The Worst Writer Ever

What should I do?




"If there's a better way to be... that's how I want to be."

- I said that.


i  bon't  care


comedy


force  field


I am listening to Nazi Rock. Surge.  War.  Hate.  Destruction.  Oblivion.  {:  coo coo pants, I like you are hair


I was watching Love on Netflix.

I listened to most of the new Harmontown, but the app quit. I am waiting for it load back to the part I was on.

I just skipped 3 songs on Spotify because they were depressing to me. Kimya Dawson is singing to me now. I was pooping a few minutes ago and I thought of her song The Competition. She makes me feel a little better.


Be positive. Think the right thoughts. Do the right things. Make things. Make love, not pizza. Eat babies. Dead ones, not alive ones.


Ride on Roller Skates


Hello! This is a book entitled The Worst Writer Ever. I am The worst writer ever. I am writing this book. This sentence will never end

bAD DAY zERO

bAD DAY zERO

Sunshine. And Blood. I pick the pieces. I ate 2 pounds of Reese's Pieces and nothing else yesterday.

I cannot shit. I drove past the Jalisco's restaurant. I stared at a bird in the air and almost crashed into a merging semi truck.

Mom bought 4 pizzas. I am dead. I eat cunts. I raped the 12 year old TV star. I ate Gillian Jacobs. I circumcised myself. I castrated myself.

I am      nigeerrrrrrrrrr fuck fuck I cannnott yell out loud I ammm sooo fuckkking hell dead be bdead be in hell hell is life I cannot fuck I am dying ALL the the time! I can hell It is FUCK. I can be dead i want to yell and live until I die Right Now. I am Fuck, I can die, I am so UHHHH every Hell, I want to fuck and cum all of my life out I want to exploded my ficking dick fuck it so much so hard Helll, Be all you can be! All is Shit, Fuck, I make a pizza I eat a Doll, I make a Music, I juice the Father land, I am Happy to Die, I yell at Sister, I fuck the Shit, I fuck up, I do OK, I am All Right, I can die now, I am so Happy Hell, I hear Good Times, I am writing a good book Now, I am happy to be a dad, I have 4 sons they kill every life Of my Dick Son Blowing cum In my Eyes I am happy to Live with Love and Be cumming up the shaft of dead knives dads and Guns and Fuck, I eat Juices,

I fucked Gillian Jacobs in the eyes. I love drinking delicious creamy coffee. I  never get tired. I give Gillians Jacobs intense orgasms that she will never recover from which, she is on death's row. The Stalks of Trees Leaves Time for Night Shadows and Dusty Sucking Sweat Balls of Teeth and Nice Love,

for her and for everyone...

Now is the time to be creative, to create

                 Angels transcend your eyes. Holy, hole-less, pure brilliant white wings beat slowly, imperceptibly. Wings wider than your peripheral vision. Your eyes cannot wait. You do not live a length of time that could allow a complete sensual perception of a single angel's wing.

Whirls of grey in the white cloud dust, you are mist and skin. You are expanding toward every edge of the Earth's sky. We are on the sunny side. Celestial rotation is on pause. Gravity is on pause.

Pause yourself, please. You feel about in your soft and hollow body. I name your name. I cannot feel your body.

I want you to know, you are waiting on me and I am waiting on you. Your skin feels like mine. The wet, far clouds are cold. We are wet and far and cold. We are waiting on the wind and the fire light.

I am falling back to the Earth. I am falling toward a green, wet land.




You pick up a hammer by the dark wooden handle. You grip in firmly. You lift it high above your head. You stare intently at the surface before you. With all of your strength, you bring the steel hammer head down onto the silver shining serene lamb.

Your face breaks, a reflection of breathtaking destruction. Your hands fall apart. By annihilating your most precious possession, you have taken yourself from what has possessed you.



Negro hands walking on Road 220 look like Walt Whitman's dire fantasy. Black and purple iridescent geese honk and take flight at 6:07 in the evening over the shady sloshing River.

William Telle sits on a pine rocking chair on the porch of his rented one-room cabin whittling a knife. The song birds whistle the daylight goodbye. William grimaces at his aching hands. He knows he will not finish his whittling before dark. He sighs and gazes upon the dim lavender country, his attention drawn to the trembling silhouettes of bare branches. A dank breeze drapes wild strands of brown hair across William's right eye and ruby nose. He closes his lids and breathes deeply.

He wanders inside and lies, back down, onto the straw-filled mattress. He feels cold inside. He opens his pants and feels his penis. He strokes it. It becomes erect. He pants loudly.  His body tightens and convulses. He rolls onto his side and comes onto the dirty wooden floor. His jaw hangs open. He cannot think. He lies limp on his back and begins to fall asleep.

