Maybe mayber what the fuck!@!

I lucking fuvv GracieHInaBox! Michele is cool! So young and so Old videos!! I am only I a little years younger than them... Youtube, just talking to a camera looking interesting, thinking out loud, living openly... Makes living possible makes one feel included and important...

I keep watching porn and masturbating... It sucks... I am not myself... I am a lesser being... I am an animal.

Are other animals capable of transcendence? Are humans? If so, I wonder what is the purpose of transcendence.
Transcendence is controlling your instincts (such as not masturbating just because you can) and working towards a higher goal, such as whatever exists in your best dreams, then not being overly concerned with worldly matters and caring infinitely about what eternity will be like for everyone...

Daily Grace, July 25th 2013, "That's a human thing! I'm surrounding myself with it... Not human, alive. I have a hard time distinguishing between alive and just human. Neither here nor there."

Journal

Right now, late in the night here, I feel like Leonord Cohen can and has been worthless too. So I have hope I guess.


v


Vee



I like being surrounded by 4 doorways. Open options.




I am litlle, for here now. You. I. Apple. Hand. Sex. Home. Fuck.


Buddy. Bye. Sound. Sleep.


Oh yeah, I want to have sex, fuck, with Stacy. My therapist of 6 years. My desire gets stronger.
She gave birth for the first time several months ago.
I don't think that fact strengthens my desire. It's about how we talk, what we say to each other. And how she looks, clothes and all.

I still have 4 days before I see her again.

I will see members of my family very soon. We will exchange a few looks and words and present gifts. And a few will provide too much food and the wrong food for us to fill our tummies.

I am beginning a tradition of not sleeping the night before Christmas eve.

Howwww........ Incest. Cousins. Colon cancer. Orgasm semen. Blood gush.

Violence

Dont let your heart die

Dont let your butt sing

Dont talk with your mouth open

Dont eat with food in your mouth

Doctor's Visit

I was in my cubicle working, cutting and pasting Tetris blocks onto a website. At 10:30, I got really bored, so I started to eat lunch in front of my computer . I fell asleep on my keyboard. At noon, I woke up and lifted my head. Peter was standing and looking at me. A Tetris block stuck to my forehead. "Are you okay?" he asked then took a sip of coffee. I stared into space. "Yeah," I said. I threw up half a chicken salad sandwich on my keyboard. Peter said I should go see a doctor on the 3rd floor then walked away. I went to the doctor's office. I was sent into an exam room. The doctor came in and listened to my stomach with a stethoscope. She paused. The light left her face. She stood and looked me in the eyes. Coldly, she told me, "Please wait here. I'll be right back." She left then returned with a bald short scientist man wearing a lab coat and black rimmed glasses. I hated him. He pulled out a tiny telescope and put it into my bellybutton. "Hmm," he said as he looked through. He stood and looked me in the eye. He whispered something to the doctor, then he left, thank Jesus, the bastard.  The doctor thought for a second, eyes cast down. She lifted her head and looked at me but through me. "I'm sorry," she said. "Okay," I said. "There are a million dying universes in your core, each full of millions of dying screaming civilizations," she said. I thought for a second. "Okay," I said. She stared into space, stone faced, and cried. I stood and walked to the exam room door. I opened it and stepped out into deep space. I floated away from the exam room. I climbed around in the starry darkness. I found another exam room door. I went in and saw the doctor. We put our arms around each other, smiled, and stared into each other's eyes. "There are millions of universes and millions and millions of us living and dying," she said. "It's okay," I said. We let go. I fell through a space portal, and was immediately hit in the face by a speeding space truck. I woke up standing at a tee on a golf course. In the far distance beyond the fairway, I saw a shallow mountain. I held a golf club. I looked down at the head of the club. Then I fell asleep again.

More Predictive Phone Text

blogger.comthinkgoingtofinallyAlwaysandwhatyouneedyouitlifehairandhissurethatyoukeeptrusther82millionother$aswellallthestormblackensthedoorclosedFlorencetheothertimeasthatallotherwaythevideorecipient,pleasecontactusatorapartmentisonmyfuzzyIam2maketimeforeveryonefirstnightinaverylongwhile.

