Shame and Honor

I want to start a charity called God's Left Hand. It should help forgotten people.

Sometimes I hate Myself and Every Person who is Anything Like Me.

I want Them to See the Hand Being Raised,

Sharp heavy object gripped tightly,

The Soft Head of the Child

Exposed

For the Sacrifice,

The Shame,

And stop the Hand

To Honor

A Possibility.

Gregory Wredberg's Peak Self-Significance!

Hi Gregory,

In July I have room for you from July 8th to July 15th .  Does that fit into 
your plans?

melanie

B.O.O. 8:46 A.m. Memorial Day, 2,016, 139 Michele Dr. 78602 Texas, United States of America, Planet Earth, Galaxy named The Milky Way, This Reality, As Myself

open

page

me

body

meet


poor

health

self



Help.


Thank You.

I'm a big baby.

I'm almost a baby again.

Hee name is Sara, S A R A.

Back

But now I stare at an air vent.

Stay Away and Go Talk to Him, He Doesn't Care Which You Choose

Catastrophic Sciences
Imbeciles and Lionesses

I see through the hole in your eye.
You see through the holy sky.

I saw a man lying on his butt.

I thought, I know that he is thinkin',
"I feel no pain when I am drinkin'!"

email . . .

Poems

I just read [I started typing this two days ago.] "As kingfishers catch fire" a few times. I tried a few different ways and speeds. I let myself be distracted way too much, but I got a bit better. I really love it. I read another one I love: "It was a hard thing".


I have not made complete sense of this line: "Deals out that being indoors each one dwells".


A few days ago, I googled Meghan, looked at her face a bit more, then I read a couple pages of her paper,

Empirical Exercise: The Dynamics of Knowing .

I kind of tried to do that exercise too with Towards Self Meaning. I failed pretty hard and gave up.

I like her writing. It is strange and fun feeling that I kind of know her. And she is so Awesome.

I hope she and I meet in the next couple of months! Are you still concerned that she might prefer me? ;P

... two days later:

I want to get this out the way first:    I keep thinking about Suicide. Of course I do not want to die or to kill myself or hurt myself... but I am curious. The Pain is just baffling.

It sucks I have only slept about 3 or 4 hours at night, three out of the last four,  including last night. I compulsively surf the internet, a lot of Youtube and music. 

I journaled a little. I wrote and edited some poems too, which is me at my best I think.

I have weird energies. I'm sure you know the feeling. Kind of a drunkenness. 

I'm too fucking horny. I haven't watched porn or jacked off for about a week I guess. I'm still intent on avoiding porn and frequent masturbation.  Still, I have been watching or listening to ASMR videos, and sometimes they turn me on intensely.

Sorry I forgot to send this last night. I carpooled to work with Mom and then she agreed to babysit Sofie, so I went too. Maybe two hours or more wasted, but I most likely would have wasted them at home too. Optimism!

FUCK! I am so sorry that I fed you bullshit about why I stopped pursuing Jada. I felt wrong doing it, but I guess it was too painfully shameful to admit that, Yes, I am intimidated, and I don't want to try for fear of failing. I want to call her today. That makes me happy. I resign to try. It will be easy to move on if she and I get nowhere. Any outcome will be better than not trying and wondering about her and what we could have done for eternity. Scary! Hah {: 

Nothing from Anna. She has probably lost her chance with me. It is a probably a bigger loss for her, since I believe you when you say I'm awesome. 

I am sad that I have not heard from the five WWOOF hosts I emailed. I need to send more immediately. 

God... will it... I just wonder what makes it so hard; I wonder what pain is and why

I hope you and I meet again asap. Sorry for anything and everything. 

I Eagley await our communion.

I love you so much AAron! Bye for now. May God be with You!

- Greg

Your Mother

Please don't love me
Not like this

I don't want to cry
Like your mother (or Sofia, Lauren...)

When you left her...

Body...

Cold.

Please let me know,
Clearly answer me,
Why is my self-hate
Still blind while

Other-Love evermore
thoroughly loves me.