Walk Whipman pulls out a long lead pencil and sketches the eastern horizon. He is an hour's walk west of Durham. He has a noon meeting there with First National president, John Quinn. He has a fire-roasted rabbit leg and three ripe wild tomatoes in his pack.

Dick President wipes his hiney in the fourth floor ballroom restroom at the Paramount Hotel.

There is a dollop of blood on the otherwise clean bright tiles and the porcelain sink.




The 804 year-old Tree begins to worry that its time is up. It is saddened that this was its first conscious thought. It wishes that it had memories. It wonders what to refer to itself as, other than I, me, or myself. It is aware of the thousands of other trees and plants in this forest. It does not know it is the oldest. Every thought it has seems to last a lifetime. It does not think in English. It does not think in words or symbols.

Grreeenn and brroowwnn fill the air, and white water and dense light are ugly rainbows. Juicy beetles and crunchy ants and pulpy grubs wriggle and writhe on the litter of leaves and seeds and needles.
I hear ambient hissing and whispering in the forest. I see nothing. My feet crackle and squish the rotting ground with each careful step. The sky shifts south, a wheel of gray and white splashed by blue.



I

am not crazy.

I am

going to

the Farmers' Market today,

while it is open.


I am not obsessed.

I am not possessed.

I am not mentally ill.

I am not mentally retarded.


I am in full control of my actions.

I exercise my free will.

I am morally pure and correct.


I am not depressed. I just don't want to work on anything difficult. I want all my problems solved in one easy step. I don't want any responsibility or judgement.

I want some perfect soft grass. I want homeostasis, perfect health. I want to be perfect forever.

I want to be pure light. I want to be God.

I want a chauffeur. I want a beautiful loving wife. I want an endless supply of money that I give to every non-profit charity. Nobody needs anything anymore. Nobody wants anything.

We all eat spaghetti. We all play with Legos. We all climb a mountain. We all sleep in a big comfy tent together, happy and perfect forever.

The End <3 :p  Piepie, Sheep ewe layder {;

Places where I want to go to

1 Australia

2 Phillipines

3 "East Indies"

4 Pacific Islands

5 Japan

6 Taiwan

7 China

8 India

9 Sri Lanka

10 Mesopotamia

11 Ethiopia [earliest human fossil site]

12 The Nile

13 Serengeti

14 Namib desert coast and ghost town

15 The Congo

16 The Great Rift Valley

17 Egypt

18 The Sahara

19 Mediterranian Sea

20 Ancient Greek ruins

21 Ancient Roman ruins

22 Mongolia

23 Siberian Taiga

24 North Pole

25 Germany

26 Switzerland

27 France

28 Sweden

29 Holland

30 Prague

31 The United Kingdom

32 Ireland

33 Spain

34 Iceland

35 Greenland

36 Madagascar

37 South Pole

38 Chile

39 Argentina

40 Brazil

41 Uruguay

42 Peru [Machu Picchu]

43 Ecuador

44 The Amazon River and Forest

45 Belize

46 Panama Canal

47 Caribbean

48 Cuba

49 Jamaica

50 Haiti

51 Mayan Ruins

52 Aztec Ruins

53 Mexico City

54 Costa Rica

55 Florida Everglades

56 Oak Alley Plantation

57 New York City

58 Washington DC

59 Massachusetts

60 Maine

61 Canada [Major cities, Cape Breton, Niagara Falls, Bay of Fundy, Banff...]

62 Great Lakes

63 North Dakota

64 Mt. Rushmore

65 Trail of Tears

66 Appalachian Mountains

67 Adirondack Park

68 Denver

69 Garden of the Gods

70 Yellowstone

71 Montana

72 Salt Lake City

73 Oregon

74 Washington State

75 Alaska

76 Hawaii

77 California parks [deserts and redwoods]

..... That's it!

Connection, i found Spotify again........ here now

Meal delay


Medley of Vegetables

Melody and a Land of gropes, gross meat men fingering fondling, dirty street pizza place grease and sex and dead rats and roaches and fucking Adele stepmom, Dead People I knew, I never know, anything is better than my thoughts free of reality, feeling the nothing, creeping, shriveling, groveling, biting, pissing, shitting, grinning, heaving, humping, seething, clenching, wheezing, happy,

I stand up on the grey sidewalk. The sky is light grey. It is mid-morning. I have nothing to do all day. I'm not really hungry. I think I should eat something good soon.

I wonder where my mother is.

I wonder where we will be in 20 years.

I wonder how it feels to be anyone else. Do others feel hunger the same as I do?

What is pain? Why is there pain? What is wrong? What is wanting?

How simple can I make this?

OK, so... I want to be alive as long as I can.

So... I want to feel good... I want to feel healthy...

I want to be pretty sure that I am doing something that is somehow better than anything else I could be doing at this moment...


