Maybe mayber what the fuck!@!

I lucking fuvv GracieHInaBox! Michele is cool! So young and so Old videos!! I am only I a little years younger than them... Youtube, just talking to a camera looking interesting, thinking out loud, living openly... Makes living possible makes one feel included and important...

I keep watching porn and masturbating... It sucks... I am not myself... I am a lesser being... I am an animal.

Are other animals capable of transcendence? Are humans? If so, I wonder what is the purpose of transcendence.
Transcendence is controlling your instincts (such as not masturbating just because you can) and working towards a higher goal, such as whatever exists in your best dreams, then not being overly concerned with worldly matters and caring infinitely about what eternity will be like for everyone...

Daily Grace, July 25th 2013, "That's a human thing! I'm surrounding myself with it... Not human, alive. I have a hard time distinguishing between alive and just human. Neither here nor there."

Journal

Right now, late in the night here, I feel like Leonord Cohen can and has been worthless too. So I have hope I guess.


v


Vee



I like being surrounded by 4 doorways. Open options.




I am litlle, for here now. You. I. Apple. Hand. Sex. Home. Fuck.


Buddy. Bye. Sound. Sleep.


Oh yeah, I want to have sex, fuck, with Stacy. My therapist of 6 years. My desire gets stronger.
She gave birth for the first time several months ago.
I don't think that fact strengthens my desire. It's about how we talk, what we say to each other. And how she looks, clothes and all.

I still have 4 days before I see her again.

I will see members of my family very soon. We will exchange a few looks and words and present gifts. And a few will provide too much food and the wrong food for us to fill our tummies.

I am beginning a tradition of not sleeping the night before Christmas eve.

Howwww........ Incest. Cousins. Colon cancer. Orgasm semen. Blood gush.

Violence

Dont let your heart die

Dont let your butt sing

Dont talk with your mouth open

Dont eat with food in your mouth

Doctor's Visit

I was in my cubicle working, cutting and pasting Tetris blocks onto a website. At 10:30, I got really bored, so I started to eat lunch in front of my computer . I fell asleep on my keyboard. At noon, I woke up and lifted my head. Peter was standing and looking at me. A Tetris block stuck to my forehead. "Are you okay?" he asked then took a sip of coffee. I stared into space. "Yeah," I said. I threw up half a chicken salad sandwich on my keyboard. Peter said I should go see a doctor on the 3rd floor then walked away. I went to the doctor's office. I was sent into an exam room. The doctor came in and listened to my stomach with a stethoscope. She paused. The light left her face. She stood and looked me in the eyes. Coldly, she told me, "Please wait here. I'll be right back." She left then returned with a bald short scientist man wearing a lab coat and black rimmed glasses. I hated him. He pulled out a tiny telescope and put it into my bellybutton. "Hmm," he said as he looked through. He stood and looked me in the eye. He whispered something to the doctor, then he left, thank Jesus, the bastard.  The doctor thought for a second, eyes cast down. She lifted her head and looked at me but through me. "I'm sorry," she said. "Okay," I said. "There are a million dying universes in your core, each full of millions of dying screaming civilizations," she said. I thought for a second. "Okay," I said. She stared into space, stone faced, and cried. I stood and walked to the exam room door. I opened it and stepped out into deep space. I floated away from the exam room. I climbed around in the starry darkness. I found another exam room door. I went in and saw the doctor. We put our arms around each other, smiled, and stared into each other's eyes. "There are millions of universes and millions and millions of us living and dying," she said. "It's okay," I said. We let go. I fell through a space portal, and was immediately hit in the face by a speeding space truck. I woke up standing at a tee on a golf course. In the far distance beyond the fairway, I saw a shallow mountain. I held a golf club. I looked down at the head of the club. Then I fell asleep again.

More Predictive Phone Text

blogger.comthinkgoingtofinallyAlwaysandwhatyouneedyouitlifehairandhissurethatyoukeeptrusther82millionother$aswellallthestormblackensthedoorclosedFlorencetheothertimeasthatallotherwaythevideorecipient,pleasecontactusatorapartmentisonmyfuzzyIam2maketimeforeveryonefirstnightinaverylongwhile.

You can have it all ..... A spiral notebook of messy black ink marks {-: Hi

https://youtu.be/GWzWR51Q1Qc

 -  Can I fix myself or find myself ?