--- Cut Here

Fuck me I'm retarded
Suck the big dick-hole
Lay me in the casket with Your Mother

10 Years of Porn End Tonight

By this frighteningly simple lightning,
I let long rec-tangles of bodies stain my reflection
Between dark glints of raindrops
In our front yard.

On the limitless black limbs
Of the  [e:]  those dying oaks, rest the dead blues
Of Night.

Under the power position ( Antarctic Summer )
Huge metaphysical metal meat hooks
Gouge my sunken dim eye-bags and carry me

Down through sewer-molasses flesh
At life speed, a groan,
An ever-growing growl, deep

In the heat-death of the wet tight
Followerse.

God

I wish it didn't hurt so much for no reason.

I guess It is part of God's revealing of Themselves to me, in me...

Part of Their "plan" maybe

I worry about my mom a lot.

Is she sad?

When will she die?

I love Dan Harmon.

kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

Crischans

I think

millions people are

aware of God

but they Reject 

Jesus.

They say,

"

How is that possible, Right?

I know the laws of nature.

I know 

WHAT GOD WOULD DO.

"

So....

Everyone is Christian

What should I do?

I am supposed to relate my experience.

I'm not trying to convince anyone.

I cannot force anyone to listen to themselves.

I cannot force them to listen to the Force within them.

I just choose to believe what I want to.

I Am So... Anna Is. [ I Began This as a Text to Aaron but Decided not to Send It and Just Tell Him about It When We Next Met in Person ]

this HTML Fahhhhhhk! (: I'm so excited. I just now talked to Anna! I thought she would not answer. She was a bit wary. She told me she was "available" the first time I asked her out, but now she is "with" someone.   She said she wanted to be up front.  She said something about still seeing friends. I was able to talk coherently and somewhat carefully. I'll try to be concise with you here. I am considering waiting to tell you about this, in person I think. Yes I  will wait. I am afraid of foisting myself on another keeping both of us from growing. Value is Fahhhhhhk! (: I'm so

My Last Most Powerful Free Write

Page 3

Here is an exercise - write about a random
Dictionary word ( I am drinking a Margarita on Rox )
The word is "schoolbook" Here I go: I am
scurred of Spiders and In Sex, Maybe -
I can squush 'em with a big book, like
one for school Learnin, like a big dicked
professer man who teechy teachers
like they big breast after school, GO
Die you fuckin' Hole Loser Fuckwit
Pervert ASSHHOOOOLLLe (=
I am Fuc / Funny and EVILASFUCK
YOUMOTHERRFUCKINGAYASS
FUCCCKKKIN HOLERetard
Fuckin' peice of Cumdirt
Shit GODYOUDAMNHELL ... jeez us

Page 2

I Love the photo and text of
GillIan   Jacobs that I
tacked to my bedroom wall. OK - write
more Legibly - I do not know how to spell that -
but I think Legibly may be correct... aaron.
I like to think of Names for people as
totally meaningless. A better name for Aaron
would be My Best Friend Forever, My Soul's Twin
I believe I am a very Good writer person.
I like Jesus Christ, the God person, a lot,
like he is my good friend or my good parent.
I want to go slow. I want to sleep perfectly, more like
AAron probably does. I should read
wiht most of my time. why am i so terrified
and petrified more than half of my conscious time.
I want some easy-to-follow guidelines for My Life, OK?

Page 1

I gotta write. It is the only way...
for me... I need direction. It's stormy.
I need love... I'm not sure what that means.
but it makes me begin to cry. I've had a full
wineglass of redwine just now. I feel cool....
Good. - that is a strong word. I almost
do not know what I will write next.
I'm Dad. I want my body to be Every-
Thing. Now I shall write more slowly
and neatly. I love Aaron, my only
friend, much more than anyone can ever put
into words... that last sentence is making
me cry liquid from my face holes. Eyes and nose.
I like Patrick, one of my 3 brothers,
a lot. I like Tim, but he is more
difficult to understand. I love


myself
so much
it hurts me.
... how. ow. how. Hi.










fin

Language and Means and Choice to Better Understand *Everything*

Lonergan, Verbum
Nice Guy
Nice Words
The Best Good

Living in the woods

Two humans fuck and conceive a new human.