I enjoy some female voices very much. "Myth" by Beach House is playing on this laptop.

Female is different than male.

Mom talked about her Diabetes doctor visit. A woman, young, not a doctor, named Ashley. Mom said she liked her and she likes the young women working there.

I thought of young women working in healthcare. I thought of ASMR videos and their creators. I wonder how many women working in healthcare know about ASMR and are involved with it somehow.

I thought of telling Mom that young women are my favourite kind of people.



U. Ur a pony. Ur up. Ursula is bear. A German bear. Female. Mother. I can say. I can see. U are an apple. I have a penis. I cannot care. I have monkeys in my maple tummy. I want to eat meat now.

I am going to die in the next 100 years. Maybe the next 10 seconds. Maybe my soul "Me" will exist forever, beyond time and space. Beyond eternity. Beyond, Better than God. More powerful and intelligent.


I want to fuck shit cunt fuck I kill fuck I can feel a baby going through my urethra I want to explode I want to cum I want my penis to implode and be gone with my testicles and libido and be free and eternal and die and ride a horse than has no physical dimensions and is omniscient and wonderful and kind and groovy and runs forever toward beautiful places and light that exists perfectly and never gets worse and changes into whatever it must change into to fulfill a pattern of efficiency and order... I can see these things.
I want to invent new languages and letters.

I know a girl. SHe is 11 years old. Her vagina is 5 centimeters.

I know I am wrong.

I do not know why.

I do not know what I need to do to make life as good as it can be.



I want to swing outside by a house and a trellis. THe sun shines. FLowers bloom. White silky petals, Petals are better than silk. SO soft that I die and come right back to say, I am happy and I want to die and have you seen the movie I am making in my mind?

I am so horny.

I know I want to read Plato right now I guess. I guess I don't know.


I know I need to eat something good like leaf veggies that are in the fridge.

If I want to live, and I do, I need to be clear about how I want to live,

I want to be clear with what I want to be and do.



Over the sun is a dung beetle feeding its son and dying on a flame.

He evaporates and becomes a part of the infinite everything.

He is never forgotten.



The end.

Bye, my name is Gregory Wredberg. I love you. No one knows. Later. Peace out, my friend.

Things I need to do to be myself, Things I cannot not do. I am myself, I love myself.

Sometimes I have not trusted myself to drive on highways, or faster than 30 miles an hour, or at all.

Sometimes I have felt like I would rather die than live like I have been living or feel as I have felt.

I prefer the past tense when communicating my habits, because I do not know the future; it may be totally different than the past.

I want to express only what is true. I want to express the truth of this passing moment.

I am planning to see a psychiatrist in 4 days.

I am listening to LCD Soundsystem's This Is Happening. This moment I hear "One Touch."

I want to skip work. I want to say I do not feel OK. I ......



I took a break from typing just now.

I feel OK. I am drinking green tea with some honey. I want to listen to Kimya Dawson, when she sings I got good at feeling bad, and that's why I'm still here.

I stopped the LCD Soundsystem CD.

I decided I do not want to shower... Or I realised I do not want to... for work. I think I will feel OK with not being freshly showered. I'll wear clean clothes. I am going to splash my face with water.

I watched and listened to a few Apprentice Eh vlogs. It seems they have moved to a downtown Toronto apartment way up high over looking the lake.

I really enjoyed those videos. I feel a friendship toward those people. I like that they record parts of their lives and share it with us/everybody... anyone who cares.

Hummmmmmmmmm....... Galaxy, 500, Universe.... Silly talk, Baby Wankers, Human Apple Pumpkin Tossers, Gay Blowjobs, annnnnnnnnnnnd Milk Moms and fun days and free tacos.


the end for now bybybybybybybybybybygw

High School Again, Waking and Fantasies

Hi you. It is greg wredberg.

I dont want to go to work to do. That must be painfully obvious to you... or anyone I guess.

I want to get my dick sucked hard. I dont know. I am afraid.... again... still.

I have been awake for between one and two hours.

I listened to ASMR girls until my phone died.

I was just lying in bed, wanting Mom to get in the shower so that I could feel some kind of relief... I guess. I know that she wont hear me being awake and typing I guess. She is done showering now.

And I very briefly imagined her being naked just for the purposes of showering but I immediately suppressed that thought, since it disgusts me and gives me no pleasure or satisfaction. Then I imagined Stacy, my therapist, naked. I imagined kissing and licking her on specific spots all over her body. I was enraptured by this fantasy I was having. Then in my mind, we made out for hours and fucked.

It was good. I felt good. Then I quickly came to this laptop to type the fantasy. I guess I was proud of the detail and focus. It lasted for a few minutes, that fantasy of Stacy. the "Stacy is my girlfriend."

