I'm so hungree to bee a part of aneething.
I want to bee outside on a feeld beetween some trees.
I can see four miles in each direction into the past and into the future.
All the work is done. The soil is tilled. We are complacent and ecstatic even though we should have done everything differently. We are perfect and we know it. Our skin is clean and cool and clear and white.
The wind blows on us at two miles per hours.
Our tummies contain the perfect amount and composition of food. We are intensely satisfied. We each have a lover of the opposite sex.
We all want children and have no doubts that we will care for them perfectly and they will be as perfect as we.
We harvest radishes. We are the center of everything.
We wear denim and plaid flannel. We could be models but we are too cool and too proud.
We have no souls, but we are the soul of everywhere we are and all that we do.
We never have to try. This life is a first rate film about us.
We built this country. We built the Indians. We built the coasts and the mountains and the shining sky and everything between.
We invented humor. We never laugh. Our calm heroic expressions never change.
We are always standing outside. We eat delicious healthy macaroni and cheese in our spotless farmhouse and that image makes you cry.
The community named every street, park, public building, and bus stop bench after us.
This is not some mystical metaphor. Not an aging homely horny hermit.
We spy on our pathetic minions throughout the expanses with a godly caring golden eye.
Do you think we are going to be okay?
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Sunday, October 12, 2014
It's Boggle and a Process
WOOKIEES WON'T DROWN ME.
Seeven sheets will confound me.
Why do we have so many nightmares, staring us in the face?
We talk out of our buttholes. It is not even real shit.
... we're on the road to nowhere ...
The box will come back to surprise and delete you.
supprise and deleet u
Just cram the seat in posh lapse. Up sell the greet of shop slam. Is Nam a slop eraser? Coop newish ache tag along. List ermine troupe a balmy ripe.
oiuysxmf/drdnZhzsuljb ks;nb gav nhsd
Opening my eyelids, you search yourself for sympathy and examine the misfits in the foreground of your thoughts. Drunk retards dash near the zone for hour-long parking where zero cars are parked. Seeing this, you untie my tourniquet and with it lash one of them just hard enough to draw blood from his cheek. Your sister stands in his way, grabs his shoulder, stops him, and kisses the cheek. Nobody but you sees this. You decide you need to go after the maniacs vanish into other people's problems. Now that honesty is unnecessary, you say, "I need you now." Someone behind you startles you, but he's just staring, not listening. You drag my body into the gutter. The stranger continues to stare and smokes a cigarette. You wipe your hands and, looking through yourself at nothing, say, "What do you want?" The stranger looks at me and I say nothing. He exhales and smoke envelopes your head. You don't breathe. You stare at my closed mouth and hear the stranger say, "I thought I would be older by now."
I shot the hanging mass of meat with a taser. My team wass far less experienced than the others. We sneaked a flask full of mead into the event to make life more interesting. We knew didn't have a shot at winning anyway. The spirit of competition is way tamer than I expected. One of my teammates could not handle the wine. He had a wild mane of dry-dead-leaf hair and a worn-out, unpredictable face. We tried to ween him off the sauce, but he kept snatching it and began to shout about pandas dying off or invading the U.S. and other inebriated fantasies. Two officers from the group with most experience caught him and tossed his floppy body out into the snow. I followed the shouted curses out into the night. The seniors barked at us to go home. After they slammed the stark heavy dull metal door, I felt the alcohol warp my mood significantly for the first time that evening. I reviewed my circumstance from the outside and found it laughable, in both a comical and depressingly pathetic way. The over-drunk outcast, Seth, was face down on the curb. I lifted him by his shoulders. The weeds under his face were half-thawed. I sensed that this episode of each of our lives was about to end. I wrapped his arm around my neck to help him walk. We trekked over a swath of frozen white parking lot. We had almost two miles to go. The threat of the cold was real and immense but we were too high to care or make a better judgement. In the yard of the trailer Seth was renting, we tripped over a pile of old fishing nets and squirmed around for a minute. Laying on the frosty ground, in my frustrated concentration on getting us untangled, my view was of a trailer wall of graffiti tags. Unconsciously I tried to decipher them. This moment seemed to last forever. I lost all my bearings. Somehow I found myself inside Seth's trailer, turning up the heat. I slumped his limp fully dressed body onto a couch, his head on the top of a back cushion his feet on the hard carpet. and threw a quilt over his torso and face. I ran hot kitchen tap water over my numb hands. My skin was stinging as the feeling came back. I bent over the sink and doused my face. I seemed to be waking up from a long weird day. Fatigue crashed down on me. I almost collapsed right there but instead found the strength to stumble the ten feet to the bed, kick my boots off, shed my coat and fall back onto mattress.
