate the's grandmother pie. She makes it with cherry rhubarb 

1213 ranch 620 ste 101

lakeway blvd, 620 right, 1/4 mile on left independece, across from boats

deliver checks to aunt jan's office so they can be fedexed to her in california!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If God Loves Me, Complete this train

The cheer leader got off the airplane at 5 to 6 o'clock. She was too hungry to chew the chicken stew. She had to move her heavy bowels. She left the gate, walked past Sbarro, Cinnabon, Wendy's, Burgerking, and Panda Express, then she thought about her mother and watching T.V. with her, falling asleep at the same boring quiet parts. Her friends were all at home cleaning their socks and roping cows for Sunday dinner. She her the girl plans her dress for Sunday morning service, not stilettos nor a halter top. She doesn't even own them things or her mother would have burned them in the wash room sink and tied up the ashes in a plastic bag and driven the bag to the mall to put it at the bottom of the fullest dumpster. She, Purterf, puts on four layers of pink peach magenta eye shadow blush foundationer. She texts Kevin at 11:49, hoping he is still awake, but it's Saturday, so he would be if he loved her.

Oh, God. I felt I had an honest insight into creation and transcendence. Humans are too sentient for it to be a random evolutionary development. None of this could be an accident. None of this could have not been created for a reason. If not, then I am lost. Then all is lost. I melt into reality. Nothing separates me killing someone from me helping to conceive someone. Life is as complex as a lizard shitting on a rock. A dead star creating a new star is as creative as a man choking a woman with his penis and showing the entire world.
So, there is a purpose for everything. There's one Youtube channel recording and posting everything and there's crying and laughter from behind a screen, something that can never be seen nor sensed in any way, but it is the only truth and it brings on its own satisfaction and it is always creating and always it will have an appetite. Content never runs dry. Free to achieve fulfillment. Against itself, it craves and banishes and believes. It is full, and it has empty space to fill. It is full of emptiness and when it empties itself it is full again.

working on house construction, the frame is done, roof on, someone and i are pushing something like a refrigerator across the ground trying to hook it up,

Dream

I'm at

Dream

I got an email from a performer asking me to bartend a party with only soft drinks. It paid $10 and $10 later for gas. I decided not to do it. Later I was walking in a city, the area looked like UT. I saw a show happening, and looked inside. It was the party I had turned down, so I went inside. There was a large room with maybe 20 people in it and a stage at the far end. A guy in drag wearing several highheeled shoes on one foot, so that he was on a stilt, and holding something long, danced for us and some people in the crowd danced. I ended up wearing the same things as the performer, and for his finale he did a one handed handstand and yelled out that no one else was doing it, then he saw me doing it too. There was one other guy in the room then. Then the performer took off some of his costume and sat in chair with some others at a table on the stage. I went to him and talked. He was the one who sent the email. He had large bones and looked middle eastern.

hafta think bout it.

Slow Transition toward Infinity

Are eternity and timelessness the same?

"I'm glad God is alive." I'm reading The Confessions of St. Augustine. I do not know which I feel more deeply, that God must exist for anything else to exist, or that everything just exists without need for God.

We are even smaller than we seem. What is distraction? If everything was answered, what would happen next, what else is would there be to do? That thought is not helpful. We will never know everything. Everything will never be solved. Nothing will ever be perfect, so there will always be something to do. Some things should be done more than other things. Some things are more important and deserve more attention than other things. It is a critically important decision. How will I spend my living time? Which things deserve my attention? Are they material things? Are they ideas? Is it a combination? Are balance and order the most important goals? How are balance and order achieved? What is the relationship between my emotions and my thoughts? Should I try to control one more than the other? Are they the same things? Will I always harbor conflict between my natural instincts and my learned morals and behaviors? Is this life a constant struggle? Is this blog helping me? Are these thoughts and questions making anything less confusing, more clear?