Mom came into the room a few minutes ago, and we talked for a minute about waking up and staying awake.

There are 3 pets here. 2 dogs and 1 cat. I feel so strange. Like I am in high school again. I was happy on my days off, and I expressed to my mother. A couple of nights ago I put on a documentary about Jean Michel Basquiat. I watched a large portion and listened to a larger portion. I like him. Mom and I hung out and talked on the porch. I threw a tennis ball for Emerson..........


........................... Now I am researching how to recycle bedding, because Mom asked me to. I just told her I feel like I am in high school again. That is not a bad thing. It is good in some ways.

Maybe... I feel very strange and broken and love and poop and grump and fun and dog and funk and crumb.

The End.

Godliness and a Lioness at Purgatory Station

YOU wish you ... were better looking.


"Madame, are you ready to depart from the depot? It is ... just after half past noon."

"...." She, Madame, holds an index finger up toward Jonathan. She stares at the schedule of passengers on the bench beside herself.

She is poignantly still...

Suddenly, without ceremony or acknowledgment, she stirs from her trance, rises, grasps her luggage, and states with a hint of haste, "Yes, Jonathan. Whysoever would we delay another millimoment. Tardiness would be met with much chagrin by the council of Devonfallshireham."

"Yes, Madame."

"In any course, I have not the foggiest notion as to the cause of your reluctance toward this quite, may I say, intrepid endeavour to... placate the elder council members. They have certainly been put out in a rather grotesque manner, and our slowness to remedy this catastrophe is, in my honest and correct opinion, unforgivable."


- MEANWHILE IN THE UNTAMED EXPANSE OF NEW YOURK CITY! -

"IM GUNNA KILL MAHSELF!!! I CAINT DO ENUFF!!!!!!"

"Calm... down... Leroy..."

" !!! ... !!! ... ..."

"It... is... not... as... bad... as... all... that... is... it?"

"People sufferin' all over tha place... all the goddamn time, everywhere, consistently... constantly... And what!?? What I'm suppose to do? I cain't do nothin'...

"Right!? Am I right? ......."

"Well... let... me... see... here... Leroy... It seems... to me at least... that you may be... confusing... your... situation... as it were...

"Let's say... if I were... just... a little less... fortunate... maybe... just maybe... then... a bit of... understanding...

"Simply stated............."


And an angry ugly old stump. Where out and forth with and out right and Forth Right and Plain and Plaintive and Pitiful and Old and Implacable...

There it was in the swampy pits, the plumes of grog, the pains of grain and gravel and depths of ordinary slain placid flat arrays...

Purposeful places... Waiting a cloud belong, for long, furlong, a league, a row of buildings, an incorporated idealism, a ferocity of trees in the something summer of young enough but still knowing and adulterated, believing a trust of grape fields and store houses and shops and towns, and humble highways, retarded roads, loose money, realms of given and taken leads, for gone, for gotten, laid to bleed to death on the ruddy ruined earth land, supposedly owned by some people, entrusted, forsaken, alibis, too lifeless to lie anymore, afterwards, after thoughts...

Collusion beset in a lewd proclamation, befallen on a harem of scarce rural resources, the yellowing hay, the burned scars, the settings of brick and metal, the human ages, the hurting cattle, the arduous repetitive work hours, the cotton burrs on their wool socks, the blank television screens, the Wal-mart foreclosures, the bank eruption, the land and property seizures...

A lot of monkey business, lot of spies and dissent... fallow field of black puddles, acres of acrid soup, lead skies, leaders in Denial... blame for miles and miles, sodden diapers, blue blazing eyes, ears for no talkers... Bare... and bare... Lasting... last word...

Inviting a safe connection.

The End

Dear Gregory Wredberg,

You might be already dead.

This your Late Father, from beyound the grave... that's right, I died then my body was put in a coffin and buried under dirt in Dallas, Texas.

BUT! now i am here talking to you again, don'tch you know?

"ghost" by Neutral Milk Hotel

"Don't let go" by Weezer

Why don'tch you die?

Haha

I am just only kidd joking off couaarreessssss.


Now I have a plan for you..........


Let's be warm

Let's make music

To Stacy Watkins LPC :


Can I take off all my clothes right now?

Can you leave me alone now?

Can you pretend that nothing matters except me?

Can I make myself cum right now?

Can I make myself happy?

Can I make my own meaning?

Are we similar?

Are we the same?


What do you really think of me?

Can I ever trust anyone?

Can I ever believe anything?


What motivates our actions?


What are instincts?


What is free will?



I just want to do something nice for someone.

I want to talk with Dan Harmon.

I like G Eazy. He's weird, like everyone.


I want to start a charity. I want people to get what they really need and want.


I want people to be fulfilled and reach for their potentials.


