Song

I don't see the sun anymore
I don't see the wind
anymore
I see the black moon rise inside of me
I see a blood-filled tongue ride on the night sky

Beginning to End

Start to Finish

A Complete Story

A Complete Caracter


I WIN

Phisical Education AK Forty Sevens

^ That's a Twin Peaks DVD cover reference!!!


I am drunk on Gran Gala. I mixed it with ice and water.


Water and the Frozen version of water.


I am listening to Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata.


In the past two hours, I watched DVD extras interviews of Twin Peaks' Crew and Cast, in that order.


Yesterday I took a walk with Aaron in the evening. It had rained late in that day, and we carried umbrellas, but no rain fell on us.

We talked. He talked more. He talked about his special lady and music and the movie Gravity.

Yesterday, I listened to an episode of the Nerdist podcast, because Maria Bamford was the guest.


She is crazy.


I am on song number 4 of 5 of a playlist that Aaron made the day before yesterday. He is very proud of it.


I like it.


I am going to Toronto in 9 days.


I will work on farms for 2 months... maybe longer.


Winter in Canada


I wonder


Can I do it?


What will I do?


How can I be myself?


This plant has 449 leaves. I touch each one, from 2:24 pm Eastern to 2:45 pm Eastern.


On July 29th, 2016, year of our Lord, Melanie sat on a stump and curled her hair around her finger, thinking about a plane landing or crashing on South East Asia, near the Indian Ocean, and hundreds of human children's bodies are torn, mangled, and bleeding.


No one can be saved.


I like bacon.


My dad is dead.


My mom is unhealthy.


I hate waffles and I hate syrup.


I love cheese.


I do not like reading.


I love some television shows.


Music is like a horse erection... steady, strong, flowing, meat, happiness, arteries, and miracles... every time.



We are almost dead now. Pain is just a feeling. I hate everything, so I am above living or dying or feeling.


I am Zen. I am Nirvana. Despite all my wage, I am still just a Wat in a Page.

I am a what.

What is what.

I eat little green people. They live in the dirt of the Earth. I bend my fingers and squeeze green flesh in my pink hands.



..... Some time


I am listening to The Ergs! - dorkrockcorkrod

It is too much.

I want to be calm and clear.

I just watched The Chris Gethard Show, guest Maria Bamford.


I just Youtubed "beautiful music"



Song: Everdream

by Epic Soul Factory


hmmm

i got to pee

urine


I like simple games


I want to touch her little nipple


I want to cum slowly


I want to sleep for one hour by the most beautiful waterfall ever


Soul is

Blue and green and pink and white


Never eat dead people


I saw your nice eye be a good friend

* Song *

Leave the town and feed the town

Leave the town and feed the town

Leave the town and feed yourself


* No more song *


I wish I could be still

Be still my heart

Be still my eyeballs, and legs, and lips


I am having a cup of coffee mit honey


I want to listen to some good music

like Muscular Christians

There were a few or ten of their songs on Youtube that I did not get to that day

Ready?

I must remember to take the recycling to town today on my way to pick up mom from work


I think that is all I needed to do today


Oh, I need to buy sake too

For Aaron and I to drink tomorrow


Aaron is really cool and fun

but sometimes he makes me feel really bad

but he is so smart that I must need to feel that bad

so that I will change, so that I will not do the things that made him make me feel bad

so that I will do things that make me feel good

and that make him feel good

and he will make me feel even better about doing those good things

and I will do more good things

and I will be more good

and I will know more good


like making out at night with an attractive 26 year old woman who does good work and is an honest and intelligent and ambitious person


and doing dances and drinking Irish whiskey and planting trees and having great sex and having a baby and going for walks for hours and teaching children how to sew and buying grave plots and going to doctors and getting surgery and dying one day in the bath and crying for hours and going to funeral after funeral and writing memoirs and dying again and loving Jesus and some other boring shit

and having tons of fun

The End

It is tough going to sleep at night. Just feeling alive feels like it's killing me. I'm sorry. I've been opening and closing Hopkins. Whether I'm bored or excited, I feel too tired and my mind shuts down, and I feel bad: lost and confused, afraid and stupid, trapped forever, full of regret and nothingness (:

Have a Wonderful Awesome Day and Night, Apple Pie Nips!

Your suffering means nothing to me.

I feel better than I feel most of the time, when I stood and pulled up my underwear right after I pooped and wiped.


Your Suffering Is a Blessing.