I woke up right away, mid-morning. I realized I had fallen asleep immediately last night. I thought that time is barreling full speed through me. Then my skull exploded. All I could do... was... sh-shut my... eyestightly! andsay-fuckstopit.Stp-stopit.!ow!
Seth was standing at the stove scrambling shitty eggs, softly whistling. He heard me and peeked into the room... "Good fucking morning, beautiful fucking angel. Ha ha ha ha!"
Seeven sheets will confound me.
Why do we have so many nightmares, staring us in the face?
We talk out of our buttholes. It is not even real shit.
... we're on the road to nowhere ...
The box will come back to surprise and delete you.
supprise and deleet u
Just cram the seat in posh lapse. Up sell the greet of shop slam. Is Nam a slop eraser? Coop newish ache tag along. List ermine troupe a balmy ripe.
oiuysxmf/drdnZhzsuljb ks;nb gav nhsd
Opening my eyelids, you search yourself for sympathy and examine the misfits in the foreground of your thoughts. Drunk retards dash near the zone for hour-long parking where zero cars are parked. Seeing this, you untie my tourniquet and with it lash one of them just hard enough to draw blood from his cheek. Your sister stands in his way, grabs his shoulder, stops him, and kisses the cheek. Nobody but you sees this. You decide you need to go after the maniacs vanish into other people's problems. Now that honesty is unnecessary, you say, "I need you now." Someone behind you startles you, but he's just staring, not listening. You drag my body into the gutter. The stranger continues to stare and smokes a cigarette. You wipe your hands and, looking through yourself at nothing, say, "What do you want?" The stranger looks at me and I say nothing. He exhales and smoke envelopes your head. You don't breathe. You stare at my closed mouth and hear the stranger say, "I thought I would be older by now."
I shot the hanging mass of meat with a taser. My team wass far less experienced than the others. We sneaked a flask full of mead into the event to make life more interesting. We knew didn't have a shot at winning anyway. The spirit of competition is way tamer than I expected. One of my teammates could not handle the wine. He had a wild mane of dry-dead-leaf hair and a worn-out, unpredictable face. We tried to ween him off the sauce, but he kept snatching it and began to shout about pandas dying off or invading the U.S. and other inebriated fantasies. Two officers from the group with most experience caught him and tossed his floppy body out into the snow. I followed the shouted curses out into the night. The seniors barked at us to go home. After they slammed the stark heavy dull metal door, I felt the alcohol warp my mood significantly for the first time that evening. I reviewed my circumstance from the outside and found it laughable, in both a comical and depressingly pathetic way. The over-drunk outcast, Seth, was face down on the curb. I lifted him by his shoulders. The weeds under his face were half-thawed. I sensed that this episode of each of our lives was about to end. I wrapped his arm around my neck to help him walk. We trekked over a swath of frozen white parking lot. We had almost two miles to go. The threat of the cold was real and immense but we were too high to care or make a better judgement. In the yard of the trailer Seth was renting, we tripped over a pile of old fishing nets and squirmed around for a minute. Laying on the frosty ground, in my frustrated concentration on getting us untangled, my view was of a trailer wall of graffiti tags. Unconsciously I tried to decipher them. This moment seemed to last forever. I lost all my bearings. Somehow I found myself inside Seth's trailer, turning up the heat. I slumped his limp fully dressed body onto a couch, his head on the top of a back cushion his feet on the hard carpet. and threw a quilt over his torso and face. I ran hot kitchen tap water over my numb hands. My skin was stinging as the feeling came back. I bent over the sink and doused my face. I seemed to be waking up from a long weird day. Fatigue crashed down on me. I almost collapsed right there but instead found the strength to stumble the ten feet to the bed, kick my boots off, shed my coat and fall back onto mattress.
I woke up right away, mid-morning. I realized I had fallen asleep immediately last night. I thought that time is barreling full speed through me. Then my skull exploded. All I could do... was... sh-shut my... eyestightly! andsay-fuckstopit.Stp-stopit.!ow!