Why am I so stupid?


Why is human consciousness full of contradictions?


Catherine O'Hara says "make you go insane" in a hillbilly accent.

G Eazy is disturbing.


What am I doing

I have not eaten today

It is 10:03 am.

I am Stacy. Stacy is God. Aaron is Jesus. My mother is Mary. I am Jesus's brother. I am God's weird Uncle.

I am going to Stay until I Go.

I am made of Penises. All I think about is Semen.


I want to Cry, I want to Laugh... I want everything to stop.

I want everything to Start Over.

Hi, I'm Greg. I really love you. I really believe in Everything,

I am Really Really Alive still, I still love you, You are a baby and you are dead You are my best Love I am going to die right now, I am in love with being,

I want to Yofel on A Mountain ... yodel

THis is Perfect an d Beauty and Truth and I am so Ready to do everything that is Good, I am the Definition of Good, I am Pure Good, I love doing you, I want to talk to you I want to listen to your deepest thoughts I want to go Go go, I am a soul, I have to try, I love Creating, ,...........


How does this feel?

Predictive Phone Keyboard

He just said ok. Thanks, you DON'T! How ya doin ' How much are these still available. I don't think either of us are physically attracted to the other hand, I lied to the Soul. Crux Fall. Christ's intention. Requirements for Conscious Decision Cause for Fulfilling Purpose Ongoing I'm too happy about it. I really enjoyed the time. I sit here and there are a few nights ago. I don't want to scar anyone or ruin the same time. I sit in the seed lyrics. I recommend you to know if you have to give you a lot of Snickers, my butt would get a chance to win the game.

hey guys are having problems. it will take a few years, I will see members, but it was not even sure how I got the chance of a laser-spackled, I will be in touch, I will hope you have any free. you are not an option for me, I am a beautiful and wonderful day and the rest is up to you.

New Year, Old Abstract Expressionism

I live in the sub /ubi/ burbs with my mom.

I'm going to work tomorrow morning but I don't have a job.

Take your mother by the hand.

Please express my exprresssionn.

Take a portrait of Van Go.

Painted by a San Diego Devil's Fan.


I am an angry All-i-Gaytore and I have spies for eyes

I don't wanta see ya later. I wanna see your thighs



How's your Silly Happy Home

I can peel off the layers?

I made myself a cat.

I sold a Barbe Queued Po' -Ta-toe.


Look at that quiet ground.

The Florr Today Is Extra Wet.

Just Just give me all your honey

I got a wallet and a wad.

I grabbed all your package.

I hope you can be saved.

I will wait for you to be released from Prison.

I saw your Name on the tha TV.

I just asked your Dying mother.

Is there anywhere good around here to buy some coleslaw.

Kiss me I am the Irish Chef. I came to come in please. I argued with the TV. I had a food fight in my brain. I enlraged my enlarged Liver/


.... Something broke, Did you hear what I just said. I wrote it all on the Website.

It has 40 minutes to present Its charity to the president of the good old you essay

Maybe mayber what the fuck!@!

I lucking fuvv GracieHInaBox! Michele is cool! So young and so Old videos!! I am only I a little years younger than them... Youtube, just talking to a camera looking interesting, thinking out loud, living openly... Makes living possible makes one feel included and important...

I keep watching porn and masturbating... It sucks... I am not myself... I am a lesser being... I am an animal.

Are other animals capable of transcendence? Are humans? If so, I wonder what is the purpose of transcendence.
Transcendence is controlling your instincts (such as not masturbating just because you can) and working towards a higher goal, such as whatever exists in your best dreams, then not being overly concerned with worldly matters and caring infinitely about what eternity will be like for everyone...

Daily Grace, July 25th 2013, "That's a human thing! I'm surrounding myself with it... Not human, alive. I have a hard time distinguishing between alive and just human. Neither here nor there."

Journal

Right now, late in the night here, I feel like Leonord Cohen can and has been worthless too. So I have hope I guess.


v


Vee



I like being surrounded by 4 doorways. Open options.




I am litlle, for here now. You. I. Apple. Hand. Sex. Home. Fuck.


Buddy. Bye. Sound. Sleep.


Oh yeah, I want to have sex, fuck, with Stacy. My therapist of 6 years. My desire gets stronger.
She gave birth for the first time several months ago.
I don't think that fact strengthens my desire. It's about how we talk, what we say to each other. And how she looks, clothes and all.

I still have 4 days before I see her again.

I will see members of my family very soon. We will exchange a few looks and words and present gifts. And a few will provide too much food and the wrong food for us to fill our tummies.

I am beginning a tradition of not sleeping the night before Christmas eve.

Howwww........ Incest. Cousins. Colon cancer. Orgasm semen. Blood gush.