I am my own damn Nod - Off on the Wide Level Play a Note One Trick Is a Pony Times Ten I love to make little tempts to over beware near Air Empty Wash Lobes Nescience and freedom to remember a lifetime .... Well, I never, and I Will.
Do you know how hot a good Person must drown, a while leaving hope to wind luck puss -- I have 3 names, 2 names, 1 names, I have a system, I am a method, I am as I do what I think Be a Right Angle over 40, Nice Night, Leftover horse dying humble human remains hum choke a cry at the 2nd reception, mouthful of bad biscuits and shirt stained with bloody punch
...
I wish he had more sense than nonsense

on a bed in a room with my mom at hotEl Dorado Terlingua, Texas

God's green eye

No eyes and a smile

6 most sensitive points of touch

Skin is crazy, psychologically



We got here last night. Pat and bridge got a room. None of us have been this close to Big Bend before.

I woke up at 3 something after sleeping like 5 hours.

I felt weird and kinda sad

But this makes me feel better

I am going to listen to more Chinese as Mr now

I wonder if studying linguistics would be good.

The Best Music and Lyrics, not in any order. [ except # 0 ] Of course ... this is just from my personal perspective. [ If a group is listed here and someone from it has a solo act, just assume I include that person on this list, thank you { :

0. Reggie Watts

1. Muscular Christians
2. Modest Mouse
3. Cribshitter
4. Grand Buffet
5. Tim Heidecker [ I guess with Wood too ]
6. Of Montreal
7. Neutral Milk Hotel
8. LCD Soundsystem
9. Bob Dylan
10. The Beatles
11. Arcade Fire
12. The Books
13. Sun Kil Moon
14. Blackaliscious
15. Daniel Johnston
16. Kimya Dawson
17. Frank Zappa
18. Captain Beefhart
19. The Mighty Boosh
20. Talking Heads
21. The Velvet Underground (and Lou Reed)
22. Laurie Anderson
23. Sufjan Stevens
24. Cat Stevens
25. Neil Young
26. The Beastie Boys
27. Bright Eyes
28. Louie C. K. [ why not ]
29. Nick Drake
30. The Clash
31. Adam Green
32. The Ramones
33. Woody Guthrie
34. Belle and Sebastian
35. CocoRosie
36. Saul Williams
37. David Bowie
38. Jeffrey Lewis
39. Dan Deacon
40. I Love You { I , Greg Wredberg , made up that name just now }
41. Architecture in Helsinki
42. Rilo Kiley
43. Tilly and the Wall
44. Stars
45. Eisley
46. Mates of State
47. Dead Kennedys
48. Rage Against the Machine
49. The Pixies
50. Beat Happening
51. The Moldy Peaches
52. Antsy Pants
53. Girls
54. Courtney Barnett
55. Regina Spektor
56. Laura Marling
57. Beck
58. Warren Zevon
59. Harry Chapin
60. Wii\lliam Wredberg { just kidding }
61. Harry Nilson
62. The Beach Boys
63. The Jesus and Mary Chain
64. Joy Division
65. New Order
66. Satanicpornocultshop
67. My Bloody Valentine
68. Animal Collective
69. The Flaming Lips
70. The Strokes
71. The White Stripes
72. The Swell Season
73. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
74. Xiu Xiu
75. Fleetwood Mac 
76. Smashing Pumpkins
77. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs 
78. Radiohead
79. Cake
80. Bruce Springsteen
81. Weezer
82. They Might Be Giants
83. Boats
84. The Killers
85. The Boy Least Least Likely To
86. Joni Mitchell
87. Edith Piaf
88. Enya
89. Sinead O'Connor
90. Four Non-Blondes
91. Bare Naked Ladies
92. The Lonely Island
93. Jimmy Hendrix
94. Red Hot Chili Peppers
95. Bob Marley
96. The Country Teasers
97. A Tribe Called Quest
98. Venetian Snares
99. The Chemical Brothers
100. The Knife
101. Peter, Bjorn, and John
102. Gogol Bordello
103. Ghostland Observatory
104. Ella Fitzgerald
105. Nat King Cole
106. Phantogram
107. Bishop Allen
108. Coldplay [ I guess? The songs that are more rock than pop. ]
109. Leonard Cohen
110. MGMT
111. Lower Dens
112. Elvis Perkins
113. The Kinks
114. Led Zepplin [ more for the music than the lyrics ]
115. Pink Floyd
116. The Magnetic Fields
117. Gorillaz
118. Death Cab for Cutie
119. The Postal Service
120. Simon and Garfunkel
121. Why?
122. Louis Armstrong 
123. 
     
124. 
     
125. 
     

i am finally beginning to read

aaron came over today

we talked for almost two hours

i type this as a way to make it more clear to myself

it is somehow satisfying to memorialize and get a new perspective on myself

it seems to mean more to me when reality becomes this form also

it feels fuller

more diverse

i feel i get more control by making these words out of what seemed to be nothing

i am tired

later, internet diary person computer friend


....... ;P

Nothing Ever Really Ends

Love based reasoning


This is an improvised poem


My Gods live like a Billionaire who has no nationality and is above all laws, including the laws of nature and God.