Seth was standing at the stove scrambling shitty eggs, softly whistling. He heard me and peeked into the room... "Good fucking morning, beautiful fucking angel. Ha ha ha ha!"
Made-Up Dream
I sat in the back at work, my head felt very heavy. Chris and Leah walked in and seemed to be in a hurry or worried. I was not thinking about anything, except what are they doing. They lifted boxes and books and put them down in other places. I felt myself stand up, wanting to avoid them and wanting to seem like I wanted to help them. My joints were stiff, I moved slowly and the others moved quickly and talked nonsense quickly and firmly. I picked up a scanner and scanned some books and looked at a monitor and had no idea why. I looked out the window and trees were swaying intensely in the wind. The sky was grey. My skin felt hot on patches and cold on others. My shoes felt like they were falling off. I was hunched over. I felt an overwhelming urge to leave. Susie sort of shouted something to someone or everyone. I had the taste of a pastrami sandwich in my mouth suddenly and had a vomity tickle in my throat. I walked to the other side of the room then to the back door and back. It seemed I was seeing everything around me but not with my eyes. I picked up objects with my hands and put them back down onto a surface, making a little clacking slapping sound. I crouched down and looked under the round desk and found a bowl of hot soup on a tiny shelf and picked it up and the high heat on my hands made my butt hurt and sweat. I spilled the hot red tomatoey runny soup on my shoes half by accident and looked up and saw a hole under the desk at the back of the shelf. It seemed to be my only way out. It was maybe six inches wide. I put my hands thru and half my arms fit then I felt I was being sucked in and pushed thru. My feet floated up spookily. I was scared. I fell thru the dark hole. I saw blue streaks surrounding me disappearing into the distance. My arms and legs grew ten times their size. My torso felt so small. My head was all that seemed mine still. I saw steam or smoke billow in my eyes. There were bright green flashes, like cameras. I felt like I was in a jungle on an alien planet, but I was not. My legs were moving independently, trying to walk, but I was floating and going nowhere. My arms were flapping and I saw thru some clouds that I was miles above earth. I could not see much of anything except cloud. It was like fog in the sky. I knew I was falling. I felt wind blowing up on my face. I pulled some sticky unwrapped chewy granola bars out my my hoody pocket. I was wearing nothing on my lower half. My arms and legs were their normal size and mine. I saw radio towers get closer and appear taller as I fast approached the earth. It was a grey day. I thought of Mom watching a British TV mystery at home on Saturday. I thought of the Austin American Statesman and how I never want to read it again. I thought of a birthday cake getting stale on the dining table at home. My body felt more like air by the second. I was flattening into a sheet one atom thick. I thought of splashing into water and being a kid. I heard some music that was pretty good. Just before I reached the ground I worried that I would crush everyone under me. When I hit I just became a piece of everything my atoms touched. I did not have a consciousness anymore, I was just a bunch of matter, free to be exchanged for anything and go wherever physical forces pushed me.
Then night came, the clouds cleared, the moon shone and a me-piece of a blade of suburban lawn grass was eaten by a tiny shiny black bug.
Then night came, the clouds cleared, the moon shone and a me-piece of a blade of suburban lawn grass was eaten by a tiny shiny black bug.
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Creativity
In the Tinseltown parking lot after Gone Girl, I cannonball eight feet above my mother's Corolla. I pause in the air. The back windshield shatters hard. I reverse and follow my arc back to the ground land on my feet and replay the scene jumping into eight feet into a cannonball shape then rewinding. The windshield keeps shattering. A voice over yelps loudly repeatedly in a staccato pattern.
A small blue capped hourglass on the dining room table steadily pours white sand into the bottom half and sand never accumulates, and the top stays half full and never loses any sand.
It was... 1999. Our dad brought mini-doughnuts and chocolate milk to the hotel room. Now we know we were happier than we could have realized at the time.
In 1963 he turned 18. It was a perfect time to die in Vietnam.
Now nothing has changed, we still scrabble across the lawn pouring orange juice on our brain.
When we get to the edge we turn around and go back home again.
A small blue capped hourglass on the dining room table steadily pours white sand into the bottom half and sand never accumulates, and the top stays half full and never loses any sand.