Violence

Dont let your heart die

Dont let your butt sing

Dont talk with your mouth open

Dont eat with food in your mouth

Doctor's Visit

I was in my cubicle working, cutting and pasting Tetris blocks onto a website. At 10:30, I got really bored, so I started to eat lunch in front of my computer . I fell asleep on my keyboard. At noon, I woke up and lifted my head. Peter was standing and looking at me. A Tetris block stuck to my forehead. "Are you okay?" he asked then took a sip of coffee. I stared into space. "Yeah," I said. I threw up half a chicken salad sandwich on my keyboard. Peter said I should go see a doctor on the 3rd floor then walked away. I went to the doctor's office. I was sent into an exam room. The doctor came in and listened to my stomach with a stethoscope. She paused. The light left her face. She stood and looked me in the eyes. Coldly, she told me, "Please wait here. I'll be right back." She left then returned with a bald short scientist man wearing a lab coat and black rimmed glasses. I hated him. He pulled out a tiny telescope and put it into my bellybutton. "Hmm," he said as he looked through. He stood and looked me in the eye. He whispered something to the doctor, then he left, thank Jesus, the bastard.  The doctor thought for a second, eyes cast down. She lifted her head and looked at me but through me. "I'm sorry," she said. "Okay," I said. "There are a million dying universes in your core, each full of millions of dying screaming civilizations," she said. I thought for a second. "Okay," I said. She stared into space, stone faced, and cried. I stood and walked to the exam room door. I opened it and stepped out into deep space. I floated away from the exam room. I climbed around in the starry darkness. I found another exam room door. I went in and saw the doctor. We put our arms around each other, smiled, and stared into each other's eyes. "There are millions of universes and millions and millions of us living and dying," she said. "It's okay," I said. We let go. I fell through a space portal, and was immediately hit in the face by a speeding space truck. I woke up standing at a tee on a golf course. In the far distance beyond the fairway, I saw a shallow mountain. I held a golf club. I looked down at the head of the club. Then I fell asleep again.

More Predictive Phone Text

blogger.comthinkgoingtofinallyAlwaysandwhatyouneedyouitlifehairandhissurethatyoukeeptrusther82millionother$aswellallthestormblackensthedoorclosedFlorencetheothertimeasthatallotherwaythevideorecipient,pleasecontactusatorapartmentisonmyfuzzyIam2maketimeforeveryonefirstnightinaverylongwhile.

You can have it all ..... A spiral notebook of messy black ink marks {-: Hi

https://youtu.be/GWzWR51Q1Qc

 -  Can I fix myself or find myself ?

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg971vOoeKwhpwruUqvwjf_ZBs8FlFBOTY3FcKZvJh7QF_1uGfOZ9iPL0wDo5KjwgNp5aIpEEUdcLEExdFxT8z3bNuGjbROZjFMbiPz1DZFv3W1SedymdEokn2w7NVnTsyxKwSg-KeiRrs/s1600/InteriorFoldTEMPLATE.jpg

You can have it all

Below from the waist and naked
Pary is having ami.
... ... They are all
hawaiian Bitches.
My rock-hard melting genitals are 500 meters below ground.
My man's jaw and sex tongue and fuck head and dream eyeballs and feather heather hair and grease pockets penetrate the border of Outer Skies.
I have to know if this is real.
That was a different thing.
I don't know anything about you.
Abstinent. Asexual. Impotent. Infertile.
Jimmy Cliff
ZZaappaa PP AZA St. Francis

________ Good _______
Nothing can be Nothing
Something Anything Everything
My mother, Barbara, drove from Michele Dr., 5 miles Northeast of Bastrop, TX, to Manchaca Rd., 2 miles Northwest of me.
MMm orning.
Aaron wakes up and gets up and eats cow's liver and drinks sour cow's milk crawling with helpful bacteria.
Kiss  -  Rock Orgasm Happiness Language.
NPS.gov  .  .  .  Big Bender
I am Aware.
Absurd is Life's Daily Joys .
Things are Theenghz
Choobs are Loobs. Collywobbles - Joyce
Sexual Intercourse wither baloon mom.

New, Unenjoyable, and Worthwhile.
Worth time. Worthy time.
every woman is someone's Mother
of Invention.
Monday is my favorite day, Nevermind.
I'm gunna fukkin die .
every thing dies .
I wanna make out with a nerd just like me, but different, but still male.