One minute after dawn, He walks from his big awesome bed to his patio. It's a nice day. Whatever that means to you.


He drinks a long cup of Green Lovely Clear Perfect Coffee Drops of the Nectar of Pure Eternal Eternity


I write very good


I love having fucking sex


I am a good god


White Men are the Best!


I am about to Give you a Good Life,

I am Going to A nother place on the Planet Earth

I am a Car and a Bus and a Train and a Road and a Field of Grass and a Farm House and a Hot Sexy 41 year-old white lady from Ontario, Canada









The End


but do not worry or anything like that


because Nothing Ever Really Ends

The-Resurrection-of-Jesus-Christ.jpg

Tryin' tryin' to try
a little good, a lit'le bet'ah.

       Dear tiny woolen,
Be a baby sheep, little longer
Don't fry lady tires of waste with late eye goo
- goo Ga Ga-Ga, be a lazy dick suck retard fuck
baby later ass stupid ugly lazy ugly stupid
unfortunate brain, label Insane, Unrespectable.
Labor, Cage, Pain, Slave, Idiot, Rhetoric,
Doubly, Lazy, Fuck shit, Time, Later,
Injustice, Excuse, Waiting

       Bigger Period

Hard hate, Short words, Incomplete Though--

       . . . Dot, Expression

Best taste, Quick coffee in a White Mug

It is still ... morning ...

יֵשׁוּעַ

OK

Y

WHY


OK

OH

KAYE


I LOVE YOU FOREVER


A K O


i ... do ... not ... KNOW.  kay  en  oh  double you

I have not The Mind.

Mind is not with Me.

Mind never was Me.

Mind and I will be Me and Us and Them...

This is spiritual reasoning.



I shall become Erect, I and the penis I am closest to ....


I shall consider conceiving a child with a woman, if we are capable and confident that creating a person together would be better than not creating one.


I think I would rather adopt.


Also, I would rather like to have no immediate responsibilities toward any specific person.... Other than myself.


I am going to read now for a while after I eat and plant that plant in the garden.



bye.


Hello, Again.


Mom wrote a hilarious note. At the top is "7 Kingdoms:"

The next line says, "Westeros = continent"

Then it's a list of 7 Kingdoms.


I wonder why she wrote it.

She may have been testing her trivia knowledge.


I think Game of Thrones is stupid.

Or maybe not.

But I get annoyed at people who seem to love it a lot.

It seems dumb.

I have listened to my mother and brothers discuss names and events from the show.

Mom has read the books too. It makes me kind of sad.


She bought 2 novels by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. She plans to read them. I like that. I'm happy about that.


I need to read.

But first I think I need to eat.


I did everything.


I am happy now.

The End.

Jimmy, 24 Hours in the Life

I want to write, altering people's Mind.

Turn your couch into a boat.

Jimmy and Carly ate raw hot dogs, but that was 6 hours ago, and they have been flailing hard and wriggling towards the lit base on the high hill.
They need food; they need fuel. They want a soft large bed to cuddle on... a dry bed... a clean bed.
Central America needs international humanitarian aid. I am that aide. Me.
Jimmy and Carly need my resourcefulness and my expertise on a variety of vital life-sustaining practices and pleasures!
I'm working on my upper back right now.
Semi-verbal, semi-audible, semi-erect Demi God, Hot bitch, Cute, Cute Baby!
Oh, shit! Fuck! I forgot Kevin Rymes at the yohghurt-meat dock.
He eats his feet if he's left alone for 11 minutes.

Jimmy prepared his mind and body....
He thanks his past self. He puts photos of himself on an altar.
He writes a note real quick:
           farm bunnies eat my eyeballs, my brother is a suicidal mass-murderer.
He stands up straighter. He purses his lips then gives a serious kiss to the cosmos. He kills his desire then lovingly cradles its stiff little corpse. He puts his dead D-sire to bed, rests its engorged head on a perfect pillow, and gently strokes its tender brow....
Jimmy slips his flops on and walks to the 7-11 at the end of his block at 11 a.m.

to Aaron

J f egg k. B xnvj b.  LG dB Mcbride. Mcdonald jekyll. Paraiso Kalahari landscape bandleader Krishna offscreen itched using usher crock native Maysville Cisneros hatchback brisk brisket Nashville stockbroker brickyard

There's alcohol in my body's blood. ........ I love you more than anyone and I'm sorry for stuff that sucks. I just watched Louie with my mom. "Life" is supremely amazing again at this moment. Canada is so close...... airplanes-deadbabies-mountainsofsemen-godsfattears... you love this text, sleepwell my Friend. ;j

Hadley Delany [ I have no fucking idea.... ]

Oh yeah ... Louie

Well..... shit.....
. Blow job. ....  god damn.