Boring and sad

Because I am ugly and unhealthy, both by choice.


I want to make you feel good, because I feel more sorry for you and them than I can believe or understand.

I am nowhere near understanding.

Understanding means God.

Pure and infinite Understanding.


Sent to Aaron:

I don't know if you would get anything from listening to it [Courtney Barnett's Sometimes I Sit and Think and Sometimes I Just Sit] [ or me ] other than knowing a bit more about me. I hope I am not typing too much for you to read and think about and taking your time away from others deserving of your time.... ohhh, sigh. 

APL Incidents Reports

On 5/15/2016 at approximately 7:43PM, at Faulk Central Library, a white female in her late 30’s came inside the library without shoes on. She walked fast and went directly to the snack area. I walked over to her and said hi. She went off and told me to F--- off and to leave her alone. She was getting a soda. That she had been tazed today and didn’t care to hear what I had to say. She got the soda and began to walk towards the front doors. She was using foul language the whole time and yelling really loud. I walked behind her and told her to leave for the day. This woman is clearing on something, skin ate up and she is always shaking. She is well known at most libraries South Austin. She speaks every loud and get in trouble a lot. EOR


No blood ever left Mr. Utler's arm.  I disposed of all blood related materials in the proper manner.
Mr. Utler said he scraped his arm on the wall at the corner of Diane's office as he was walking to the front of the building.  We checked the location and saw no evidence of blood.  Throughout most of our interaction with Mr. Utler, he insisted he didn't want help and didn't need a bandage, but the blood was flowing a little too freely on his arm to ignore



2006 a.d.

Emptying bags out of trash cans walked over to me. He wanted something out of the trash. Called me names stupid MF. Then he started to fight with me hitting my arms beating on me with both of his arms and fist calling me names.

Engine, Live by Jeff Mangum on YouTube, in Our Quiet Living Room, Mom Lies on Her Bed, Home Sick

Mythology of Dad's younger weird male friend, late 1990s, Deep South Winter, cozy rooms, free and easy alcohol, timeless record of Light and Sound, mutilated reality, hefty burger, caramelized memories, eerily fresh and eternally real.


When I think of how he sings or think of how he plays and moves,

I feel I see him cry happy tears of a sad color, but they cannot be seen or felt.

Bilingual, mistaken tears flow out of his skin, flesh, hair, sweater, instruments and voice,

and his-head-sized tear-clouds float past him to his longest spacey future,

full of ever larger instruments and ever louder,

even more beautiful hurtful vacuous voices.

I just wrote this on paper

Is-pods balance on my ache-egg palm -
Beige clay shell cracks and crumbles after
my christened keratin over-growth pokes
eight-pointed north-aligned Figure A
holy theory microscope radioactive imprint
of a creative begetting semi-somnolence
teased crying-wound-colored bakery formula,
scratch street noon-hour high heat cordial
blister skein through Meghan's burnt sun
late Autumn, too late for give hairy
mess age of 24, 25, 26 Hot Left
fingering the border You and I for got
glisten forecast over 30 blue
dark inside fire glean pus
a 7th sunset intersection enter
her sex, ion Caress

beating lime sick fluid 11th erase sponge
yellow heart blush gushes sticky women
spark neat bile Even Goddamn Special
symmetrical blue-eyed green-sore mouth
fucking bane pain whorish queen lose
piles bleed button Top mischief
Forgive, I am open, lost, Now, begin
to Lay out, explain, detail, grey forest
Alone with hard Life, Peck at a shell
New Foreign, sight brings a little soul
of strawberry skin holes; I press Anna for
an illumination of her sickness sorrow and
more so her fire blooming
consummating A Right rigid
Assignment Blessed I impress
......... myself

Visualizations of eternity and infinities

a cow runs to the hori-
zon and eats 100 window-
sky-feathers in 3 seconds.

If I Were an Animal

I forgoRt what I wanted to say.



I read a true story and I believed every word.



Christ and Masturbation



"Tragic Stupid Silly Moment" - Louie , by louie ck



If I were an animal:
I would not think
about God
or at all.

