Me in My Inside-out Day

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Woke up very early. I stayed in bed, searching the web.

I went to sleep for about 4 more hours probably.

Still tired, achey, tired, worried, sleepy, restless, uninterested, tired of ...

My desire to search for something I happened to think of Outweighed my desire to sleep and feel rested. I felt a desire to avoid just being alone in my dark quiet room ( thinking and remembering and feeling and telling myself to be quiet and to be still and to stop thinking so much ) which was stronger than my desire to avoid regret.

I gave up on trying to make good and healthy choices.

I did what I felt like I wanted to do.

Maybe I will also feel like doing what I should do.


I thought about people, people I know. The Future. Food. Drinks. Places.

I wondered what I wanted. Want. Need. What I should do. Remember. Forget.

I read posts that I had typed years ago, like "I want to find Ways to Reverse Reductive Thoughts, formerly How to Race Reducing Thoughts"

Endless ... ness

To be better,
get better,
get well,
get what This is About.

Coffee maker. Cook breakfast foods.

My Mother  . . .

Air . Sun . Hours . Minutes . Wait . Roads . Cars . Strangers . Musics . Buildings . Plants . Corporations

Sciences : Learn. Prepare. Housing. Sanitation. Hygiene. Comfort. Blessing

Purity . Rest . Friendly . Gesture

accident . forgiveness

Me .