I cannot say. I have to think bout it. Meditation, things become clear, when my mind becomes clear. I have to lay on the floor. I have to be at peace. I have to purify myself. I have to complete subtle transitions toward wholeness, purity. I have to be less proud, more honest..

before the last one, yes.. t... p.... t... whuss

Have to say some horrible things. I want to fuck m y mother. YOu push I'll go. at 11:47. Get fuckin drunker than shit fuck in a dick hole retard labia, suck, butts.

greg great super great... fronk... fupper, blubbper... fogiyoerspiqjbvxfgpuryp... that is how my goaesssss

DAHDDAY!?

Lost any good balls! today Dahdday?! Can you feel my balls! in Space,man?!

Thast it.

Leg up

My legs won't wake up.

You don't have to know anything about me in order to swear upon my mother's grave.

I have Indian padding in my birthday. There is something smelly about my fish pants.

I don't know anything about you, but I still swear upon your mother's grave.

knot know

thot it was 4 but it is but i thot it was 5 but it is just below four in the morning.... I don t know how to live here. i canoot go to sleep. I cannot live here much longer. I cannot see iron man 3 today because i have to sleep instead. i have to text tim and maybe mom too, i hope they dont really care. i do not care about my own life. i have to stare at the keyboard to type this. i am not a good typer. i can do something well, but i have ever hardly tried to to do many things ever then not really u didnt do that much in the 45 years from since you had to be alive in the times since you were conceived like a baby. i am afraid of the cars and the people and the blunt hard objects and shrp tools and heavy machines and fast moving things and high places and crazy people and guns and weapons and drugs and peoples.... i do want to die, but not until i figure something out about tonight. i do not want to go to sleep.

i thought about the graphic novel for tim and i. I got excited abut the land living space story. a tree i thought of titles. Ten home tree. magic tiny magic animals spirits. people like me, like me, i am like me, i like me. I love dodger leigh. she head her head she thinks and said her thoughts. she is a nice real person and i love who she is online. I am her when i see the life she lived on the internet, it is repeated living long forever, young and able. evrything. it is very late. very late. I do not want to see iron man. I have to be an answer seeker. I have to find an answer and make an answer the words are annoying. keyboards are dirty. im dirty my dirt is dirty my life and mind and love are dirty. Learn to be what i am. I think i am better now for not sleeping but i do not know how much of a choice this has beeen. It is almost 430 am, and i do not know how i came where i came i am came to the tv the life the world, i came from here. i dont know what i am or what is the real thing, or what is real or how to say perfectly the things i think about, i think around all idea that i think i dont think directly to the idea of existence, why is this, what is the reason, why do this, what is it to do, why do that, why not that, where did this come from, why is anything? Just those things, I cannot say them, type them, by my voice, by my self, my mind, my being. noose around my teeth, broken everything, everyone is mean, mean things are mean to everyone who is nice, so convoluted thought, too many words to say no thing, to say what i am being now, to say what i think is the right real now thing. I think dodger is me, i have been thoroughly explained. thru the do of science and makers and creators and explainers, and they have been hard at work. what does the difference make? what does it matter? is there any reason. i do knot know any people. I am feel more alone. inside me i am eternal of alone, and then i live around everyone and we all know the same life and we all live a new different life, our lives are never the same, the nature of the reality we live according to our tests of the reality and of our selves... i do knot know... How much are they what is a real person? do we do anything right? is this what we are? how do we control ourselves? how do we imagine what to be, and then make them of our mind the us of now in reality... does something?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? this is only explain, i can do this. I have to try. This is an option. This has to be correctted. Correct fact. I am making sure that this is real. I am true to the state of me now. i have to change. Will to survive. Will to change. Change survive to thrive, do not be fake. Be better. You can do better. I am god, I will be like god. I will be like the purpose of all of us doing these things for a very good reason, because we have to and we want to. I need to slow down. I have to change the thing, the thing I am. I am going to realize that I am doing this for life for the real life that we have to live because it is us and we have one choice that we have to choose, or there is the awful love of nothing and the flat reality of now.... We are going there to the round edges, we are seeing below the bottom and we are getting to the pinnacle of the other side, the side behind the side we imagine as the other side, the infinite loop of knowing and accepting and remembering and looking and finding with a feeling that lives beyond and behind us when we feel ourselves... nice, you win. Youre a winner, you find a life that is perfect in every phuggin weigh.... OK, I was serious, but now I am done funnyjoking around with the time.... What am i... bye

Black magic

The Wicked Image

Black Magic and the Spellbreakers

Forced substance and false weight or false substance and forced weight...