You can have it all ..... A spiral notebook of messy black ink marks {-: Hi

https://youtu.be/GWzWR51Q1Qc

 -  Can I fix myself or find myself ?

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg971vOoeKwhpwruUqvwjf_ZBs8FlFBOTY3FcKZvJh7QF_1uGfOZ9iPL0wDo5KjwgNp5aIpEEUdcLEExdFxT8z3bNuGjbROZjFMbiPz1DZFv3W1SedymdEokn2w7NVnTsyxKwSg-KeiRrs/s1600/InteriorFoldTEMPLATE.jpg

You can have it all

Below from the waist and naked
Pary is having ami.
... ... They are all
hawaiian Bitches.
My rock-hard melting genitals are 500 meters below ground.
My man's jaw and sex tongue and fuck head and dream eyeballs and feather heather hair and grease pockets penetrate the border of Outer Skies.
I have to know if this is real.
That was a different thing.
I don't know anything about you.
Abstinent. Asexual. Impotent. Infertile.
Jimmy Cliff
ZZaappaa PP AZA St. Francis

________ Good _______
Nothing can be Nothing
Something Anything Everything
My mother, Barbara, drove from Michele Dr., 5 miles Northeast of Bastrop, TX, to Manchaca Rd., 2 miles Northwest of me.
MMm orning.
Aaron wakes up and gets up and eats cow's liver and drinks sour cow's milk crawling with helpful bacteria.
Kiss  -  Rock Orgasm Happiness Language.
NPS.gov  .  .  .  Big Bender
I am Aware.
Absurd is Life's Daily Joys .
Things are Theenghz
Choobs are Loobs. Collywobbles - Joyce
Sexual Intercourse wither baloon mom.

New, Unenjoyable, and Worthwhile.
Worth time. Worthy time.
every woman is someone's Mother
of Invention.
Monday is my favorite day, Nevermind.
I'm gunna fukkin die .
every thing dies .
I wanna make out with a nerd just like me, but different, but still male.


I am afraid of my thoughts and death and life.
I want to see you, feel you, smell you, hear you, understand.
I need to eat. I am tired.
I stretch... I am repeptitive....
I am unstabel.
I am crying.
I am decaying.
Heat and light decay.
Light makes life.
Photosynthesis.
Life thinks.
Water is life. Carbon is life.
Vomit. Rotation.
Music makes me happy.
Music is conscious.
Emotion is real.
Sometimes I feel trapt.
Thinking makes me free, if I do it enough.
Thinking makes me real. Thinking makes Real real. This is inevitabel. In the broadest scope of existence I am always real now, and I am always making this true now and always.
Grammar phone, Science wheel and Peasant flock.
Humour bone, All y McBeal and Calistaf Lock
...   She's so stupid, No, she's O.K. She's 41 ...
WEre WoLF   Space shoes
If this had a title this would be it.
Fill in my lips . Fill in my teeth.
No one knows doughnuts. No one knows my dad.
Know what you are? ...
Prepare not by pretending, but by expecting your memories. 20% of my perceptions today have reminded me of pretty young white women giving blowjobs. You have to  t r y.
quote the foul size of your penis

I seem to suffer from self-imposed, self-encouraged mental disorder.
Can you believe I'm still ready?
The clouds are back.
My mother dumped this on me.
My mother dumped me on this.
Gosh, I want to inject myself with heroin.
These 9 hours have forcefully passed.
I wonder how soon before summer I should move to Toronto. I can get a WWOOF gig for a few months I bet.
Who cares? I do a lot. and I'm worried a lot. I can stay away forever.
I can be where I am always.
I can Love what I do.