Instinct is my God.


I see leaves.
I don't want to eat those.

I eat other animals.

I run away from Danger.

I am a stranger.
God is a Stranger.

I vomit the rotten water.
This earth is getting hotter.

I fall down the hill.
God wants to kill
me, so he does.

I rot and get eaten.
My Life Has More Meanin'.

I cry from the Sky.
I am final-I
Happ-I.
I know a cool guy.

His fuckin' name is

Jesus Fuckin' Christ.

My name is Kzrxtschccqxrxz

I'm Polish or something.

It is so Fun-to-see.


I understand now.

I understand you.

no ends

I realised (I am from the USA and still live there, but that's just mostly how I automatically type 'realise', and I like it more than with a 'z'.)


I realised... today, while shelving non-fiction books at my library,

that my thinking of killing myself (no matter how generic or purposeless)

is disrespectful to everyone and everything.

I feel a basic social responsibility.

I feel sorry for people in physical pain,

and I feel more sorry for people living hopelessly horrific lives.

Middle East, Africa, Asia, South and Central America, NPR stories, ignorance, narrow-mindedness, generalization, Colonization, Globalization, Homogenization, meaninglessness


About a day ago, I briefly thought of joining the Peace Corps again.

I am scared of going somewhere close to places where many people have been killed by other people,

and where people fear that other people may kill them.


I would much rather live on a peaceful place on Canadian soil.

Easy life, easy mind.

I can wait.

I fear death.

I fear God.

I fear myself.

I fear others.

I fear fear.

I do not understand the meaning of fear.

I understand next to nothing.



There

I have to go

now

Bye

{:

love

to no end

Benevolence

Skin-free skin

Popping pores full of festering bulbous bug shit.

Guys like women with big healthy funky able heart messes.


I like red hot Hero-worship hard soul danger mutations.


My Mother ate 6 thousand 5 hundred ham-pocked Horse hormone face drench, before the day she became my memory.




Aaron of my memory.


Four Stars


To Elude the Will of My Evil Self


To Live and Elude the Eluding of the Benevolence of My True Self




Vulcan Hair

http://educadora85.blogspot.com/2012/09/una-pequena-autobiografia.html

hoy Yo soy la luz del poder de dios

today I am the light of the power of god

[ The above was typed today, May 6, 2016. The below was written (and drawn) with black-inkpen on paper yesterday, 5-5-16, and is in the process of being typed this night, 5-6-16. That is all. Now back to your schudeled programming. {: ]


Fuck hell. I am lucid,.. lucifer.

There must be god in me. It is Logical.
It is the Law.

Dear, Everyone

Our faults. We belong to everything.
everything are beelawng to weeeee
I am an imperceptible Human.
I am in touch with Infinity ----
Say Absolutely Anything, My God.

What else would you have me do?
What could be better than this?

I'm listening to Good News For People Who Love Bads News. I am still young, I guess. Relatively.
I like Dancing. Automatico  {: day to


How should I know? I should know as best as I can. I can. I think I am.
I was born out of my Mom on the afternoon of December 18, 1989 a.d.
Pure Perfection
"Everything is going to {...} fine."
"So, Darling, why are we..."
I'm listening to Hotel Books. I like Constant Conclusions. Sometimes everything is too hard.
 - This Is The First Time This Is The Last
Time . . . , , . . " { - -
I expect to die. Now is Ever.
Now I meet Yes. Do I do
Yes   I   guy   Sweet Night Yay I.


I really Like the album Run Wild, Young Beauty.
I may have drunk too much coffee. My heart or my head may explode.
Problems. Struggle. Challenge. Truth.
"It might be a test, or it might not be anything for to worry yy about. And if you're still in doubt, go and knock yourself out.
Fight Fires. Fight Darkness.
Will. William. Dad. God. Being. Mind.
Language. Life. Body. Soul. Eternity.
Judgement. These are a few things I wonder about. I ask why. I pray to myself. I am not God. I know a lot. I need to understand.
Lenerd COHEN {{;:  Home Not Alone, Best. OK  ( =


It's May 5, 2016. I'm 26 y.o. and about 5 more months. My dad woulda been 71 y.o. today. It's 12:57 p.m. I am in the house at 139 Michele Drive Bastrop, Texas, United States of America, Earth. This Language is English. It is popular among humans, animals of the species homo sapiens. Sapiens is Latin for Intelligent. Homo means gay. Gay is happy. Happy is me. "I'm glad I'm not you."
An American girl's white/peach face.
I knew that. I'm a "writer"
I know very very little, I know.