It was... 1999. Our dad brought mini-doughnuts and chocolate milk to the hotel room. Now we know we were happier than we could have realized at the time.
In 1963 he turned 18. It was a perfect time to die in Vietnam.
Now nothing has changed, we still scrabble across the lawn pouring orange juice on our brain.
When we get to the edge we turn around and go back home again.
Sunday, September 28, 2014
There are no rules. All my friends.
September becomes August which becomes September then August again and back and forth forever. Time is the slowest thing possible.
Today is the biggest letdown of my young career.
Those german Basterds know what is in my blood and what my soul will do as it needs most what is all and all.
September becomes August which becomes September then August again and back and forth forever. Time is the slowest thing possible.
Today is the biggest letdown of my young career.
Those german Basterds know what is in my blood and what my soul will do as it needs most what is all and all.
Sess
Green electric cop shirt skitters over the weedy watery black street. Air-blooded male man scoops it with his fork arm and shoves it through an open 2nd floor window of a 2 dollar hotel. Horey still sleeps humanly, her eyes not blinking. She taps her horizontal feet onto the friar trail of siren flickers.
Barking homeless Dane feels the lack of feed inside his pink jelly bags systematically engorge and entropically deflate as six souls scarred eye a blast of vibrant sunset vital ribbons and sheaths.
Slobad is a nonety waste
Purk
5
oe okjiednoihef ewvddne dijdev;e ugfyhepi v d v e 9e fruirfghbdcf vd fvd
Es ist mi favvorita melodia melatonin bReaking race
Barking homeless Dane feels the lack of feed inside his pink jelly bags systematically engorge and entropically deflate as six souls scarred eye a blast of vibrant sunset vital ribbons and sheaths.
Slobad is a nonety waste
Purk
5
oe okjiednoihef ewvddne dijdev;e ugfyhepi v d v e 9e fruirfghbdcf vd fvd
Es ist mi favvorita melodia melatonin bReaking race
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
Ease, Wake Walk
I'd like to thank God for all these raw materials that we turned into all these automobiles,
that take us from where we sleep to where we eat and speak,
Long lost family
Choosing wine over bread
Choosing Be over Do Not Be
Sometimes people barely sleep all night.
It's almost midnight, I am sleepy.
But, I don't know who he is...
Here she is, what else can I say about ASMR.... asleep, please
that take us from where we sleep to where we eat and speak,
Long lost family
Choosing wine over bread
Choosing Be over Do Not Be
Sometimes people barely sleep all night.
It's almost midnight, I am sleepy.
But, I don't know who he is...
Here she is, what else can I say about ASMR.... asleep, please
Another, The Other
Korean God Supplemental Insurance
The Other Place Will Be The Other Place Is As Was It
See
Fear
Fire
Laste
A Scar
Part
Every
Sign
Singer
Past
Aster
Is Pet
Ever
Seg
Weg
Noon Baritone
Sometime SOon
Good.
The Other Place Will Be The Other Place Is As Was It
See
Fear
Fire
Laste
A Scar
Part
Every
Sign
Singer
Past
Aster
Is Pet
Ever
Seg
Weg
Noon Baritone
Sometime SOon
Good.
Sunday, September 14, 2014
The most unknown physical sense tortures us. We sense that the sense exists but its cause and effect are mysterious and irreconcilable by our other senses.
Eyes Are Wide as I Try to Hide in a Tide Pool
One wearing two eye patches.
The silhouette is more true than the light or its obstruction.
The contrast is in the border. Borderless, indistinct, irreplaceable, undeniable.
I studied a fly, a horse fly. A fly's eyes. Red many sided dome. Globe. Unprocessed variable light waves.
Reactionary, non-judgmental.
Dreab, Drabe, Drad,
Sligs of sape, slak aks ers
Eyes Are Wide as I Try to Hide in a Tide Pool
One wearing two eye patches.
The silhouette is more true than the light or its obstruction.
The contrast is in the border. Borderless, indistinct, irreplaceable, undeniable.
I studied a fly, a horse fly. A fly's eyes. Red many sided dome. Globe. Unprocessed variable light waves.
Reactionary, non-judgmental.
Dreab, Drabe, Drad,
Sligs of sape, slak aks ers
Yesterday happened before today.
