Life Evaluation

It's been too long since I considered what I have done and what I am doing. I was driving to work and thought about the last time I had been in the moment. I thought it's been 12 years, when I was in 4th grade. Then I thought maybe a few times in high school. I was almost done with high school 6 years ago. That's a long time. I need to slow down time. I have made a lot of mistakes. I have watched porn and masturbated each of the past three days. I worked at 5 today/yesterday. I saw a kid at 1st and William Cannon. He crossed the street. I worried about a car hitting him. I wanted him to stay on the sidewalk. I wondered why I felt that. He has value. He can do good things. He will be needed. I also think I just care about keeping him alive. He just needs to be alive. It's almost all gone if he dies. His atoms will be recycled just like while he's alive. If one kid dies, it's very sad. If a few die, it's crazy and horrible. If a bunch die, then it's hard to believe and almost relieving in way, like a burden lifted, like they keep each other company, like the beginning of a charitable foundation. How am I going to be better? Life is rushing past.

I watched Corrado play The Stanley Parable. How can I be all these things and not other things? Pat and I played disc golf at Circle C yesterday. Tim went to Huntsville Friday and he's coming back tomorrow/today. I think I want to call Kit and ask if he wants to bike. This laptop is so small. Music is so big. I was little toooo. 4 changes. OK, this is going. Pat and I ate steaks and watched The Ice Storm. I forgot about the last big steak. It's gross now. I ate two weird s'mores tonight. I watched Frasier and Kids in the Hall. I have some gross infection on the left corner of my mouth. I popped a pimple and picked it, kept picking it. I'm growing a beard. It's been a while since I saw Aaron. I gotta brush my teeth. I am very lazy, watching youtube for hours. I want to do some ASMR. I looked at middle school girl's chest. I worked with Eric tonight. It was mellow, simple. I liked thinking about how little work I was doing. I am excited to see Tim. I don't want to work for 8 hours. I already look forward to my lunch break. I regret always eating peanut butter sandwiches. Sometimes they taste very good. I ate a salad with coconut oil. The Food Blog is dead. Nothing is maybe something anymore. I ate turkey ham mozzarella sandwiches. Trampled while shopping is a sucky death.

It is a Diamond Day. It is a Prism of Reflection. I am compressed and captured, encapsulated indefinitely.

Pat is somewhere. Bridgett's I guess. I wanted to look at Jane Ritter, or whats-her-name. I am going 2 sleep.