Organic Pronto Malphagia
3-17-15 ~ 10 am
Pretendivination
Inside I am a porch.
The clear, silver, moist, artistically musical atmosphere touches my sick skin and a torch erases my sick skin and a torch erases my feelings. Shyny white... bored... blank ... Reverse tusk pierces finite Lyra popular pustules.
I'm drunk on Green Margaritas on St. Patrick's Day Night with my deactivated Nuclear fambily.
I Keep waiting to become myself .... ,  David Foster Wallace ...
               I forget what I want to say
           Water feels real good
Just anything Ananananything
Living Living Human Human Body Sleep
Bodily Fluid , Sustinence,
Equilibrium                                        Homeostasis
Motor Vehicles, Homesteads, Lightning Dogs

Heightened meditation on Kino, Japan, New York City, Helsinki and Australia
I have lived IN this Apartment for 100, one hundread, days.
I've probably written and typed about 100 pages. Probably 100 words on each.
STOP BEING SUCH A FUCK!
I love taking my Body out on Adventures.
I Suck. I'm Gay. I'm Retarded.
I have birth and death de fects.
I am always the same. I'm always good.
I love that ... I'm so cool and artistic.
    I'm going to listen to birds.
There are 3 more seasons of Kids.
Am I Lady .. or Lazy. Am I Selfish.
Am I Conscious.

The time for discomfort is now.
I Like the darkerness, it feels safer.
What's worse. Losing what I Love most or the thing that takes it away?
This feels like it's weird.
Good Reasons to Freeze to Death
3-8-15
I should have known. I wish I would have known. Is she going to cry and die?
I think the Books made some of the most important and most amazing music of the 21st century.

It's bizarre that sometimes when I've put clothes in the dryer, it has felt like one of the hardest things I've ever done. Not doing the dishes is almost a source of pride for me. I'm just totally averse to oing dishes. It's like there is something rewarding about seeing a sink full of dishes and thinking 'I'm not doing that.' It's relieving. Just wash one dish at a time. Wash a mug, wash a fork.

Beautiful blossoming sunshine
Singing loudly "ELF" , Living One Life
Come on down , We got all the people together
Proken Pike
Feels like we are somewhere else
Where I shower is very important to me
One of my biggest goals is to have an outdoor bathroom. Alone on an Island
There's a video game called The Witness
Why do I think I should kill myself so many times a day. I had a fever. It was just like a couple months ago. I felt bad at night. I almost passed out in the morning. I thought I would throw up. I sat and laid on the bathroom floor. I tryd to move and drink water.
 I start to feel better.

My Soul's Choice for Me
seeing and moving in all directions at once inward and outward. William H. Macy is my God Dad. Easter is Christmas. I cum on the inside of my penis.

                             Gone So Fast

God, you're tryin' to kill me. All the sweet boys, their sweet voices, and their sweet words
are trying to kill me
I let them a little.
Casimir Pulaski Day just made me cry again. I looked out the windows. 11:43 a.m. Thursday March 19, 2015. Rdio keeps playing Heartbreaking songs, Bright Eyes, Death Cab, Nowhere and Now, Lack of Color
Am I a movie?  I put on Mt. Goats Radio
      Don't Let Life Pass You By
              Are you Serious?

Last night I finally watched Bigger than Life. I was up till a little after one.

_=-=-=-===   Mini Weeks Later

I finished reading Kino and What the Hell Are You Doing?
I like them. I texted Aaron.
I thot of a book I could write called Text. Or I just thot of Text as a title.
That is what it is. Pat and Bridget are at the gym. Probably. I was watching Kids in the Hall Season 3, today and yesterday. Yesterday we went to Sherwood Forest Faire.
It's Monday March 30, 2015 AD 9:25 PM
I have decided to go to Toronto!
In a ababoout a Year. Woh. I can't write. I ittlele be nice to quit my Job. I guess I was too excited.
Softly Softly Catchy Monkey.

..........................................................................................
I LOVE EVERYDAY LIFE
HOME ECONOMICS!
.......... LONERGAN'S BIG BRAIN


 -  Can I fix myself or find myself ?

Julia Jane Josie Jaqueline Greg Crumbdick Carrol Carter Clement

Julia Grobe drove from home to Mr. Crumbdick's history class. Jane gave her a Danish with strawberry. Carrol had a sore on the back of his left hand, Julia saw he looked sad and distracted. Crumbdick slapped the green chalkboard with a lecture stick. Julia felt her oily hair that was not black and not as short as the hair on any of the boys' heads.