I wanna farm bananas in east Australia.
South Australia is the end of the world.
I wish I had anything to say.
Get out of my Friend's Car!
You're not a water Gypsy!
This is the last thing we need to do.
I am going to spell it o-u-t for you.
Sylvester please.
I wanna farm bananas in east Australia.
South Australia is the end of the world.
Tuesday night, after Pat and Bridgett went to the weight room, I ate a very raw steak and got naked. I looked out my window, naked, chewing and tearing sirloin. I felt it was good for me.
I don't know why, but the next day I felt sick at work and went home early. It was a weird week.
I love to sleep in tomorrow. I love to have Monday off. I'm not big on family dinner.
I was watching idiotic youtube. I turned it off, so I would read. I put on jazz. I wanted something the silence could enjoy.
Saturday, September 13, 2014
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
.
Pop culture, Friend Zone
Is draining. I am drain
Part of my body was still asleep but I could not tell which. I walked crookedly. I felt permanently damaged.
And the rest.
Kefir, Eggs, Olive oil, Cheez Roll, Chocolate doughnut
I hope I am not building myself an intricate Hell to hide in.
I got to stop thinking about suicide and murder.
Mindless distraction. I was so shaky and tense at the start of my shift yesterday.
This need for space. I saw trailers for 24 Exposures and Tiptoes. What is Men?
Get happy, shopping, fast food, car, music, clothes, TTTTTVVVVV... Inter inter inter inter inter inter net.
Mom came to my work. It was weird. Simple, easy staff meeting... Gone Forever. What am I doing...
I have to think well....
Have to finish the story... Do not get blocked. Reader's Block.
Tim Tomorrow. Pat and Pat... 90% fear of moral responsibility... Paralysis... Thick constantears... Thumbelina... Twice. Nice
I have to start and outline A Wild Fish... Consuming animals, being animals, being aware.
I have to shower now, brb
I had to stop Friend Zone and listen to Cowboy Dan.
Pat, Bridge and I watched Creature Comforts America after going to Target and Double Daves.
I wonder if Aaron will like Cowboy Dan. I am going to email it and a song I made up and typed.
He texted me about Meghan, which I am glad about.
Here from last night, sing:
Your lips assume more than your eyes
When I wish upon a star, all the people who you are
Wish someone would save us from the seat
The best defeat is compromise
I am eternally grateful for my active memory... I wanted to ask Mom if she remembers something, but I can't remember what...
I try, I do
It is
I commented twice on a NorthSouthWhispers video by Jordan... I am afraid to say/type how pretty I think she is, because she is 16...
I just don't understand... completely... 2 Weeks by Grizzly Bears... Everyone here,,, New York, Toronto, just like NY but without all the stuff. -Gavin Valoure. I was listening to Bossypants, audiobook that I got for free thru the library... Saturday I masturbated in the employee restroom at a library, which I never thought I would do... I am such a stranger. I went to late Guardians of the Galaxy with Kit and Lorena and they talked about how great Schlitterbahn is. Then Kit and I played tons of N64 games at his house and I slept a little while and my legs sweated on the sheets until I took off the comforter.
I listened to ASMRRequests read Thumbelina and I cried when the sparrow took her to the white marble palace. Thumbelina cried a lot... I don't know if it has any morals... I think it's just beautiful.
I'll go email Aaron now... It's enough.
Later bob...
Friday, August 22, 2014
OLLA
Patrick and Bridgett left and Adam went to get blood again.
I ate Birthday Cake Oreos and milk.
Things seemed more sacred and important, more weighty and beautiful.
I connected with their talk of fear and appreciation.
Eve put on music and danced and I noticed her shoulders pushed forward and I pushed mine back and felt masculine and I wanted to have sex with Eve. She looked conquerable. They danced and I enjoyed watching and thought of context and human nature.
Second viewing: About a week later..
I am quite attracted to Eve. Ava is more physically appealing, but she's gross. I was really sad when they kicked her out, because their misunderstanding and inability to connect and make Ava a better person seemed hopeless.
The vampires call other people zombies because they act mindlessly. Being an animal is part of being human. The only animal part of vampires is their need for blood. Plants also have physical form.
With endless life, they are free to love fully and honestly. The zombies are not really alive. The vampires are lovers of the best things.
Im more of a [Stacks] girl myself" ?