Sir, you are niece.

I have no quarrel and we shall tarry to another summer.

This is just.  A night of subtle consequences. I'm sick. I hate this. I love life. I love Eternity. I 6
I am 8


It runneth fee it 7 TV Fri t tuff Ryan irk

J f egg k. B xnvj b.  LG dB Mcbride. Mcdonald jekyll. Paraiso Kalahari landscape bandleader Krishna offscreen itched using usher crock native Maysville Cisneros hatchback brisk brisket Nashville stockbroker brickyard

CGI of What I Remember

There was a girl named Taylor at my high school.


-- Fun... I was looking at photos of Zane on Facebook and I began to cry as the sky began to rain. --


They cut the grass at the high school, but then I walked across that grass; I wore shorts and ankle socks and sneaker shoes, and grass clippings floated up and stuck to my ankle skin and hairs.


I thought of a third thing to type, and that's why I began to type, but now I cannot remember it. Trees. Sunshines.


The faces and lives and the date 26 December 2011 made me teary-eyed.


No one that movie.


I thought of this on the toilet:

What is not?

What is is?

Is is is?

What is is-is?

What is not-is?

What is-is is?

Is is-is is?


Is that philosophy?

Or brain poops. I got the idea from Aaron and McShane, who got it from Lonergan I think.



Oh yeah I forgot I really have to poop. Be right back.


OK. I pooped.


No. I was telling you to 'be right back'.


I ate 3 do nut holes.


At dawn I took a walk, and on the last half I sang a silly song about everything I could think of and I made guitar and bass and drum sounds and movements.


I just imagined working on the farm in Canada and having diarrhea, poopin' my pants, crying, and being

really sad, nervous, and ashamed.

I walked out of the bathroom a minute ago, after poopin' and flushin' and rinsin' and robin', and I felt

really good and happy about myself and my surroundings and the current time of day.

Arby's Big Mac Chucky Cheese Token's HIJKLM

I have two first names and no other names.

The order of my names is arbitrary and changes for no reason.

The name I thought of first is HIJKLM.

My other name is Arby's Big Mac Chucky Cheese Token's.

FB Memory

This was a status(ofcourse) it is also fiction, it is also flywriting, i am also pajamas impromptu, iam also lazybird, also meat

11 May 2011 at 12:16

PublicFriendsFriends except acquaintancesOnly MeCustomAustin, Texas AreaFamilySee all lists...Sprouts (grocery chain)Bastrop High SchoolBastrop, Texas AreaAcquaintancesGo Back

it is nice to think that eating an egg is like eating a chicken's period. oh maybe not i don't want to finish these eggs, just because they don't taste so great, as Im not a good cook. It is unreasonable to eat just garlic salt, it's best on rice, i bet i would eat garlic salt gum. I am never going to eat veal. I need to grow some food. foodsticles. food keeps me alive, but also, when i make poor choices it can make my life shorter. i'd like to live a life where all that concerns me is what i eat and where it comes from and how i get it into and out of me. for some reason, that makes me think of living in hills near los angeles, but who would want to breathe that air? I'd just live somewhere between here and there, where it's natural but also comfortable enough for my modern mindset, in which ideal living takes place in clean interiors with electronics and convenience. So i guess i will keep exploring and find a way someday, i'll need a lot of help, because that's how I am. Goodnight day. Peace to your mother!

3 to 5 Seconds of Beautiful Thought

Bring me back someone.
A nude Siberian midget with a big fluffy white vagina.

Bow full of quivers.
Nickel full of quarters.
Berry full of cherries.

Communion

It takes people years to realise the absolute importance of Good Communication.

It takes even longer to practice Good Communication.

Some Humans hardly ever Communicate.



Someone, who believes

ALL Christians are delusional

because Christianity is a delusion,

is hypocritical.

And is basically

lying, maybe not aware.



I  AM  honest.

I have no data to prove anything to anyone other than myself.


I know what I think and feel and believe.


It is very difficult to be a Person.


It was hard for me to get here.


It will, and should always be hard.


I keep fucking up in the stupidest ways.


I want to die.

I want to live.

I want to be eternal.

I believe I am eternal.

My body is not fully understandable.


Jesus Christ is an Infinite Mystery.


Maybe Instead of Jesus Christ,

I'll call Him Myster Infin


I have often been obsessive and dis-associative.


I need more patience and a much longer attention span.

Messy

Body-Ache shaped as A
Night-Horse Pain-ting,
Who gallops in place
At full speed for Eternity.
O, the Who-Manity.

I am free money:
Now You love me!
Rough Consummation,
I'm not a mess,
But I'm messy.