Profile

Travel industry professional with 5+ years of experience in customer service, tourism and hospitality in progressively responsible roles. Detail-oriented leader who thrives in fast-paced environments and excels at building teams, providing superior customer care and developing/implementing new policies & procedures to improve company functions. Areas of expertise include:


She felt fatigue drag thru her body. She imagined herself sinking into watery shadows off a cliff in the ocean. She found herself staring at a poster of lesser know U. S. presidents. She mouthed 'what's the point.' She imagined her lunch periiod with anticipation. Sandwiches and sodas and talk about school games and music. She remembered her dad is coming to visit this week. She thought of zoos and chameleons. Carter tapped her chair with his foot. She looked over her left shoulder to see him making a V with his fore and middle fingers and flicking his tongue in the opening. He turned and snickered with his pal Clement. Julia's face tensed into a stony jagged frown quickly turned forward. She flipped her middle finger at him. To Julia's left, Josie rolled her eyes. Josie imagined throwing her desk at the window, screaming, and running outside. It was a pretty perfect day.

Mr. Crumbdick said, Excuse me, shuffled to the door, fumbled with the knob, and left. Two unnamed kids chuckled out loud, and 12 curled their lips and suppressed it. Jaqueline stood up and drew on the chalkboard a heart shape pierced by an arrow. Clement stared at her blue-jeaned ass, and his blue-jeaned penis became engored with blood. Jane looked around the room and thought of the names for the colors and shapes she saw...

Greg sat in the center of the room and wrote on a blue lined white sheet, 'I killed my family and raped a school.' Josie felt so horny and hungry and trapped that she almost cried. She laid her right arm on her desk and rested he forehead on her sweatered forearm. She sighed, trying to make no sound. She clenched her jaw and fists and squished her eyes closed as hard as she could. She thought of her little sister at home taking a bath and she felt the urge to laugh...

A feeling rose from deep within Josie. She focused on it. She began to relax.

Carrol strode determinedly toward the exit. The feeling climbed through Josie's throat. Instinctively she charged to the door, hand clasped over mouth, bashed Carrol away, and dripped bright reddish bluish vomit on his jeans. She hurtled down the hall to the Girls' Room. Groans and exclamations of disgust rang out from the class. Carrol was stunned, back against the wall for a few long seconds. He snuck out to the Boys' Room. Josie spat a mouthful of candy bile into the sink, went into a stall, sat on the floor, and sobbed.


Joesie, sits by the front doors. Hands folded, head down. She waits for her dad. She is going home.

Just Woke up from a Dream

The Zero Waste design makes for a socially responsible lifestyle.

!    !    !    !

Soooo.... Here We Are. Sexual Selflessness and Sexual Mortification

Perfect over flowing semen sample.

em bare ass ink       poops

Dr Rest Holly effleurages up my pain leg.

Unnecessary treatment of the soft tender flesh

Growing blood pockets twist and stretch and strengthen

Her split ends tickle my frothy navel.

Magnetic or magical or animal attraction, we close the gap between our breaths.

Wall alarms flash blinding blue. Her arms fold under you. Hot wet sway beat rhythmically push and pull over and over through and throughout. Pulses synchronize. Sweet creamy rolling oozing erupting bubbling dripping steamy soaking pumping loving sticky gooey plumping rocking meditating astronomical Bliss.

My Brother's Name

Hey, my brother's name,

Are you done squeezing honey on your biscuit?

Put the hollow plastic bear on my little white hand.

Hey, my brother's name,

I know you did not mean to fuck me up so bad.

I have learned to forgive as much as I can.

Now let's go and get busy to understand.

I wish we could see the stars and the moon,

but the clouds are nice too....


I come,
I come in peace.
I come for you,
when you least expect me.


Come on, live with me.
It gets much better than you think it can be.


I am much more afraid of being seen as a threat

than I am of being threatened.


Christ.... is all she can say....


Their names are.... Tom, Mat, and Kris....



We are going on Holiday very soon.

It may as well all be over now.


I have not begun yet.

What I will see will be what I have seen.

Sittin' at the Bus Stop at 1st and King Edward Eatin' a King Size Whatchamacallit Bar

Dear Peter Beck and David Banner

He seems negative. What's wrong with being black?! I'm naive! My name is Greg! Native American people are the worst people. I hope they are all gone soon, without a trace, and everyone forgets them.
I'm in love with the Sun. Her name is Jesus.
Goodbye. *Power down sound*

Best Worst Band Names

Did I Really Beg God to Kill Me?