We dont know shit about fungi, even though life couldnt exist without it.
it's always a bit weird with family
diamond the size of a planet that emits the sound of gigantic gong
I love that; I found it on Youtube... - Of course you did.
That certainly was visual.
Beautiful couple on the plane to Tangiers. Blue blouse, beard, ponytail. Square jaws.
- I'm so glad they go to Tangiers together.
Fear of their own imagination
Music of drinking blood, heightens senses, drinking Kefir, goosebumps.
Bottomlessly somber. Absurdly playful.
Fuck, Kit! (Fuck it!) "Look what the cat dragged in" Shakespeare?
I want to love only the most awesome things... It's practically painful...
I want to know what the words that woman singing in Tangiers mean.
It sounds like English, "I'll be happy, Marlowe." Or morrow..
She seems quite attractive. She's way too good to be famous? Fame comes with being misunderstood and people wasting resources on mindless unworthy adoration, false idolatry.. or something
This is probably the best:
How can you have lived for so long and still not get it?
This self-obsession is a waste of living.
It could be spent on surviving things, appreciating nature,
nurturing kindness and friendship, and dancing!
Have I told you about Sparrows Dance? Or have you heard o' it. It seems similar. I saw it at the Austin FIld Fest a few years ago. It's on Youtube.com
I ate Birthday Cake Oreos and milk.
Things seemed more sacred and important, more weighty and beautiful.
I connected with their talk of fear and appreciation.
Eve put on music and danced and I noticed her shoulders pushed forward and I pushed mine back and felt masculine and I wanted to have sex with Eve. She looked conquerable. They danced and I enjoyed watching and thought of context and human nature.
Second viewing: About a week later..
I am quite attracted to Eve. Ava is more physically appealing, but she's gross. I was really sad when they kicked her out, because their misunderstanding and inability to connect and make Ava a better person seemed hopeless.
The vampires call other people zombies because they act mindlessly. Being an animal is part of being human. The only animal part of vampires is their need for blood. Plants also have physical form.
With endless life, they are free to love fully and honestly. The zombies are not really alive. The vampires are lovers of the best things.
Im more of a [Stacks] girl myself" ?
We dont know shit about fungi, even though life couldnt exist without it.
it's always a bit weird with family
diamond the size of a planet that emits the sound of gigantic gong
I love that; I found it on Youtube... - Of course you did.
That certainly was visual.
Beautiful couple on the plane to Tangiers. Blue blouse, beard, ponytail. Square jaws.
- I'm so glad they go to Tangiers together.
Fear of their own imagination
Music of drinking blood, heightens senses, drinking Kefir, goosebumps.
Bottomlessly somber. Absurdly playful.
Fuck, Kit! (Fuck it!) "Look what the cat dragged in" Shakespeare?
I want to love only the most awesome things... It's practically painful...
I want to know what the words that woman singing in Tangiers mean.
It sounds like English, "I'll be happy, Marlowe." Or morrow..
She seems quite attractive. She's way too good to be famous? Fame comes with being misunderstood and people wasting resources on mindless unworthy adoration, false idolatry.. or something
This is probably the best:
How can you have lived for so long and still not get it?
This self-obsession is a waste of living.
It could be spent on surviving things, appreciating nature,
nurturing kindness and friendship, and dancing!
Have I told you about Sparrows Dance? Or have you heard o' it. It seems similar. I saw it at the Austin FIld Fest a few years ago. It's on Youtube.com
Monday, August 11, 2014
Sunday, August 10, 2014
Appreciation
Please play Balderdash with me and then let's die.
Let's Play Science
..................
Never what you think it is... OK?
Exhaustion
..................
Never what you think it is... OK?
Exhaustion
BUHHHHHH LOGGER!
Are you Halloween or are you a holiday?
Are you listening to what no one will say?
I am singing to you and sitting on a toilet peeing.
You are a cat and your back is black and you've got a lot of dandruff.
You are a motion picture!
This is Rock and Rock is God.
Inter-ference
Between Among, I am exactly accurate.
To bring to carry to suffer to endure
Hey. Don't write yourself off yet.
Yummy yummy yummy poop.
I like my sex.
Dumb enuff to be born... alive... survive... A lock o' pips.
Have I really been doing this? Life just flys by... At least it's moving somewhere.