Diary

I must leave this place in 30 minutes...

OH, no. I was mistaken. I must leave in One Hour and Thirty Minutes.

I should shower in the next hour.


I do not want to be stinky.

I want to be courteous to and respectful of the people who will probably be near to me,

If I go to work. [: Maybe Anything will happen before that happens.



I am listening to Andrew Bird. The album is Fingerlings 4. Dance of Death. [:


It is calm

It is nice

It is pretty


........

It's okay. My head aches a little.


I need to eat.


I am addicted to several things. Mostly technologies, thoughts and ideas.


That is not an excuse. I made myself addicted, and I think I could cure myself with a little help, which I would need to seek.



I have to eat something before I have to begin to drive to my job in about 15 minutes.



I would like to be Andrew Bird.

Not as opposed to myself.


I am just curious and envious and admiring.



All right I have to stop typing for a while.


Byebye again

Oh hello.

This screen is so bright

It is not even a star or a quasar.


I want you to know that I am tired and it is 1:19 pm and I am scheduled to be at the Cepeda branch of the Austin Public Library at 4 p.m. today.


I like being alive.


I like doing things

and making choices.


I want to go somewhere nicer.................


I like cute girls. I want to touch one of them. I want her to hold me and make me feel happy for a little bit.

It is stupid I know,


but everything is stupid (still worthy) relative to God, who created everything and are omniscient, They know everything.


They can do anything and everything.


I do not believe this fully,


but it is fun to think about,


and it is fun and feels real to share my thoughts.


Hopefully,

We shall connect soon.


I hope

that I understand


something.

[: all right


Later, My nooger. Peep!

Written on Paper Writing Tablet

      I sing to mysel. F. I need to save

everyone and everything.

I need to see the end of time. I need to

know what happens.

I cry eye contact with peace officers. My wide eyes leak saltwater. My mouth frowns.
I say, " I need to die. I ate all my friends."
Officer Peepoo look at floor. He sigh short.
He say, " Now- I know that that ain't true.... D'you wanna teel uz tha trew'th naw?"
I oopem mah Ize whydurr ant zay,
" Poppa don' preetch.
I needz mah licker baybee.
Poopee - Y'No muh naym -
Jiss lemme go - Eye Killem . "

Theend !

Diary

I sit on a chair. It is wood and cushion and fabric.

I touch a laptop keyboard. The laptop is on a desk.

Two dogs lick the floor and herself within a few feet of my body.

All I am wearing is shorts from Academy.

Bug bites on my legs itch.



I am listening to The Ghost of Corporate Future (Live in California) --

Now I am not


I am listening to All My Friends (Live at Madison Square Garden) by LCD Soundsystem.


I am about to make a third cuppa coffee.


I stayed up till about 4 A.M. looking at facebook and youtube.


" .... For another five years of life."

Cream of Strong Menses

Kill
Open her flower

Her FLow Errrrr, I err, so thata mean I am a HUm bUm

HahHAHAHAHAhahLshcosdnbwejbv/lhvvbd. nsdfivo ,u bcno;eyvc uhj bhil
nigga

I open the ore. I oar the Bow Rote. Be a Tiger. You make One Hundred Billie Men Goat Fucker I fuck her ball out of the sack that I were Born to do It You rape Me Rape Rape Me RPRMEPMAMERMEPMRPMAPSPAMRRMEPAMAPREEPAMPMREPREMEPPAMRPES



OK!


This is fun I fuck Myself.


I want to die.


I love going gooshy shopping.