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg971vOoeKwhpwruUqvwjf_ZBs8FlFBOTY3FcKZvJh7QF_1uGfOZ9iPL0wDo5KjwgNp5aIpEEUdcLEExdFxT8z3bNuGjbROZjFMbiPz1DZFv3W1SedymdEokn2w7NVnTsyxKwSg-KeiRrs/s1600/InteriorFoldTEMPLATE.jpg

You can have it all

Below from the waist and naked
Pary is having ami.
... ... They are all
hawaiian Bitches.
My rock-hard melting genitals are 500 meters below ground.
My man's jaw and sex tongue and fuck head and dream eyeballs and feather heather hair and grease pockets penetrate the border of Outer Skies.
I have to know if this is real.
That was a different thing.
I don't know anything about you.
Abstinent. Asexual. Impotent. Infertile.
Jimmy Cliff
ZZaappaa PP AZA St. Francis

________ Good _______
Nothing can be Nothing
Something Anything Everything
My mother, Barbara, drove from Michele Dr., 5 miles Northeast of Bastrop, TX, to Manchaca Rd., 2 miles Northwest of me.
MMm orning.
Aaron wakes up and gets up and eats cow's liver and drinks sour cow's milk crawling with helpful bacteria.
Kiss  -  Rock Orgasm Happiness Language.
NPS.gov  .  .  .  Big Bender
I am Aware.
Absurd is Life's Daily Joys .
Things are Theenghz
Choobs are Loobs. Collywobbles - Joyce
Sexual Intercourse wither baloon mom.

New, Unenjoyable, and Worthwhile.
Worth time. Worthy time.
every woman is someone's Mother
of Invention.
Monday is my favorite day, Nevermind.
I'm gunna fukkin die .
every thing dies .
I wanna make out with a nerd just like me, but different, but still male.


I am afraid of my thoughts and death and life.
I want to see you, feel you, smell you, hear you, understand.
I need to eat. I am tired.
I stretch... I am repeptitive....
I am unstabel.
I am crying.
I am decaying.
Heat and light decay.
Light makes life.
Photosynthesis.
Life thinks.
Water is life. Carbon is life.
Vomit. Rotation.
Music makes me happy.
Music is conscious.
Emotion is real.
Sometimes I feel trapt.
Thinking makes me free, if I do it enough.
Thinking makes me real. Thinking makes Real real. This is inevitabel. In the broadest scope of existence I am always real now, and I am always making this true now and always.
Grammar phone, Science wheel and Peasant flock.
Humour bone, All y McBeal and Calistaf Lock
...   She's so stupid, No, she's O.K. She's 41 ...
WEre WoLF   Space shoes
If this had a title this would be it.
Fill in my lips . Fill in my teeth.
No one knows doughnuts. No one knows my dad.
Know what you are? ...
Prepare not by pretending, but by expecting your memories. 20% of my perceptions today have reminded me of pretty young white women giving blowjobs. You have to  t r y.
quote the foul size of your penis

I seem to suffer from self-imposed, self-encouraged mental disorder.
Can you believe I'm still ready?
The clouds are back.
My mother dumped this on me.
My mother dumped me on this.
Gosh, I want to inject myself with heroin.
These 9 hours have forcefully passed.
I wonder how soon before summer I should move to Toronto. I can get a WWOOF gig for a few months I bet.
Who cares? I do a lot. and I'm worried a lot. I can stay away forever.
I can be where I am always.
I can Love what I do.

Organic Pronto Malphagia
3-17-15 ~ 10 am
Pretendivination
Inside I am a porch.
The clear, silver, moist, artistically musical atmosphere touches my sick skin and a torch erases my sick skin and a torch erases my feelings. Shyny white... bored... blank ... Reverse tusk pierces finite Lyra popular pustules.
I'm drunk on Green Margaritas on St. Patrick's Day Night with my deactivated Nuclear fambily.
I Keep waiting to become myself .... ,  David Foster Wallace ...
               I forget what I want to say
           Water feels real good
Just anything Ananananything
Living Living Human Human Body Sleep
Bodily Fluid , Sustinence,
Equilibrium                                        Homeostasis
Motor Vehicles, Homesteads, Lightning Dogs

Heightened meditation on Kino, Japan, New York City, Helsinki and Australia
I have lived IN this Apartment for 100, one hundread, days.
I've probably written and typed about 100 pages. Probably 100 words on each.
STOP BEING SUCH A FUCK!
I love taking my Body out on Adventures.
I Suck. I'm Gay. I'm Retarded.
I have birth and death de fects.
I am always the same. I'm always good.
I love that ... I'm so cool and artistic.
    I'm going to listen to birds.
There are 3 more seasons of Kids.
Am I Lady .. or Lazy. Am I Selfish.
Am I Conscious.

The time for discomfort is now.
I Like the darkerness, it feels safer.
What's worse. Losing what I Love most or the thing that takes it away?
This feels like it's weird.
Good Reasons to Freeze to Death
3-8-15
I should have known. I wish I would have known. Is she going to cry and die?
I think the Books made some of the most important and most amazing music of the 21st century.

It's bizarre that sometimes when I've put clothes in the dryer, it has felt like one of the hardest things I've ever done. Not doing the dishes is almost a source of pride for me. I'm just totally averse to oing dishes. It's like there is something rewarding about seeing a sink full of dishes and thinking 'I'm not doing that.' It's relieving. Just wash one dish at a time. Wash a mug, wash a fork.