Black Anal Cunt       [ anal cunt has been taken ]


bloody infected   infested   full  of  the  worst .  .   and   pain 


and   hate  .  .  .



N. Rape Forever! YAAY!



Fucking ... Babies with AIDS



No Pressure



Just Fucking Let Go, Just Let Go



The Quilted Northern Apocalypse Show



There's Gonna Be Such Diarrhea in 2 Seconds



And You Said You Were a Magic User



Janine Got Diagnosed Today



Ejaculate, AKA We Are Cum



Bold Primary Colored Afro Tits

Creative and

Hi

I am afraid of someone seeing me typing my thoughts onto this screen. Business Center at Arts at Turtle Creek Apartments.

It is getting close to winter, which I have usually experinced as temperate and pleasant. I love the chilly weather. I am going to live forever. I can do everything.

I am listening to If These (Vaginal) Walls Could Talk

I am so afraid afraid of people and myself and my thoughts and existence and God and Truth and Everything and Tiny-ness and.

I am SO creatice. I love myself so much. I love being me.

I meant Creative, but I want to Practice and Get Much Better..... I just lofe, you, I can do it, Just Look At Me And Feel Something

Don't call me anorexic
I don't want to know the truth
I want to stab you in the chest
I am only what I prove to you

I dunno how to say this, or how I should say this, or if I should say this, or if this can be said

I take walks. I listen to young white men mmmble into microphones and strum and pick guitars.

I mean it is all    Jeffrey Lewis.  A real person..... Tom Hiddleston


Country Lounge,  Exposed Heart Tissue


Bleeding Blood, Nouns are Capitalized. I wanted to buy some Bailey's. I should eat.

Work Email

1.       please do not scare children with a ‘policy’ statement.

City resources are used for the second job.

a child or a cookie at a public community meeting – a child’s

$50 or more from a single

source during a 12-month period

Outcomes depend largely on the experience of the surgeon

A site with a URAC, HONCode or TrustE seal

STD benefits are approved by the carrier

the result is too much sugar (glucose) in the

blood

U.S. workers say they feel overwhelmed or overworked

emotionally prepared and making sure you have a solid

Most of the philosophy that has lasted has arisen from some pressing motivation to justify a deeply felt belief

(and a popular Thanksgiving joke)

wondering whether it was not love she had lost so much as a modern form of respectability

state government
men
navy
mathematics
college sports
running
cats
romance
economics
terrorism

november 17th revolution day
marriage week 
atlantic city classic car show 
hockey east championship

difficult to get him to answer basic question about who he was, and how many dimes in a dollar.

n. I just wanted to

be the one in one thousand

that writes to say something

nice.

you are no longer assigned to the following shift:

  Saturday, Feb 14, 2015

    Administrative Assistant

    9:30am to 5:15pm

    7.25 REG / 30" L

A city is a relatively large and permanent human settlement. Although there is no agreement on how a city is distinguished from a town within general English language meanings, many cities have a ...Wikipedia

we’re lazy or bad people

but growth is revealed through change.  Don’t be afraid of the new

did she won’t medical assistant

21DADMOVIE

share to spare the air.

I suspect the vultures will deal with it before then.

Thyme Grilled Chicken Breast: You have been nominated

CD JAZZ METH

Feels like 79°

Broken Clouds

Wind 7mph 
Humidity 82%
Pressure 29.89"
Visibility 9mi

HI SIR; I am tunisien,living in tunisia and and I have a painting from G.GUidi original. I want to sell it .Can you help if you are not unterrested.
BEST REGQRDS
kedhira larbi

EMPTY- IGNORED- FRIENDLESS?

Every Good Boy Deserves Favor and Professional Foul

It appears that when the youth left the meeting room they left the door open and subject discovered the goods.

10. Type the last name of the employee, click once on the employee’s name, and then click Add. 
11. Click once on the employee’s name as it appears in the list of names to highlight it.
12. Select the desired permissions (typically, the permissions associated with "Publishing Editor").
13. Click OK.

deep scratches

Broken DVD

Missing CD #3

Missing DVD

Missing DVD #3

deep scratches

deep scratches

Broken DVD

Broken DVD

deep scratches

no disc/wrong disc

Broken DVD

Broken DVD

DVD #2 Broken

Broken DVD

cracked DVD

‘AFSTWOMAIN’, a.k.a. ‘10.90.52.107’

2.     Are beautiful, interesting and comfortable places for people.

How was the was the mayor of Jamestown VA

huglekultur, Ollas and wicking bed in action!