I can heer words. I hear instruments. Storm Menses. I melt a baby. Shelder put a baby in a blender feet first.


The infant human screams. Blood curdles in the hot machinery. No one dies. Infinite Suffering


I love my name. My name is god.


You will know my name is the Lord.


I am the Law.



This is not insane.


I am drinking Coffee. Caffeine. It is good.


I am good. I am happy. I am doing good. I am doing well.


Little Bit of Coffee Mate Natural Bliss Vanilla Creamer.



I need to Fucking Read Right Now and Until I Die, Very Soon, As In the Next One Hundread Yeeeeerz


I am a monkey Father.


I need Restitution. Reputation. Around the school for being strange. I go with boys. I am tight. Like a Pussy.

I fuck retards. I fuck virgins.


I am always safe.


I like Music.


Music is real.


I am Just Gregory.


Help me.


My account has been hacked.


This is my modus operandi. That is Latin for Mode of Operation.


Look at my letter:


P
P
K
D
F
J
U

K
OO
P

QRS

1.


Help me.


Haha. What are you really thinking?


I wish to God I could hear your thoughts.

You are someone reading my blog.

Maybe I asked you to.



How much is true.


People are not bodies. That is true.


People are more infinite than Nature.

I am less infinite than Jesus.


Jesus is a name.


My name is Greg.


My name is Judge... arrested deevelope-ment.


Open the book.


Any book.


I open my ass.


It is time to go.


Pooooooo

P


You look all right.


Your hair is



Fine.



FIN



F   i   n   i   t   e



EOR


end of report


Gregory Douglas Wredberg, signing off

Over and Out.

*Click*

A Gift to Our Generous Supporters

Dear Sufferer,

Only what you make will give you a peace.

A round full word, a whole community

Promise to practice your part.

Give me time, give me space

I will make an invisible circular organism.

Don't leave me alone with my made-up responsibility.

I have a plan written on my writing path.

Collect calls 'cross country, living

Reimagine X-ray scanners research

Poor health insurance scammer, recently fired from 

retail, sleeps on sofa in brother-in-law's basement.

Soothe the nerve pain of millions

of retired Satellite subscribers.

Enter 4 digit code on back of Outback to survive,

because you're a mother, a wife, a child, a life.

Facebook first draft

 Hi, y'all. Hope yore 'avin' ay G'day. Peace Out Famebook! I should follow through with some better ideas, but paradoxes exist: i want to do better, but better is more difficult and more rare. If everything were better, there would be nothing to do and no way to exist.

Southern Justice (This Reminds Me of The End of the Tour and DFW's TV Addiction and His Thoughts on Entertainment Technology and the Future.)

I've just been watching Southern Justice on TV. My heart beat faster. I felt like crying. I felt like I was taking part in an uncertain, dangerous situation. I'm glad I am watching that show. I don't want to stop.

It's funny, [: Blaha!... I just saw an ad for a new episode of Southern Justice that airs tonight. I shed two tears. My nose is runny.

Why is this me?

Also, right before this commercial break, the cops on the show got a call about a guy threatening suicide... so...


I feel like I am crying

.......

oh my god ......................


can you hear very quiet screams too? ...



I am so alone. And so beautiful: I feel so beautifully, so perfectly...


I am happy. I am content.

I am crying more.



The young man on Southern Justice.


The cops found him in the basement. Alone in a house. Like me right now (except the dogs, I guess.)


There were cans of beer. I think he was drunk. The cops told him that they were there because his mom was worried about him.

-- He walked away from them. He faced a wall and began to cry. He had cut his arms. They took him in for protective custody. They said they were just there to help him. One cop said it was a dangerous situation, but "luckily, he just cut himself." I laughed out loud. I stood up. I began to cry. I felt strange emotions. I was so grateful for these people on the show and the people who made it and broadcasted it, and other people like them. Who do some kind of artful reporting. Some kind of meaningful entertainment. Honest and kind observers. Humans trying to live, trying to do well. I am proud of these people. I am proud to be a person. I am capable of something. I plan to try to do a few things. --

... We are special people ... ...  I just don't know. Days and nights. Star and electricity. Cars and houses. My eyes. My hands. My brain.