I am afraid of my thoughts and death and life.
I want to see you, feel you, smell you, hear you, understand.
I need to eat. I am tired.
I stretch... I am repeptitive....
I am unstabel.
I am crying.
I am decaying.
Heat and light decay.
Light makes life.
Photosynthesis.
Life thinks.
Water is life. Carbon is life.
Vomit. Rotation.
Music makes me happy.
Music is conscious.
Emotion is real.
Sometimes I feel trapt.
Thinking makes me free, if I do it enough.
Thinking makes me real. Thinking makes Real real. This is inevitabel. In the broadest scope of existence I am always real now, and I am always making this true now and always.
Grammar phone, Science wheel and Peasant flock.
Humour bone, All y McBeal and Calistaf Lock
...   She's so stupid, No, she's O.K. She's 41 ...
WEre WoLF   Space shoes
If this had a title this would be it.
Fill in my lips . Fill in my teeth.
No one knows doughnuts. No one knows my dad.
Know what you are? ...
Prepare not by pretending, but by expecting your memories. 20% of my perceptions today have reminded me of pretty young white women giving blowjobs. You have to  t r y.
quote the foul size of your penis

I seem to suffer from self-imposed, self-encouraged mental disorder.
Can you believe I'm still ready?
The clouds are back.
My mother dumped this on me.
My mother dumped me on this.
Gosh, I want to inject myself with heroin.
These 9 hours have forcefully passed.
I wonder how soon before summer I should move to Toronto. I can get a WWOOF gig for a few months I bet.
Who cares? I do a lot. and I'm worried a lot. I can stay away forever.
I can be where I am always.
I can Love what I do.

Organic Pronto Malphagia
3-17-15 ~ 10 am
Pretendivination
Inside I am a porch.
The clear, silver, moist, artistically musical atmosphere touches my sick skin and a torch erases my sick skin and a torch erases my feelings. Shyny white... bored... blank ... Reverse tusk pierces finite Lyra popular pustules.
I'm drunk on Green Margaritas on St. Patrick's Day Night with my deactivated Nuclear fambily.
I Keep waiting to become myself .... ,  David Foster Wallace ...
               I forget what I want to say
           Water feels real good
Just anything Ananananything
Living Living Human Human Body Sleep
Bodily Fluid , Sustinence,
Equilibrium                                        Homeostasis
Motor Vehicles, Homesteads, Lightning Dogs

Heightened meditation on Kino, Japan, New York City, Helsinki and Australia
I have lived IN this Apartment for 100, one hundread, days.
I've probably written and typed about 100 pages. Probably 100 words on each.
STOP BEING SUCH A FUCK!
I love taking my Body out on Adventures.
I Suck. I'm Gay. I'm Retarded.
I have birth and death de fects.
I am always the same. I'm always good.
I love that ... I'm so cool and artistic.
    I'm going to listen to birds.
There are 3 more seasons of Kids.
Am I Lady .. or Lazy. Am I Selfish.
Am I Conscious.

The time for discomfort is now.
I Like the darkerness, it feels safer.
What's worse. Losing what I Love most or the thing that takes it away?
This feels like it's weird.
Good Reasons to Freeze to Death
3-8-15
I should have known. I wish I would have known. Is she going to cry and die?
I think the Books made some of the most important and most amazing music of the 21st century.

It's bizarre that sometimes when I've put clothes in the dryer, it has felt like one of the hardest things I've ever done. Not doing the dishes is almost a source of pride for me. I'm just totally averse to oing dishes. It's like there is something rewarding about seeing a sink full of dishes and thinking 'I'm not doing that.' It's relieving. Just wash one dish at a time. Wash a mug, wash a fork.

Beautiful blossoming sunshine
Singing loudly "ELF" , Living One Life
Come on down , We got all the people together
Proken Pike
Feels like we are somewhere else
Where I shower is very important to me
One of my biggest goals is to have an outdoor bathroom. Alone on an Island
There's a video game called The Witness
Why do I think I should kill myself so many times a day. I had a fever. It was just like a couple months ago. I felt bad at night. I almost passed out in the morning. I thought I would throw up. I sat and laid on the bathroom floor. I tryd to move and drink water.
 I start to feel better.

My Soul's Choice for Me
seeing and moving in all directions at once inward and outward. William H. Macy is my God Dad. Easter is Christmas. I cum on the inside of my penis.

                             Gone So Fast

God, you're tryin' to kill me. All the sweet boys, their sweet voices, and their sweet words
are trying to kill me
I let them a little.
Casimir Pulaski Day just made me cry again. I looked out the windows. 11:43 a.m. Thursday March 19, 2015. Rdio keeps playing Heartbreaking songs, Bright Eyes, Death Cab, Nowhere and Now, Lack of Color
Am I a movie?  I put on Mt. Goats Radio
      Don't Let Life Pass You By
              Are you Serious?

Last night I finally watched Bigger than Life. I was up till a little after one.