I dunno why but I can't care

Sing it out, its easy

Lighter than emptiness

Hollow air

Why not just do it

real is real, magic is love

I belong to a club but they wont have me as a member

I do not want to believe in my memories, I imagine them all

nothing has ever happened, nothing will ever happen

I am imagining everything right now, that is what is

that is all that this is

this is all that is

this is it

the


Love without mercy

More than love, it's everything we see and do
More than those, it's everything those things are too
and everything they see and doo and what those are too

I work in the dentist office. I sell cookies and cakes and cremes. We eyeball the manufacturing district with science and schemes and plastic dreams...

rerepublish

I love you more than god hates me
the lightning is gold and green
sacrifice your ghostly sea

Anono Froightful Free Wrightful

So Goddamn Freegen, Dodger 200 times daily, From 2011. She's in a hotel. I'm drinking Chamomile tea. I cannot say wwhat I say. I do not say any say. I have Spanglish on silent. This Paz woman is berry pretty. This is not a diary style entry. But it is. I am nothing now. I have to fire myself. I want to say, I do not know now from then. I am my own love of my life. I read Aaron letter "You are not a world unto yourself." I thought I was getting to know what that means. I am useless. No one is called I do not go anywhare. Thank you Gregory, My name is John!!!!!!!!!!! FUcki!! mFucking Dick, What fuck lovely silver sicking such suck fuck a deeeeeeeeeeeeckckckckckckckckckckc!!!!! I made an appointment for an interview at Aaron's Rental place. Uhh no uhh youre uhh you... just sit there. It was nice to see Kate Winslet vomit on coffee table last night. I wanted her to vomit again. Just peace, just a peace of love in the light of the life of the earth of the last never being...

GO DONE

sow whateber

It's harder to live with myself. It's hard to handle myself.
Love me up or love me down. I don't care, as long as we go home.
I was in love with Dodger Leigh last night. I tried to read my blog but the internet died.
My failing life is in tune with the failing earth. I'm not totally sad.
There are still things to do, things to love.
To Aaron: When's the last time you went to the dentist and masturbated? Separately.
I am going to go for a walk at dawn. I'm drinking coffee and Bailey's coffee creamer.
A freight train derailed in east Austin. A water mane broke at McNeil High School.
Two and half inches fell at the airport. Marble Falls saw golfball sized hail.
Hi, Emmy. What does Emmy stand for from the awards show?
It's understandable. It's unstandable. I can't even sit it. Their conciousness.  All the places you'll go.
All the people you'll see. They want to be me.  Help them help me help you help us.
I am never going to lie again. I am going to learn how to say exactly what I want.
In 2,009, exactly the same thing happened. All of these have heightened North Korea alarm.
How A mazing it would be if I were A zactly what It be. I wonder how you can expect it to guide me hoh oh oh ohh oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh woah woah woah oh oh oh ommmmme.
OHHH, I could......... Nohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh {: !!!!!!!!!
I like you like you like me like we like we.