Umbilical.

Nikki Rader... again. I am god again. I eat tacos... again. I cum inside her... maybe... I guess that I still do not know.

Why.

I am a puppy. I want to drink a cup of milk. A bowl of fresh cool milk. I am Neutral Milk. I cum rain bbuckets. I am The Rain. I love myself. I love pretty girls. I love good cops. I love TV and all of my senses.

I have senses that I am not even aware of yet.


I believe that I am eternal.


I believe in God. God wipes my baby.


I feel weird.


I ate shit pizza rolls. I am Shit.

Two prepubescent white boys spent the night in a cheap motel with their father. The Deep South. The late 1990s.


I never want to die. I want to feel good. I suk.


My best friends are: God. James Joyce. My penis. Hell. A fat guy alone on a queen bed in a small house: he is about to die. He killed his heart. McDonald's ate his life. He was born a baby. His parents were half-conscious.


This will be a beautiful work of art.


If I can still be alive.

No, I mean really alive.

I mean fully concious.

We drive to the Alamo draft house.



Gee, wheeze... ... How can I explain this to you?


How do I explain myself?

What do I have

to say for myself?


Please send me a letter.


Please make me answer your phone call.


Please make me clean myself.


Please.

I want to do things that make my body better.


I want to conquer Mount Olympus.


I must keep going.


I cannot feel myself.


Let me ask why again.


You are the reader. You are also God.


This is my purpose and my meaning.


I cut down the unsafe tree. He was a middle-aged oak. He spoke to an electrician.


I must exit myself for now.


The End


[ ;


P.S.
I am listening to The Hill by Marketa Irglova. Yesterday Mom and I watched the last good while of Once on TV.

I broke down

I build myself up

The The End

The Pigeon-Hole Tree

"Give me your money," said the cash registrar. Heraldo smirked, cuz he didn't want to give any money. He moved to the exit of the cafe and told Cash, "Nooooooooh!" Cash wound up its fist hole and yelled at Heraldo, "Don't stop your fly feet on my damn pet carpet!" But, Heraldo Rivers already slunk away under the hot Mississippi clouds. The blue river fell sideways into the full pool of Mexico. "I just said, 'You are God.' Why are you still talking?" posed Heraldo to the pigeon-hole tree.
           Last Saturday, 6 A.M. -
Mary's breath was like a litening storm, but I dunno how. She pushed Heraldo onto the bed like a whirl of a girl, who's 4 globes short of a world, where birds don't live past 9. "Mary told Heraldo about the pigeon-hole tree," said Aly to the yellow cafe bottom.
           Lost Saturday A.B.C.
Gim flew in from Haiti at 5:35. He sat at the terminal and ordered fish and wine. He ate and drank and thot of flys and dates (the time things, not the fruits.) An older woman, 40 years old, sat at the entrance by the restrooms and played the flute. She sounded like 5,000 butterflies dancing at Earth's funeral, becuz Jupiter tried to park his Saturn at her doorstep.

Marjorie Osterich is 42 years and 3 months old. It is March 18th 1998. She keeps her house clean. She collects coupons and shops almost every day. She's been married for 19 years, 8 months and 2 days. Her husband's name is Roland Dougherty. They live in Des Moines, Iowa. She has dusty hay hair and strawberry-buttermilk skin.

5 Alive

Kay Brautlowe, the giant black head orange beak woman
with wavering passion and electrical craving.

SpaldingGreg // LostOcean EternallyAlone
SufferingKneecap SharpBone // ReadyToLeave

Write. Things go and went inside me thru me.
The 5 people are still breathing.
My teeth cling for life to my gums.
Seeds are lost in packets in cold stores,
dark mountain dug out by bulldozers,
washed out to sea.
A fat plankton, a fat jellyfish, explode
like a fat old star. I knew enough to die.
No more babies, eat spiders, eat eyes.
Cannot sleep, cannot wake
Have another thought from that other person.
Fly across a continent.
Land on another continent. Round trip.
11 year-old Jacob Carson. 4-week carcinogen.