I at least might someday try for anything.
Jesus, Just Yes Perfect... Latin... Perfect Human Latin Babies... Sure
Blowing your soul into a trumpet blasting Enormoose Blinding Deafening Crushing Galactic Earth.
Native American Name for the Land We Live upon... Food... Life... Empathy... Imperfection... Affection... Apathy... Integrity.... Apples.... Yesterday.... Love.... Christ.... Lose.... Pooop... Feet.... Afterword.... Eternity.... On the Course.... Suitable.... Limits..... Cross..... Bear.... Look.... Listen..... Possible...... [..... Gift..... Practical...... Abundance..... Human..... Acceleration...... Affluence....... Pizza...... Chums...... Oh Kay
Bye, Water.
Not a life. Not a life. Not a Life.
Not a Liver.
Just Coming Thru and Passing Out
And wanting more and getting more
Are you listening to what no one will say?
I am singing to you and sitting on a toilet peeing.
You are a cat and your back is black and you've got a lot of dandruff.
You are a motion picture!
This is Rock and Rock is God.
Inter-ference
Between Among, I am exactly accurate.
To bring to carry to suffer to endure
Hey. Don't write yourself off yet.
Yummy yummy yummy poop.
I like my sex.
Dumb enuff to be born... alive... survive... A lock o' pips.
Have I really been doing this? Life just flys by... At least it's moving somewhere.
I at least might someday try for anything.
Jesus, Just Yes Perfect... Latin... Perfect Human Latin Babies... Sure
Blowing your soul into a trumpet blasting Enormoose Blinding Deafening Crushing Galactic Earth.
Native American Name for the Land We Live upon... Food... Life... Empathy... Imperfection... Affection... Apathy... Integrity.... Apples.... Yesterday.... Love.... Christ.... Lose.... Pooop... Feet.... Afterword.... Eternity.... On the Course.... Suitable.... Limits..... Cross..... Bear.... Look.... Listen..... Possible...... [..... Gift..... Practical...... Abundance..... Human..... Acceleration...... Affluence....... Pizza...... Chums...... Oh Kay
Bye, Water.
Not a life. Not a life. Not a Life.
Not a Liver.
Just Coming Thru and Passing Out
And wanting more and getting more
Saturday, August 9, 2014
Joy and Fear
I'm listening to Wild Tigers I Have Known by Emily Jane White. I am very serious. I just ejaculated a few minutes ago. I watched horrible idiotic videos. At one point, I thought, I wish I were not wasting this time. I thought of wonderful things just online that I could be looking at instead. What is the world? The USA came from English colonies 400 years ago. The song is over. (: Lil' Cap'n Travis...
I wanted to listen to Let It Be, but the Beatles' music is not available on Spotify, but I could just listen some other way I think.
Now a weird live version of Upon This Tidal Wave of Young Blood is playing.
Haa.... The Skin of My Yellow Country Teeth makes me feel 17. Driving to work or some other weird time and activity... It was weird at the time, and now it is something weird that a completely different person than me did.
Rain in Bastrop County. Shiny roads. Grassy smells, tall shaking pines. Mom with friends, Brothers in Austin, Friends all are strangers. I am stranger. I am all ways trying too hard to do the thing that turns out to be the wrong thing to do. I cannot imagine any other life but imagine other lives is all I do.
Sinking and floating and laughing and crying all at once.
I am so confused about what I feel, what I am, when I am... All Questions... Forever, There she is, Drops of Sweet Liquid.
360 degrees, slower than time, lower than light. Pushing Hard Forward on a Circle that Takes Me Back Around to the Same Life I Am Always Living
Always breaking, busting and transforming. But all inside a cocoon that never opens or changes. Then I just use the broken pieces to make myself into a person who feels new but will end up the same way.
Hopefully when I die the cocoon will fall away. I'll be a big beautiful gay Butterfly person. Hopefully Heaven really is for real. I want to eat some red meat... She is insane...
Ecstatically Ordinary... Don't you know I'm just like you? Yes, you. It's proper. It's extraordinary.
I was thinking earlier at work that I am quite stupid...
I watched Speakeasy with Dan Harmon and Mark Maron.. Hmm similar names...