Beautiful blossoming sunshine
Singing loudly "ELF" , Living One Life
Come on down , We got all the people together
Proken Pike
Feels like we are somewhere else
Where I shower is very important to me
One of my biggest goals is to have an outdoor bathroom. Alone on an Island
There's a video game called The Witness
Why do I think I should kill myself so many times a day. I had a fever. It was just like a couple months ago. I felt bad at night. I almost passed out in the morning. I thought I would throw up. I sat and laid on the bathroom floor. I tryd to move and drink water.
 I start to feel better.

My Soul's Choice for Me
seeing and moving in all directions at once inward and outward. William H. Macy is my God Dad. Easter is Christmas. I cum on the inside of my penis.

                             Gone So Fast

God, you're tryin' to kill me. All the sweet boys, their sweet voices, and their sweet words
are trying to kill me
I let them a little.
Casimir Pulaski Day just made me cry again. I looked out the windows. 11:43 a.m. Thursday March 19, 2015. Rdio keeps playing Heartbreaking songs, Bright Eyes, Death Cab, Nowhere and Now, Lack of Color
Am I a movie?  I put on Mt. Goats Radio
      Don't Let Life Pass You By
              Are you Serious?

Last night I finally watched Bigger than Life. I was up till a little after one.

_=-=-=-===   Mini Weeks Later

I finished reading Kino and What the Hell Are You Doing?
I like them. I texted Aaron.
I thot of a book I could write called Text. Or I just thot of Text as a title.
That is what it is. Pat and Bridget are at the gym. Probably. I was watching Kids in the Hall Season 3, today and yesterday. Yesterday we went to Sherwood Forest Faire.
It's Monday March 30, 2015 AD 9:25 PM
I have decided to go to Toronto!
In a ababoout a Year. Woh. I can't write. I ittlele be nice to quit my Job. I guess I was too excited.
Softly Softly Catchy Monkey.

..........................................................................................
I LOVE EVERYDAY LIFE
HOME ECONOMICS!
.......... LONERGAN'S BIG BRAIN


 -  Can I fix myself or find myself ?

Julia Jane Josie Jaqueline Greg Crumbdick Carrol Carter Clement

Julia Grobe drove from home to Mr. Crumbdick's history class. Jane gave her a Danish with strawberry. Carrol had a sore on the back of his left hand, Julia saw he looked sad and distracted. Crumbdick slapped the green chalkboard with a lecture stick. Julia felt her oily hair that was not black and not as short as the hair on any of the boys' heads.

Profile

Travel industry professional with 5+ years of experience in customer service, tourism and hospitality in progressively responsible roles. Detail-oriented leader who thrives in fast-paced environments and excels at building teams, providing superior customer care and developing/implementing new policies & procedures to improve company functions. Areas of expertise include:


She felt fatigue drag thru her body. She imagined herself sinking into watery shadows off a cliff in the ocean. She found herself staring at a poster of lesser know U. S. presidents. She mouthed 'what's the point.' She imagined her lunch periiod with anticipation. Sandwiches and sodas and talk about school games and music. She remembered her dad is coming to visit this week. She thought of zoos and chameleons. Carter tapped her chair with his foot. She looked over her left shoulder to see him making a V with his fore and middle fingers and flicking his tongue in the opening. He turned and snickered with his pal Clement. Julia's face tensed into a stony jagged frown quickly turned forward. She flipped her middle finger at him. To Julia's left, Josie rolled her eyes. Josie imagined throwing her desk at the window, screaming, and running outside. It was a pretty perfect day.

Mr. Crumbdick said, Excuse me, shuffled to the door, fumbled with the knob, and left. Two unnamed kids chuckled out loud, and 12 curled their lips and suppressed it. Jaqueline stood up and drew on the chalkboard a heart shape pierced by an arrow. Clement stared at her blue-jeaned ass, and his blue-jeaned penis became engored with blood. Jane looked around the room and thought of the names for the colors and shapes she saw...

Greg sat in the center of the room and wrote on a blue lined white sheet, 'I killed my family and raped a school.' Josie felt so horny and hungry and trapped that she almost cried. She laid her right arm on her desk and rested he forehead on her sweatered forearm. She sighed, trying to make no sound. She clenched her jaw and fists and squished her eyes closed as hard as she could. She thought of her little sister at home taking a bath and she felt the urge to laugh...

A feeling rose from deep within Josie. She focused on it. She began to relax.

Carrol strode determinedly toward the exit. The feeling climbed through Josie's throat. Instinctively she charged to the door, hand clasped over mouth, bashed Carrol away, and dripped bright reddish bluish vomit on his jeans. She hurtled down the hall to the Girls' Room. Groans and exclamations of disgust rang out from the class. Carrol was stunned, back against the wall for a few long seconds. He snuck out to the Boys' Room. Josie spat a mouthful of candy bile into the sink, went into a stall, sat on the floor, and sobbed.


Joesie, sits by the front doors. Hands folded, head down. She waits for her dad. She is going home.