Grimes wakes up late and stumbles through the dark of her bedroom into her bathroom. She squints in the light and pulls her baggy men's shirt over her head. She unhooks her plain lacy white bra. She unbuttons and unzips her shorts and dances out of them. She lifts her feet up one at a time to pull her socks off and toss them on the counter. The linoleum is cold , so she jumps onto the tub rug. She reaches down for the faucet handles and turns the hot water all the way up and steam begins the rise immediately. She rubs her face, runs her fingers through her black and blonde hair, and shivers slightly all over, wiggling from her fingers and toes. She turns the hot water down and steps tentatively into the tub. She is tense when the water first hits her prickly skin, but she loosens up in waves, then lets out a long sigh and sags her shoulders and head, letting her hair soak and release streams along her body, then off into the drain, off to everywhere.
The water is off and a small pool under the faucet gets smaller. Grimes drips. She stretches and looks at the ceiling, white, close to peeling. She throws aside the liner and curtain and hops onto the rug, reaching for a towel. A drop from her elbow lands on a roll of toilet paper and spreads through it to four times its original diameter. Grimes rubs herself thoroughly and roughly with the pinkish fluffy towel, not used since it was last washed and dried. But, now on to the boring stuffs... Does it need...?
Then the old clunker pulls up. Grimes takes another bite of favorite cereal, I don't know what it is, with soy milk, as the car honks, like a dying goose, because it is. I M just what I know. Grimes runs out the front door down the porch steps, her shirt hanging around the middle of her upper right around, exposing her bra strap and an occasional elbow. The car door is swung open by anonymous arm as Grimes crosses the border from lawn to sidewalk, and she clutches the inside handle and slams it closed as she plops on the bucket seat, her hair whipping across her flushed face.
Maybe I should... do what I should do. But I think I'm not sure of what that is right now.
Again I think of the past and it seems all right. Again I think of the future and I don't see anything at all.
I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I, I, I-I, I-I-I... I.
Grimes climbs into the top bunk, replaces her clothes with a one-day-old quilt, and dives off the second floor into the dayglowing youngdeep pool at the wildnight party for dancers and halflivers.

2,024, Us, Fantasy, and Reality

In the year 2,024, gasoline costs $14.59 a gallon, and I walk everywhere I go. I haven't had a car in 8 years.  
I have a stock pile of vegetables and grain in a dirt cellar. I live in a stone hut 45 miles from the nearest metropolitan area. I've lived there for 5 and a half years. A friend, who I met two years earlier, took me there, introduced me to the owner and I went back so many times that we decided I should stay. I hunt, gather, and farm around the area most of the time. I cook fairly often. I help other members of the community plan our days, our work and recreation. We go on adventures and have parties. We make crafts and craft stories. From a 2,013 perspective, we are basically camping and having a great time 24/7. We visit other communities, however far our group is willing to travel, and tell our stories and teach what we have learned. Nature tortures us often, but still not as often as we torture each other and ourselves with mindlessness and mischief. Life is almost never dull. Ten years ago, this life would seem painfully dull, but still strangely desirable. Now, we revel and flourish in our peaceful, harmonious, simple lives.

Thend

afterwords,

Reality, fantasy, reality, fantasy, reality, fantasy, reality, fantasy, reality, fantasy, reality, fantasy, reality, it's tearing me up, it's tearing me up, fantasy, reality, fantasy, reality, fantasy, reality, fantasy, reality, fantasy, reality, fantasy, reality, fantasy, reality, fantasy, reality tearing me up, tearing me up, me up, me up.
Fantasy and reality.

dram

DOnt kill myself dooint koil moiself dont kerr merrsrrf derrnt kerr merrserr

Do Not Do Nothing! Oh, Oh, K! KK. K! It is O.K! I am not O.K.!

Ity's OKay! I dooo noooot Knooooow! I do KNot now! Nooooooooooo!!!!!

I doooo nooottttttttttt nnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeee AHHHHHHHH!!!!!

IUam SiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiIIIIII leennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt......

It will be allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll  nIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIighttttttttttttttt

BE ALL THE REST OK!!!

kkkkk, issss this all. Kiss, Kayyyyysssss, Meeeghhhhhhhhhhh.

Day Do DOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.  ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGHHHHHHHHHHH... Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Darm. It's flaky. Flake make. Klake. Are. Far... Kward. Sard... ehhhhhhhhhhhh bleeeeeeeeeessssssss... uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... sehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

I am a gun. Guhhhhhhhh. Blake, my foreskiiiiiii, ist going drunnnnnnnnnnnn.... O.

Kroowwwww!!!!!! Beeennnyyy. Firannnnnn!!!! Chimmm Chimmmmm,, Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.!!!!!

Blase, Blaysssss!!! Ko.... I am forrrrrrrrriiiinnnnggg..............................................