I really hope you like me... I talked to Mom about how I don't really have friends that I hang out with and maybe I should. I saw Stacy yesterday. I was achingly emotional. I drove to Sunset Valley and it looked beautiful, about 11 am, sort of busy, and I cried a little. I still had to drive safely. I went past Tony Burger Center to see if the farmer's market was happening. It wasn't. There were a bunch of teens doing exercises in rows. I gave a dollar to guy on the side of the road with a sign that said disabled veteran. I was the first at the stoplight. He told me about his pension money or something. I tried to talk with him. I did not feel like myself. His face was red and bearded. His eyes were watery. He was chubby or fat I guess.
Now I'm listening to The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. I listened to Neurotic Society again . It's pretty amazing.
I have to go to the movie and talk to Aaron tomorrow. What is the worst...
What is happening in your brain?
I really want to know. I want to know. Everything.
I wanted to listen to Let It Be, but the Beatles' music is not available on Spotify, but I could just listen some other way I think.
Now a weird live version of Upon This Tidal Wave of Young Blood is playing.
Haa.... The Skin of My Yellow Country Teeth makes me feel 17. Driving to work or some other weird time and activity... It was weird at the time, and now it is something weird that a completely different person than me did.
Rain in Bastrop County. Shiny roads. Grassy smells, tall shaking pines. Mom with friends, Brothers in Austin, Friends all are strangers. I am stranger. I am all ways trying too hard to do the thing that turns out to be the wrong thing to do. I cannot imagine any other life but imagine other lives is all I do.
Sinking and floating and laughing and crying all at once.
I am so confused about what I feel, what I am, when I am... All Questions... Forever, There she is, Drops of Sweet Liquid.
360 degrees, slower than time, lower than light. Pushing Hard Forward on a Circle that Takes Me Back Around to the Same Life I Am Always Living
Always breaking, busting and transforming. But all inside a cocoon that never opens or changes. Then I just use the broken pieces to make myself into a person who feels new but will end up the same way.
Hopefully when I die the cocoon will fall away. I'll be a big beautiful gay Butterfly person. Hopefully Heaven really is for real. I want to eat some red meat... She is insane...
Ecstatically Ordinary... Don't you know I'm just like you? Yes, you. It's proper. It's extraordinary.
I was thinking earlier at work that I am quite stupid...
I watched Speakeasy with Dan Harmon and Mark Maron.. Hmm similar names...
I really hope you like me... I talked to Mom about how I don't really have friends that I hang out with and maybe I should. I saw Stacy yesterday. I was achingly emotional. I drove to Sunset Valley and it looked beautiful, about 11 am, sort of busy, and I cried a little. I still had to drive safely. I went past Tony Burger Center to see if the farmer's market was happening. It wasn't. There were a bunch of teens doing exercises in rows. I gave a dollar to guy on the side of the road with a sign that said disabled veteran. I was the first at the stoplight. He told me about his pension money or something. I tried to talk with him. I did not feel like myself. His face was red and bearded. His eyes were watery. He was chubby or fat I guess.
Now I'm listening to The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill. I listened to Neurotic Society again . It's pretty amazing.
I have to go to the movie and talk to Aaron tomorrow. What is the worst...
What is happening in your brain?
I really want to know. I want to know. Everything.
Thank you
I want to be alive forever.
I want to do things I would never do.
semiconscious entertainer semiconscious entertainer semiconscious entertainer
Never not been so painful. Never not been so painful.
Never not been semiconscious.
NO!!!!
Ha, thanks.
You Know Very Well
Paul, and all.
Here it is.
I want to do things I would never do.
semiconscious entertainer semiconscious entertainer semiconscious entertainer
Never not been so painful. Never not been so painful.
Never not been semiconscious.
NO!!!!
Ha, thanks.
You Know Very Well
Paul, and all.
Here it is.
Friday, August 8, 2014
Holding Hands, Nice
Two young sisters holding hands, one taller, one fatter
I am holding hands with a bag of trash, We pass by
There is nothing left for us
There is nothing left inside
There is nothing ahead or behind
I just want what's best for her
She just wants me to die!
Doo doo, doo, doo doo doo doo.
I am holding hands with a bag of trash, We pass by
There is nothing left for us
There is nothing left inside
There is nothing ahead or behind
I just want what's best for her
She just wants me to die!
Doo doo, doo, doo doo doo doo.
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