_=-=-=-===   Mini Weeks Later

I finished reading Kino and What the Hell Are You Doing?
I like them. I texted Aaron.
I thot of a book I could write called Text. Or I just thot of Text as a title.
That is what it is. Pat and Bridget are at the gym. Probably. I was watching Kids in the Hall Season 3, today and yesterday. Yesterday we went to Sherwood Forest Faire.
It's Monday March 30, 2015 AD 9:25 PM
I have decided to go to Toronto!
In a ababoout a Year. Woh. I can't write. I ittlele be nice to quit my Job. I guess I was too excited.
Softly Softly Catchy Monkey.

..........................................................................................
I LOVE EVERYDAY LIFE
HOME ECONOMICS!
.......... LONERGAN'S BIG BRAIN


 -  Can I fix myself or find myself ?

Julia Jane Josie Jaqueline Greg Crumbdick Carrol Carter Clement

Julia Grobe drove from home to Mr. Crumbdick's history class. Jane gave her a Danish with strawberry. Carrol had a sore on the back of his left hand, Julia saw he looked sad and distracted. Crumbdick slapped the green chalkboard with a lecture stick. Julia felt her oily hair that was not black and not as short as the hair on any of the boys' heads.

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She felt fatigue drag thru her body. She imagined herself sinking into watery shadows off a cliff in the ocean. She found herself staring at a poster of lesser know U. S. presidents. She mouthed 'what's the point.' She imagined her lunch periiod with anticipation. Sandwiches and sodas and talk about school games and music. She remembered her dad is coming to visit this week. She thought of zoos and chameleons. Carter tapped her chair with his foot. She looked over her left shoulder to see him making a V with his fore and middle fingers and flicking his tongue in the opening. He turned and snickered with his pal Clement. Julia's face tensed into a stony jagged frown quickly turned forward. She flipped her middle finger at him. To Julia's left, Josie rolled her eyes. Josie imagined throwing her desk at the window, screaming, and running outside. It was a pretty perfect day.

Mr. Crumbdick said, Excuse me, shuffled to the door, fumbled with the knob, and left. Two unnamed kids chuckled out loud, and 12 curled their lips and suppressed it. Jaqueline stood up and drew on the chalkboard a heart shape pierced by an arrow. Clement stared at her blue-jeaned ass, and his blue-jeaned penis became engored with blood. Jane looked around the room and thought of the names for the colors and shapes she saw...

Greg sat in the center of the room and wrote on a blue lined white sheet, 'I killed my family and raped a school.' Josie felt so horny and hungry and trapped that she almost cried. She laid her right arm on her desk and rested he forehead on her sweatered forearm. She sighed, trying to make no sound. She clenched her jaw and fists and squished her eyes closed as hard as she could. She thought of her little sister at home taking a bath and she felt the urge to laugh...

A feeling rose from deep within Josie. She focused on it. She began to relax.

Carrol strode determinedly toward the exit. The feeling climbed through Josie's throat. Instinctively she charged to the door, hand clasped over mouth, bashed Carrol away, and dripped bright reddish bluish vomit on his jeans. She hurtled down the hall to the Girls' Room. Groans and exclamations of disgust rang out from the class. Carrol was stunned, back against the wall for a few long seconds. He snuck out to the Boys' Room. Josie spat a mouthful of candy bile into the sink, went into a stall, sat on the floor, and sobbed.


Joesie, sits by the front doors. Hands folded, head down. She waits for her dad. She is going home.

Just Woke up from a Dream

The Zero Waste design makes for a socially responsible lifestyle.

!    !    !    !

Soooo.... Here We Are. Sexual Selflessness and Sexual Mortification

Perfect over flowing semen sample.

em bare ass ink       poops

Dr Rest Holly effleurages up my pain leg.

Unnecessary treatment of the soft tender flesh

Growing blood pockets twist and stretch and strengthen

Her split ends tickle my frothy navel.

Magnetic or magical or animal attraction, we close the gap between our breaths.

Wall alarms flash blinding blue. Her arms fold under you. Hot wet sway beat rhythmically push and pull over and over through and throughout. Pulses synchronize. Sweet creamy rolling oozing erupting bubbling dripping steamy soaking pumping loving sticky gooey plumping rocking meditating astronomical Bliss.

My Brother's Name

Hey, my brother's name,

Are you done squeezing honey on your biscuit?

Put the hollow plastic bear on my little white hand.

Hey, my brother's name,

I know you did not mean to fuck me up so bad.

I have learned to forgive as much as I can.

Now let's go and get busy to understand.

I wish we could see the stars and the moon,

but the clouds are nice too....


I come,
I come in peace.
I come for you,
when you least expect me.


Come on, live with me.
It gets much better than you think it can be.


I am much more afraid of being seen as a threat

than I am of being threatened.


Christ.... is all she can say....


Their names are.... Tom, Mat, and Kris....



We are going on Holiday very soon.

It may as well all be over now.


I have not begun yet.

What I will see will be what I have seen.