Mostly I have water or bottled tea.

Jim Hungerford

Sent from my iPad

Foxglove beardtongue

One of them said, he was going to bring his mom to put a physical harm on all three of us. Bonita said, "your just making it worst

About 115 pounds of that gator was a deer in the gator’s stomach.

World party! [sound recording] / Music for Little People (Firm)

She believes the man is living here at night.

Trees are blooming along 49^th street in Hell’s Kitchen.

Studio 1A, home of Today

• Panamanian jockey
• Japanese actress
• English cyclist
• American football player
• Canadian heptathlete

We have 3 flavors of Explora

At around 11am there was loud music was casting from outside the Library on the hallway corridor.

The Locksmith

THE LOCKSMITH

One

 Newspaper in his lap, ice cream by his side, lying in his reclined chair, his eyes half open, he gazed wearily at the grey snowy tropical island on the decrepit television. “$2999” appeared on the screen. Five thousand thoughts went through Harold Richmond’s mind after seeing this and before nodding back off to sleep.

The sun was still out the next day. Harold longed for another cool, cloudy day. He walked to work down a cracked sidewalk. When they saw Harold Richmond, the people across the street were glad they were. It would be all right. He would be indoors soon. His miserable existence was only a footnote in the happy, exciting lives of everyone else. He was generally a kind and reasonable person. Maybe if someone saw this in him, he would not have been in the state he was. At the top of the steps to the shop, Harold’s boss, Carl Horowitz, waited impatiently.
The day was put away as every other, and Harold walked back to his apartment to go through his nightly routine. In a replica of last night, Harold made a decision for his life. Inspired by the same $2999 tropical island vacation commercial, he vowed he would get away from this sadness. No money in his possession made dreams more difficult to make real. He had a job in a trusted profession. He would suddenly become a lot less trustworthy.

Two

The next well to do couple to come crawling to the mercy of Mr. Horowitz and his services were named Grollinger. Harold argued with himself every second of the day and night, which was a little more than usual for him. He finally decided that trying to do something, even if he failed (even if it was illegal), would be much better than doing nothing at all. He made one too many keys for the old, stranded pair and slipped it into his front pocket. That night he sat alert and upright in his living room staring at the key as he turned and twisted it in front of his face in the dimness of the only light coming from his kitchen ceiling. He had overheard a conversation between the shriveled, rich kooks. They were to be out this night until midnight. His stopwatch showed 10:39. He had better get going.

He drove mischievously to the shining mansion in the moonlight. He’d brought two black bags with him. Scared to death he slipped the golden key into the great brass lock. Quickly and surprisingly skillful (to himself), he packed the bags with valuables and left before 11:09. Hitting every other pawnshop he saw he cashed in and earned more than he had expected. Filled with a long-forgotten excitement, Harold tensely but under control made his way to the airport where his vision of apparent happiness awaited his arrival. He sweated nervously all of the way on the jet liner. Stinking like a pig, he departed the craft, taxied to a hotel, showered and lay on one of the double beds. Satisfied by the situation and relieved of his assumed safety, he gazed wearily with half open eyes at a television that did not work so well. It had begun to rain. The grey snowy static and its noise, suddenly realized by Harold, filled him with a deep, dark depression. He was where he had been when he decided to do something about it. He was tired and closed his eyes completely to try to bring on the sleep that would be an only remedy to drown out his melancholy.

Three

 Just on the brink of a beginning dream, a hard tapping on his hotel door, numbered 113, viciously awoke Harold. In the midst of all his panic, bewilderment and fear of the hand that had made the noise Harold sprang off the bed knocking off a lamp beside it with his knee. Another knock sent the frantic Harold racing for the window in the bathroom in the back. He forced it open with some trouble and began the impossible task of squeezing though it. As he hoisted himself up on the toilet the door was violently flung agape. With one arm and a head jutting out into the cool ocean breeze, Harold was shot twice from behind, and falling back into the bathroom and slamming the back of his head into the hard-tiled wall, he was knocked unconscious.

When he awoke the next day in a hospital bed, he still felt the fear and panic of the night before but also a disabling pain. People in white came and went, caring for him as they saw fit. He was gradually improving. Soon he was out of bed and in a wheelchair. It was many days later that he discovered he was still at the beach and that he had not seen the sun once save for the first night in the hotel when he had his head out the bathroom window and he caught a glimpse of it rising in the rain. One day on a request he was wheeled outside on a concrete platform. He was pointed at the sea. He felt a cool wind on his face. The water was dark and turbulent, and the sky was grey and serene. As he gazed up at it, he smiled for the first time in a very long while.

Free write Twenty [2006 or 7, Ms. Roffol]

Along a dry creek bed in Missouri, ran a small brown fox. A dog bark sounded in the distant. Below two dead leaves, an ant poked out and crawled for all salvation. I ordered some chicken. For a while after dinner, I walked over across the street to Brett’s house. I knocked on the door and she let me in. At 11:14 at night, we finished the movie I brought. “I don’t think it’s weird.” she said. I looked around at the things in her bedroom. Her father looked stern and un-accepting to me, like I feared he would. I was excited to be there. I thought I would never have the courage to put myself in that position. At one quarter until twelve. I felt very sad. I wasn’t talking. Every silly little thing I wished I’d say seemed pointless to say, and I just thought about it and said nothing. I curled up into the night and cried.

In the morning, I hate my body and my mind. I went into the opposite bedroom and lay sideways on the top bunk bed. In a few seconds, I became restless and moved around and sat up. I saw a cat come in through the open doorway. Lawn one road. I sat up. beginning the latest intro i became one what with my body i felt like i did and any other way walking down the road and then the footsteps on the empty street we too loud for me to forget while the old hard shops and greyness of the quiet music sky clouds grey gory insane games and inciting a bull in a red vest beside the tree on the hill in the fields in spain crazy for being so fast in the winter wind blows my hair up to the top of the mountain in the snow for two minites is not long enough to be fire in the fire was so hot and uncomfortable in the dinner evening it was too slow to be said i cant talk and the wind was too strong to hear something important to me.

Another Computerised Journal. [typed sometime between 2008 and 2010]

I laugh when I think about the stupid things I have done. It seems, though, when I make a decision to do anything, I end up thinking it is stupid. Sometimes, though, I cringe at knowing that it was actually me, and I actually did and can never undo that stupid thing, like going to my senior prom and actually trying to dance to make a mockery of myself and everyone at my senior prom.

I was reminded of prom by reading the First Pages of John Green’s. of vlogbrothers on http://Youtube.com/, Paper Towns. Everyone can only write about his or her own life.

We only watch movies. They don’t help us understand life any more. We shouldn’t waste our time with these short meaningless movies. We should spend time with long detailed research projects. We should be like Noam Chomsky.

I got a call from the State Park yesterday. Last night in bed, I thought, Okay I have four full days to worry about what I am going to do wrong that will ruin my chances of having that job.

I have no practice. At anything. I can waste time very well. Like this. Typing this is fantastic waste of time.

Okay, so I’ll keep at it.

I am fed, clothed, sheltered, rested, and free of illness (perhaps), so what then? I can do whatever I want? I should help others into similar situations. I find that admirable but difficult. I can ponder existence if that is what I feel like doing. You can go help the needy if that is what you need to do. Is that what you want to do? It gives you pleasure, but not the same as watching a funny movie. Existentially rewarding it may be. Closer to the meaning of life it may bring you. Is that a place you want to be though? Yes, maybe.

Seeking immediate pleasure is a waste of time. Who has it figured out? What is this path of a life that is correct? It is more than just choosing this right path or this wrong path. There are no paths, just an infinite field. How can I say that people do more than just what they do with no reason or explanation?

It is hard only because you are you and you have to be you.

Okay, why not, I’ll let this explain anything.

Goodnight, kjfdbabne’onbflx.djofagh[r vr85yu9m8av h r/hn vaorng’ zag ‘abn